Episode 139

How to develop charisma as a business owner and How to bounce back from failure | Daniel Tolson

In a focus on what really differentiates people in podcasting, training, public speaking and edutainment in general, there does seem to be a group of people who just seem to have something about them. That je ne sais quoi, the x-factor, a charisma that makes them much more appealing to listen to than 'average' people.

In this episode, we get into some real talk about the elements of charisma and why it matters with coach, speaker, podcaster and personal development trainer Daniel Tolson. I had thought for the longest time that I was unique in the personal and professional development world as a former flight attendant who had become a coach and podcaster but it turns out, not so much. However, it's nice to have met someone with so many similarities in their journey and has helped me put to bed the idea that my past as a trolly dolly was a barrier to my future as anything else.

One of the things I think is striking about the conversation with Daniel is that he's failed many times in business. More times than most people would even try. Despite that, he's persevered and is now doing very well with his own show, his coaching & training business and a nice life in Taiwan. We both left our flying careers around the same time and it is interesting for me to have found out that my challenges were far from unique.

Whilst we did talk a little about our flying days, it's hard for two ex hosties not to, we mostly discussed influence and persuasion through the lens of charisma, something that has a huge impact on influence, authority and persuasive capability. Whilst wit and charm were taught to Daniel as being key from a young age, there's an element he feels made all the difference but most people don't get.

In this episode:

  • Coaching at 40,000ft
  • Charisma = wit+charm+?
  • The importance of the basics
  • Getting in your own way
  • The achievement mindset
  • Coming back from failure and more...

This was a fun chat between 2 former flyers and present podcasters which I am certain you will enjoy and get value from. The book Daniel mentions is called Maximum Achievement and is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/3OAWSYP If you'd like to know more about Daniel you can visit his site https://danieltolson.com/ or find him on social media. As you will tell from the show, he's super friendly.

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Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcript
Johnny:

Welcome to the show.

Johnny:

My name is Johnny Ball.

Johnny:

This is Speaking Influence the show where we delve into the world of influence and

Johnny:

persuasion to help you build authority in your industry and your life, and to become

Johnny:

a powerfully persuasive communicator.

Johnny:

Each week, we take a range of guests from all walks of influence and

Johnny:

persuasion, mainly in professional life and talk to them about

Johnny:

what it is that they do to build influence, and to be more persuasive.

Johnny:

We also like to find out what their secret superpower is, and also who

Johnny:

the people who've inspired them with that influence and persuasion.

Johnny:

This week, I get to chat with somebody who has a unique history

Johnny:

in the personal development world.

Johnny:

Although maybe not that unique because we shared a lot of things in common.

Johnny:

And one of those things that I was throughly surprised by and had never

Johnny:

encountered before in the personal and professional development world

Johnny:

was that he like myself, used to be cabin crew for an airline.

Johnny:

I don't know if you've ever listened to the show before and hear me talk

Johnny:

about that, but it's said a long time ago in my past now, however,

Johnny:

it was also a very significant part of my life and a lot of fun.

Johnny:

And for him too, we did talk a very small amount about our airline days.

Johnny:

The stories from that.

Johnny:

And without wanting to go on too much about that, because it's not,

Johnny:

wasn't really what we're here for.

Johnny:

I think you'll enjoy what we shared about that as well.

Johnny:

But for me, it was very exciting to be sharing some time with somebody

Johnny:

who has a very similar background to myself in terms of career history.

Johnny:

And the kinds of work we've been doing and the kinds of people

Johnny:

that we've been working with.

Johnny:

And he also has a magnificent voice for podcasts, which probably is why he is

Johnny:

also a podcast host himself as well as being a coach speaker and a trainer.

Johnny:

His name is Daniel Tolson, and I know all you need to do is

Johnny:

to relax and enjoy the show.

Johnny:

to Speaking Influence.

Johnny:

Now today's guest is someone who I couldn't not have on the show because

Johnny:

this is somebody who helps people to accelerate and grow their influence.

Johnny:

And that's what we're all about, right?

Johnny:

We want to help grow our influence.

Johnny:

And there's a number of ways that we do that.

Johnny:

There's a lot of things I want to talk to him about.

Johnny:

His name is Daniel Tolson.

Johnny:

Welcome to the show.

Daniel Tolson:

Thank you so much.

Daniel Tolson:

It's a pleasure.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'm what a change from being at 40,000.

Daniel Tolson:

Flying around the world

Johnny:

Well, yeah, I

Johnny:

was, I was going to wait a bit to, to bring that into the conversation, but

Johnny:

yeah, we, we have something in common.

Johnny:

We both used to fly for a living and, uh, and so.

Johnny:

Encountered until you anyone else who'd come from aviation.

Johnny:

Thank you.

Johnny:

From the cabin crew side of it into personal and

Johnny:

professional development stuff.

Johnny:

And so we have that, that unique connection.

Johnny:

I think there's Not too many of us.

Daniel Tolson:

Not at all.

Daniel Tolson:

I remember flying at 40,000 feet and, uh, doing jump seat therapy from Dubai to

Daniel Tolson:

London, Heathrow from Dubai to Thailand.

Daniel Tolson:

As soon as everybody knew I was a coach, they said, can you hypnotize me?

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, I can try.

Johnny:

I think, I think maybe the only jumpseat therapy I really

Johnny:

did was bringing people alcohol when they were a bit stressed.

Johnny:

That was probably it, but you know, the good times, good times flying.

Johnny:

It was a, it was a fun job.

Johnny:

Uh, I'm not sure.

Johnny:

I'm not sure it's so much fun anymore.

Johnny:

I think it's mainly just a job for people these days.

Johnny:

But, uh, I, I miss, I miss some of the destinations a bit, you know,

Daniel Tolson:

There was some good Bonzai.

Daniel Tolson:

I I had a special skill in knob was a tarot card reader.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'd take my taro cards onto the flights in the, after the service would close the

Daniel Tolson:

mid galley and would pull the curtains across other pers I couldn't see us in

Daniel Tolson:

there and I'd get out my tarot deck and I'd be doing readings for the cabin crew.

Daniel Tolson:

And occasionally the customers would pop their head in, would pull the

Daniel Tolson:

Lin and over the top of the cards.

Daniel Tolson:

And they'd say, what is.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'm like, you're not going to tell anyone I hear this.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, we're doing tarot card writings.

Daniel Tolson:

And like, can I have a writing?

Daniel Tolson:

So I'll do these tarot readings at 40,000 feet.

Daniel Tolson:

And sometimes I'll get a call from the captain.

Daniel Tolson:

And the captain would call down to IL five and say, is Daniel.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'll talk and say, Hey, it's Daniel.

Daniel Tolson:

They're like, can you come to the cockpit?

Daniel Tolson:

I said, what's happening?

Daniel Tolson:

They said, bring up your tarot cards, do a rating in the cockpit.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'd go up and I'll take the silver service tray,

Daniel Tolson:

I'd take the linen and I'd walk into the cockpit and I'll do a

Daniel Tolson:

readings for the first officer and for the captain at 40,000 feet.

Johnny:

Wow.

Johnny:

Uh, quite quite a unique thing to be doing, to be thinking altitude.

Johnny:

I think the main thing that used to happen in the galley on my flights was

Johnny:

me trying to get away from people's conversations, intimate conversations

Johnny:

about their sex lives, which cabin crew seem to think.

Johnny:

Cabin crew often seemed to think that the curtains are a soundproof,

Johnny:

but, and they're definitely not.

Johnny:

Some people have been entertained by some.

Johnny:

Um, enlightening conversations, I think.

Daniel Tolson:

those customers in the front row business class.

Johnny:

Especially, especially Daniel.

Johnny:

It's great to have to have that sort of commonality in our background and, and

Johnny:

flying was certainly a lot of fun and flying in a different direction because we

Johnny:

are both people who moved into the world of personal and professional development.

Johnny:

And you've done some very specific things with that, which wants to get

Johnny:

on to talking about, I want to ask you.

Johnny:

What, uh, well, somebody is maybe who inspires you particularly, or someone who

Johnny:

you look up to for their influence and persuasion and for how they've used it.

Daniel Tolson:

I've got a cousin and, uh, he's always been a role model in my life.

Daniel Tolson:

Super confident, big goals.

Daniel Tolson:

Um, doesn't talk too much about them.

Daniel Tolson:

You, he won't say what he's doing, but he will just go out

Daniel Tolson:

and he'll achieve these big wins.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think one of his businesses at the moment, he's got 500

Daniel Tolson:

employees and he would just go out and he'll do massive stuff.

Daniel Tolson:

And I remember when I was young, he said, Daniel, in life, you need to have.

Daniel Tolson:

And you need to have charm.

Daniel Tolson:

And I didn't really understand what Whitten charm was, but he was drilling

Daniel Tolson:

this into me at age six or seven.

Daniel Tolson:

And so what do you do is you'd say, what I want you to do is I want you

Daniel Tolson:

to go and talk to those girls over there on the table and just tell

Daniel Tolson:

them that, ah, I'm your big brother.

Daniel Tolson:

So we'd go to a restaurant and you'd send me over to a table event.

Daniel Tolson:

Eight, eight, and nine year old, 18 and 19 year old girls.

Daniel Tolson:

He was about the same age and I'd start talking to them.

Daniel Tolson:

And that's how you'll really young.

Daniel Tolson:

You're really handsome.

Daniel Tolson:

Who you with?

Daniel Tolson:

I'm like, oh, I'm here with my brother over here and he'd just

Daniel Tolson:

be waving from the other side.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, look, you got to build your company.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I remember when I was about 18, he said, Hey, you know,

Daniel Tolson:

the girl down at the local pizza shop, she's really good looking.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, you should add crack onto her.

Daniel Tolson:

So what am I going to do that for?

Daniel Tolson:

He said, just go down to the local pizza shop and get a table for yourself and

Daniel Tolson:

just get her to come over and serve.

Daniel Tolson:

Now I E he's got a great character about him.

Daniel Tolson:

And what I learned from that is I need to have wit and charm and people like people

Daniel Tolson:

with charisma, and I've seen him get into places where most people would never go.

Daniel Tolson:

And because he had wit ad charm.

Daniel Tolson:

But one thing that I really like about him is that he's very confident.

Daniel Tolson:

And I asked him one day, I said, who do you look up to in life?

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, I look up to myself.

Daniel Tolson:

It looked in and went, I'm like any guys, I look up to myself

Daniel Tolson:

and I said, how do you mean?

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, there's nobody in my field doing what I'm doing.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, I have nobody to look up to other than myself.

Daniel Tolson:

And he says, I put myself on a pedestal pedestal.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I live up to that image I have in mind.

Daniel Tolson:

And he's got 500 people working for him.

Daniel Tolson:

He's got businesses everywhere and he's crushing it and it's that confidence to

Daniel Tolson:

do what nobody else is doing in his field.

Daniel Tolson:

So he's been a big role model.

Johnny:

yeah, and that's a fantastic example of a role model.

Johnny:

Are there any other things other than wit and charm that you feel are

Johnny:

essential to success for you personally?

Daniel Tolson:

Resiliency resiliency for me.

Daniel Tolson:

I learned as an athlete and as an athlete my, my same cousin

Daniel Tolson:

taught me exact same thing.

Daniel Tolson:

He said when we were learning to water skiing, he said never drop the rope.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, if you drop the rope, when you're water skiing, you lose control.

Daniel Tolson:

You said, so, whatever you do hold onto the rope to the

Daniel Tolson:

moment that you hit the water.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I remember one day I was water skiing.

Daniel Tolson:

I was probably only about six or seven, and I was crossing over the

Daniel Tolson:

wake behind the boat and I dropped.

Daniel Tolson:

And he just kept driving the boat off into the sunset.

Daniel Tolson:

And he left me in the middle of the river and I peddled to the side

Daniel Tolson:

of the river and I thought he was going to come back an hour later.

Daniel Tolson:

He's still not there.

Daniel Tolson:

So I had to swim back up the river and across the river to get

Daniel Tolson:

back to where our house walls.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I learned about resiliency and resiliency.

Daniel Tolson:

Familiar I've fallen down many times.

Daniel Tolson:

I've had learning disabilities, Epstein, BARR, virus, chronic fatigue.

Daniel Tolson:

I used to get tonsillitis six and seven times a year.

Daniel Tolson:

I had two major knee reconstructions.

Daniel Tolson:

I had six guys tried to cure me.

Daniel Tolson:

I lost a business in 2007.

Daniel Tolson:

When COVID come along, I had to shut down a company.

Daniel Tolson:

I had to end one of my international franchises that I owned, but

Daniel Tolson:

what got me through it all was.

Daniel Tolson:

you can have wit and charm and no resiliency and you won't get anywhere.

Daniel Tolson:

But if you've got wit charm and resiliency, you can go wherever you want.

Johnny:

I think that is a pretty magical combination and it's incredible.

Johnny:

Three really?

Johnny:

I think resiliency is perhaps one of the things we don't see very much of, but.

Johnny:

I guess wit and charm is fairly uncommon these days as well.

Johnny:

People seem to be lacking in all those things.

Johnny:

So when you have got them, I think you stand out perhaps even what,

Johnny:

maybe it's always been the case.

Johnny:

Maybe it's always been a very small group of people who have this, but it

Johnny:

does seem that you stand out from the crowd when you have some charisma.

Johnny:

And certainly, certainly when you have some, some resiliency

Johnny:

in your life stories as well.

Johnny:

I think that those are fantastic

Daniel Tolson:

wooden charm is very different in a digital age before the

Daniel Tolson:

digital age, we would have to speak to.

Daniel Tolson:

We'd have to speak to them face to face.

Daniel Tolson:

And you had to think of things top of the mind to be at the tongue.

Daniel Tolson:

But today what happens is people sit beside or beside a computer or

Daniel Tolson:

digital device and they use emojis.

Daniel Tolson:

As wit and charm and people can be very witty on text.

Daniel Tolson:

People can be very witty on Twitter with how many characters, seventy-five

Daniel Tolson:

characters, whatever it might be, but they don't have it face to face.

Daniel Tolson:

And I remember dating when I was a lot younger and I'd meet these

Daniel Tolson:

girls and they would text to you.

Daniel Tolson:

And I was like, wow, this girl is really cool on text until I went

Daniel Tolson:

out for a date with them on dinner.

Daniel Tolson:

And they sat there the whole time.

Daniel Tolson:

He didn't say a word and I went.

Daniel Tolson:

Totally different.

Daniel Tolson:

And I don't know how many hundreds of girls I must've had who were

Daniel Tolson:

exactly like that on text, on email, online on WhatsApp, on Facebook.

Daniel Tolson:

They were a totally different person, but when I met them face to face, all of

Daniel Tolson:

that went and I saw the true character.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Daniel Tolson:

So as I said at my wedding, I said, you've got to slay a

Daniel Tolson:

few dragons before you get the princess.

Johnny:

It's a different variation.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

I I've had some experiences like that myself in dating

Johnny:

and, and otherwise as well.

Johnny:

It's amazing how how much of a difference personal chemistry

Johnny:

when you're with somebody makes in terms of your interactions.

Johnny:

I think also there's this maybe safety element of typing stuff from

Johnny:

behind the screen that people perhaps allowed themselves to be a bit more

Johnny:

vulnerable in their communications online when you're not face-to-face.

Johnny:

And then in person.

Johnny:

But perhaps that's where people start to get shy and

Johnny:

self-conscious, and socially awkward.

Johnny:

And one of my biggest challenges in life as Well, and still is still is I

Johnny:

suppose, to some degree, uh, earlier you might not think it now is being a bit

Johnny:

socially awkward in certain situations.

Johnny:

It's like, oh, I don't know what to say.

Johnny:

Or I feel really awkward.

Johnny:

I get really embarrassed.

Johnny:

And once you start getting into that and you're thinking it's

Johnny:

very hard to get out of it.

Johnny:

And that certainly, yeah, probably killed a few date prospects

Johnny:

for me in the past before now.

Daniel Tolson:

Well, I can't dance.

Daniel Tolson:

So my dancing, I can't dance and my dancing skills didn't work for my wife.

Daniel Tolson:

But my personality one or over.

Daniel Tolson:

So what I make up for in wit and charm I lose in dancing.

Johnny:

It's fascinating.

Johnny:

Actually, I I've been recently rereading how to win friends and

Johnny:

influence people, which is a book that I revisit fairly regularly.

Johnny:

And one of the things I wanted to do on this show was to start bringing in

Johnny:

some slightly different content things

Johnny:

like some book reviews, which I loved doing.

Johnny:

And I thought that's a really good one to start with.

Johnny:

Cause that's a book that has had an impact on me and that has 30 principles

Johnny:

on it that you can still utilize today.

Johnny:

And we talk about wit and charm and it certainly comes into those principles.

Johnny:

I'm one of the somebody who I really look up to not perhaps, maybe for

Johnny:

that influence, but for certainly the skill is a lady called Fran Leibowitz.

Johnny:

Who's a writer for the new Yorker.

Johnny:

And I just think she's an incredible raconteur.

Johnny:

And we could, I could listen to her talk for hours and hours.

Johnny:

Like she did a show on Netflix, not that long ago.

Johnny:

And and it was mainly just her telling her stories, but I don't always agree

Johnny:

with her opinions and things like that.

Johnny:

About the way she tells stories.

Johnny:

Is she someone who you can't help, but want to listen to and be entertained by?

Johnny:

And that is something that I definitely aspire to for myself, but I think

Johnny:

there's a wit and charm to that.

Johnny:

Makes people want to be around.

Johnny:

You makes people want to listen to you.

Johnny:

And so I think It's something we should all bring a bit more into our lives of, of

Johnny:

having those, those interpersonal skills.

Johnny:

Do you think it is something that can be learned or is it something you

Johnny:

need to have some element of already?

Daniel Tolson:

It's a learned skill.

Daniel Tolson:

It's a learned skill.

Daniel Tolson:

I remember growing up in my grandfather.

Daniel Tolson:

He was a great story.

Daniel Tolson:

And it's not as if he could just tell one good story.

Daniel Tolson:

He could tell many good stories.

Daniel Tolson:

But what I realized is that he told the same story over and over and

Daniel Tolson:

again, until he got really good at it.

Daniel Tolson:

And I looked up to my grandfather and I said, what are these characteristics

Daniel Tolson:

and qualities I like about him?

Daniel Tolson:

And it was his ability to tell a good story.

Daniel Tolson:

So I went and learned.

Daniel Tolson:

Had a tell good stories.

Daniel Tolson:

And then after years of education and practice and telling the same

Daniel Tolson:

story in many different ways, I finally realized that you can

Daniel Tolson:

learn how to communicate better.

Daniel Tolson:

You can learn how to tell a really good story.

Daniel Tolson:

And it's a learnable skill.

Daniel Tolson:

Nobody's born a natural born storyteller.

Daniel Tolson:

I've never met a doctor who has given birth to a baby and hold

Daniel Tolson:

it up to the air and said, this is a natural born storyteller.

Daniel Tolson:

And the doctor says this child can be doing have anything at all.

Daniel Tolson:

If it's willing to make some sacrifices and to acquire skills.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I believe that anybody can learn to become a excellent communicator.

Daniel Tolson:

And what you're describing with this lady here, I am not familiar with her

Daniel Tolson:

name, but everybody loves stories.

Daniel Tolson:

You know, as soon as you hear the word.

Daniel Tolson:

Once upon a time in a far away land, all of a sudden you go from age 50

Daniel Tolson:

all the way back down to sitting on mom and dad's lap and you lean forward

Daniel Tolson:

because everybody loves the story.

Daniel Tolson:

The stories activate the right brain and people are more right brain.

Daniel Tolson:

The left brain, every decision we make is a right brain, right?

Daniel Tolson:

And if we can engage people's right minds, then we can lead

Daniel Tolson:

them to making a good decision.

Daniel Tolson:

I don't know anybody who's gone to a lecture and had facts

Daniel Tolson:

dropped on them for an hour.

Daniel Tolson:

Straight fact, fact, fact, fact, fact can come out and go,

Daniel Tolson:

wow, that was a great lecture.

Daniel Tolson:

They're like, gosh, shit, too much information.

Daniel Tolson:

But when you hear these stories and think about Hollywood, some of these

Daniel Tolson:

productions to make these Hollywood movies, two, three, $400 million, what

Daniel Tolson:

are they telling that telling you.

Daniel Tolson:

And Hollywood has a blueprint of telling a story, and this is why they can pump

Daniel Tolson:

out billion dollar movies week after week, month after month, year after

Daniel Tolson:

year, because there's a formula to it.

Daniel Tolson:

So you can learn it.

Johnny:

Yeah, absolutely.

Johnny:

I think one of my favorite shows that I've ever done on storytelling and I

Johnny:

have a few, it's not, it's not one of the things that I've had a massive effect.

Johnny:

On the show, but I think it.

Johnny:

is an important skill of influence.

Johnny:

There's a guy called Matthew Dicks who has won multiple moth championships

Johnny:

and grand slams in, in the USA and is an incredible storyteller there, there

Johnny:

probably a few more people in that sort of genre that I'm going to get,

Johnny:

but he, he has an amazing book and.

Johnny:

Teaches storytelling techniques and is so powerful.

Johnny:

And if you even applied some of that, your storytelling abilities are going

Johnny:

to go from zero to hero very quickly.

Johnny:

And, uh, yeah, definitely well worth spending a bit of time on doing that.

Johnny:

How exactly did you end up going from working in airlines to working in

Johnny:

personal and professional development?

Daniel Tolson:

Well, my time is a coach started at roundabout at age 14.

Daniel Tolson:

So as we were starting to water skiing wakeboard I had

Daniel Tolson:

this ability to watch a video.

Daniel Tolson:

We used to watch V H S videos back then, and I'd watch a video.

Daniel Tolson:

And I would break down the tricks that these riders were doing and

Daniel Tolson:

I'd go out and I'd say, well, if I do these three or five things, I

Daniel Tolson:

should be able to land that trick.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'd watch a video, I'd break it down into three or five steps.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd go and land the trick the first and second time.

Daniel Tolson:

And people like Danny Dames, like, how do you do that?

Daniel Tolson:

I'm like, I'll just watch the video.

Daniel Tolson:

And they're like, then what?

Daniel Tolson:

I'm like break down the steps and then go and do it and

Daniel Tolson:

they'll let, can you teach me?

Daniel Tolson:

So I started.

Daniel Tolson:

Coach people in watersports at age 14, by the age 16, I was coaching for one of

Daniel Tolson:

the top water ski is in the country who had a company called the greatest show

Daniel Tolson:

in Hightstown that travel all around the world, doing these screenshots.

Daniel Tolson:

And I used to go and coach for them when I was 16.

Daniel Tolson:

Couldn't even drive yet.

Daniel Tolson:

And so then in 1996, I was interviewed by a magazine called

Daniel Tolson:

Australian water skis news.

Daniel Tolson:

And it was the most prestigious magazine in the country.

Daniel Tolson:

And they asked me and my brother what our special skills were.

Daniel Tolson:

And I didn't know how to answer that question.

Daniel Tolson:

So my brother said, he's a good coach.

Daniel Tolson:

So today, uh, 2022, this is my 25th year of coaching.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'd been doing it for many years.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd taken that skill of coaching across Australia.

Daniel Tolson:

I took it to the UK.

Daniel Tolson:

I took it to America.

Daniel Tolson:

I took it to the United Arab Emirates and then in-between that

Daniel Tolson:

I'd started multiple businesses.

Daniel Tolson:

And then in 2007, I was cold over to Dubai to help an Englishman start

Daniel Tolson:

a business over there in my job.

Daniel Tolson:

To coach, to coach the locals, had a whiteboard and to

Daniel Tolson:

coach the expatriates Hale.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I lost my business when I was there.

Daniel Tolson:

I lost my job at my family business.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I was a, a lollipop man.

Daniel Tolson:

Now a lollipop man is somebody who holds a stop, slow sign and they direct traffic.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'd got to rock bottom.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I went back to Dubai, got a job with Emirates, airline,

Daniel Tolson:

uh, things were going well.

Daniel Tolson:

And then my wife was involved in an accident on a flight from

Daniel Tolson:

London, Gatwick back to Dubai.

Daniel Tolson:

And so she had an accident onboard the aircraft.

Daniel Tolson:

And then for two and a half years, she was in rehabilitation in surgery.

Daniel Tolson:

So after the two and a half years, uh, she fell pregnant, uh, then

Daniel Tolson:

just as she was pregnant, they resigned her from her position.

Daniel Tolson:

So she lost a job.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I had to make a choice.

Daniel Tolson:

Do I stay here being a senior flight steward and miss the birth of my daughter?

Daniel Tolson:

Or do I resign, got a Taiwan and start a business?

Daniel Tolson:

So I did the crazy thing.

Daniel Tolson:

I resigned, went to Taiwan, tried to start a business applied for 300 jobs.

Daniel Tolson:

And then by the end of that year, I was on social security

Daniel Tolson:

because I couldn't make any money.

Daniel Tolson:

And I went all the way back to Australia to get on social security.

Daniel Tolson:

So that, that's how I started my career as a coach.

Johnny:

I can see why mental resiliency is one of your wonderful

Johnny:

qualities that you focus so much on.

Johnny:

You would need a lot of it for those kinds of experiences.

Johnny:

I'm sure that people looking at it, he may be, you know, a lot of people get

Johnny:

into a bit of a victim mentality and there must've been, I guess there must

Johnny:

have been at least time when you are.

Johnny:

Why me, you know, that those kinds of things, we can't help

Johnny:

them, but you clearly didn't spend very much time in nothing.

Johnny:

But I think a lot of people do get this victim mentality about the world,

Johnny:

the universe, wherever is against me.

Johnny:

And then you hear stories like that as well.

Johnny:

You come through it and you not only come through it, but

Johnny:

you have become successful.

Johnny:

By those things happening in your life, or maybe to some degree you

Johnny:

decided to, because of those things that you would keep pushing through.

Johnny:

I mean, maybe they, they charged you up, but it gives you that thing of why

Johnny:

am I playing a victim in my own life?

Johnny:

When actually may be the things that I could see as being, having been

Johnny:

so bad or my rough journey, or maybe nothing in comparison to someone else's.

Daniel Tolson:

Well, I think the reality is I've always been my own worst enemy.

Daniel Tolson:

There is no law preventing you from having business success.

Daniel Tolson:

There is no law that prevents you from having relationship success.

Daniel Tolson:

There's no law that prevents you from having good health, lots of money.

Daniel Tolson:

We become our own worst enemy and I have always been my own worst enemy.

Daniel Tolson:

I've always got in my way.

Daniel Tolson:

It's me and my bullshit stories that have talked me out of doing the things

Daniel Tolson:

that I love, even when I've been down on the ground, rolling around with no cash.

Daniel Tolson:

I always was my own worst enemy, and I've known that my whole life, even

Daniel Tolson:

when I was wakeboarding, my brother was an Australian champion before me.

Daniel Tolson:

And he used to say to me, Dan, he goes, the only thing between

Daniel Tolson:

difference between me and you is you get caught up in your head.

Daniel Tolson:

You can do all of this if you want to.

Daniel Tolson:

And he used to say to me, you guys, if somebody turns the camera on, you

Daniel Tolson:

can go out there and do any trick in.

Daniel Tolson:

When the camera's on, but you want to do it when nobody's looking.

Daniel Tolson:

And so he'd tell me back then, you're on with sending me, you're a better writer

Daniel Tolson:

than all of us, but you're lonely too.

Daniel Tolson:

When the camera's on, you'll only do it when the pressure is on you

Daniel Tolson:

align only do it at the competition.

Daniel Tolson:

And I could, I could go win a competition with my training, but I couldn't do

Daniel Tolson:

the tricks when I was riding socially.

Daniel Tolson:

So.

Daniel Tolson:

Turn the camera on.

Daniel Tolson:

It was a different story.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I had to learn that through my nine year journey to become

Daniel Tolson:

an Australian champion, that I was always my own worst enemy.

Daniel Tolson:

And I even in business, it's always me who gets in my own way.

Daniel Tolson:

And so the resilience factor, not so much about the outside world,

Daniel Tolson:

it's about dealing with the mental and emotional blocks in here.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think all of us understand this.

Daniel Tolson:

When we start to get into our forties and fifties, we look around and go, it ain't.

Daniel Tolson:

Yeah, my brother and I, my sister, I'm my wife and I, my husband, it's

Daniel Tolson:

me resiliency at battling myself.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

Yeah, Hopefully we, get to those realizations.

Johnny:

I think that I do think that some people manage to get to their whole lives

Johnny:

without ever having those realizations, unfortunately, but, thankfully most of

Johnny:

us do and with coaching, I guess we, can have those kinds of realizations

Johnny:

even earlier, which would, which would be even better because I do think we

Johnny:

are nearly, always the things that stand between us and all our objective.

Johnny:

are self created their internal blocks rather than anything in

Johnny:

the external world, which is

Johnny:

a great thing

Daniel Tolson:

we, we, get angry at ourselves.

Daniel Tolson:

We resent ourself.

Daniel Tolson:

We get angry at that as we resent others.

Daniel Tolson:

And in 2009, I met a life coach and I was flying from Dubai to Manchester and

Daniel Tolson:

I was pushing the economy, uh, class, uh, trolley down the back and he stopped me.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, Hey, you got a.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, you said, I've got a great ass.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, no, no, no, you go to great aura said, I think you heard, I think

Daniel Tolson:

I heard, you said I've got to grad ass.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, no, you've got great.

Daniel Tolson:

Or, and I said, what's an aura.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, it's this it's this energy and light around you.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, you might need another gin and tonic.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, no, I don't drink.

Daniel Tolson:

I said, why not?

Daniel Tolson:

You guys on my life?

Daniel Tolson:

I said your life, what?

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, I'm my life coach.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, why don't you come down to the galley for conversation?

Daniel Tolson:

So I, one of the customers on the aircraft from Dubai to

Daniel Tolson:

Manchester, he was a life coach.

Daniel Tolson:

And I ended up hiring him after the flight.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, I'm going to fly back to Manchester.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'm going to work with you and you can help me overcome these

Daniel Tolson:

mental and emotional blockages.

Daniel Tolson:

And then when he flew from Dubai and from Manchester to Dubai,

Daniel Tolson:

I'd meet him at the airport and we'd go have a coaching session.

Daniel Tolson:

And it was the best thing for me.

Daniel Tolson:

So how did I get into coaching?

Daniel Tolson:

I had to deal with my own mental and emotional blockages first.

Daniel Tolson:

And then once I had that feeling of being free, I was like,

Daniel Tolson:

oh, I want this for everybody.

Daniel Tolson:

Yeah.

Daniel Tolson:

I feel so good.

Daniel Tolson:

I feel great.

Daniel Tolson:

How can I get this for others?

Daniel Tolson:

And so my coach at that time, Christophe, spiciness, he said, go and

Daniel Tolson:

learn this course, take that course.

Daniel Tolson:

And I was on my way to becoming a coach.

Johnny:

That's quiet and kind of you, because I'm the first life coach I ever

Johnny:

met was also a flight attendant with the airline I worked with and she was

Johnny:

the senior crew member on a flight.

Johnny:

And we were working together back to back flights for a whole week.

Johnny:

Um, uh, I think we were at that at least the first part of that

Johnny:

we were in Philadelphia and I was just chewing her ear off because

Johnny:

I'd never heard about this before.

Johnny:

And she was more than happy to talk about it.

Johnny:

And she gave me some books to read.

Johnny:

There was a bookshop near the hotel.

Johnny:

I went and got them.

Johnny:

I read the books by the end of the week and was already

Johnny:

asking her for, for more stuff.

Johnny:

And it's just, oh, okay.

Johnny:

That's an interesting, interesting paradigm.

Johnny:

Maybe, maybe there's a lot more life coaches in, in flying than

Johnny:

I, than I've given credit for.

Daniel Tolson:

It's the perfect place for it.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think what makes it the perfect place is when you cabin

Daniel Tolson:

crew, you are forced out of your comfort zone really fast.

Daniel Tolson:

So for me, an Emirates airline, you had 17,000 crew every day.

Daniel Tolson:

There was 17.

Daniel Tolson:

Crew members on our flight and would never see them again.

Daniel Tolson:

And you've got just a 30 minutes in the briefing room to start

Daniel Tolson:

to make your connections before takeoff, you got your galley.

Daniel Tolson:

And you're having your plate pre-flight briefing and you got to

Daniel Tolson:

make sure you create those bonds.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I think we learned to adapt, adjust and, respond to different

Daniel Tolson:

people, but we're also very tolerant and because you cipher at a comfort zone

Daniel Tolson:

and you know, you're not going to say a lot of these people again, whether

Daniel Tolson:

it be your customers or your crew.

Daniel Tolson:

I believe that we do vulnerability very well as Kevin.

Daniel Tolson:

Vulnerability, you open up your talk and then you move on and you're

Daniel Tolson:

never going to see those people.

Daniel Tolson:

So it's like having a beer at the pub with the boys.

Daniel Tolson:

You can have a beer,, you can have a whinge have a moan.

Daniel Tolson:

And you know, you're probably never going to see him again.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think that's what happens with crew.

Daniel Tolson:

You open up so fast.

Daniel Tolson:

Sometimes they open up too many things.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

And that's happened a few times as well.

Johnny:

So people, people like to overshare sometimes, but yeah, I agree.

Johnny:

I do think there is a, also one of the things.

Johnny:

that I feel I brought with me from that is in that, in that role, because

Johnny:

you are working with different people, pretty much every trip you go on, you

Johnny:

have to connect very quickly because you have to become cohesive as a team.

Johnny:

And.

Johnny:

They certainly does make a big difference.

Johnny:

If the person who's leading the team is, is, good and has a good energy

Johnny:

and, and inspires good leadership, and that doesn't always happen.

Johnny:

But it's amazing how people can suddenly come together and

Johnny:

click and connect very quickly.

Johnny:

And you get into the habit of doing that.

Johnny:

And I think part of that for me, is recognizing it was all almost an

Johnny:

assumption that you had to assume that you were going to get on with most of the

Johnny:

people that you already have, that thing.

Johnny:

Of being in the same job and doing the same kind of thing.

Johnny:

So, that was enough to get some very fast rapport in those situations.

Johnny:

And I think, I feel that I can connect in and create rapport very

Johnny:

quickly with people because of a lot of my experiences with it was

Johnny:

British Airways that I worked for.

Johnny:

But yeah, but it's a similar kind of experiences.

Daniel Tolson:

Hmm, that rapport piece is so important.

Daniel Tolson:

And what I learned from Emirates airline is that people are craving

Daniel Tolson:

good leadership and good leadership is also great communication.

Daniel Tolson:

The person or the manager set the vision, they set the expectation, they

Daniel Tolson:

communicated what they wanted, but they also listened to the needs of the crew.

Daniel Tolson:

And I ended up getting a reputation that people would.

Daniel Tolson:

That that would go into the swap shop and they'd give away

Daniel Tolson:

their nice New York flights.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd give away their Bangkok flights to come and do a 2:00 AM turnaround

Daniel Tolson:

with me to India to Bangalore.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'd ask them, what are you doing here?

Daniel Tolson:

They're like, oh, I swap the flight because I heard you were.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I saw people craving good leadership.

Daniel Tolson:

They also wanted recognition.

Daniel Tolson:

They didn't want to be a number in so many flights.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd been on years before I'd become a light at you would just a number.

Daniel Tolson:

Okay.

Daniel Tolson:

What's your staff number?

Daniel Tolson:

3 9 4 8 8 7.

Daniel Tolson:

Okay.

Daniel Tolson:

Rodney . And some of those letters will even refer to you as.

Daniel Tolson:

Hi, can you do this for, can you do that galley operator do this

Daniel Tolson:

and you think I've got a badge?

Daniel Tolson:

I've got a name.

Daniel Tolson:

If you just call me my name, I'll do anything for you.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I believe people are craving for this leadership.

Daniel Tolson:

They want to be spoken to politely, but also they want to be listened to.

Daniel Tolson:

And if we can listen to people, I believe that's superior communication.

Daniel Tolson:

I think there's people who can talk, talk, talk, but I don't know so

Daniel Tolson:

many people who can listen, listen.

Johnny:

I think this is one of the key skills in life and leadership and eh,

Johnny:

yeah, it's certainly something that comes up in the have to win friends and

Johnny:

influence people book more than once.

Johnny:

Some of your work is also around ETQ and behavioral profiles, right?

Johnny:

So it turns up about why you focus on that.

Daniel Tolson:

We have to learn to trust in science and I've come to that

Daniel Tolson:

conclusion because 95% of people claim to be emotionally intelligent yet only

Daniel Tolson:

10 to 15% are where are your memories?

Daniel Tolson:

Where I, your beliefs point to them.

Daniel Tolson:

Where are your decisions that you've made point to them?

Daniel Tolson:

All of this is invisible.

Daniel Tolson:

It's all invisible.

Daniel Tolson:

So with science, we can make the invisible, visible.

Daniel Tolson:

I remember years ago, six guys tried to kill me and they

Daniel Tolson:

got very close to killing me.

Daniel Tolson:

I ended up in hospital with a major operation and my left arm was snapped

Daniel Tolson:

in half and it looked like a right angle triangle, and it was just flopped over.

Daniel Tolson:

And the doctor said to me, your arm looks broken.

Daniel Tolson:

And I was like, yeah, no shit.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, we better do an x-ray.

Daniel Tolson:

And so albeit he could see the arm was broken.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, let's do an x-ray for confirmation.

Daniel Tolson:

He took the x-ray you can see it look like a right angle triangle.

Daniel Tolson:

And then he said, is that your arm?

Daniel Tolson:

I said, well, you just took the x-ray of course that's my arm.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, it looks.

Daniel Tolson:

And then we both agreed that it was broken.

Daniel Tolson:

And then he said, look, there's a couple of things we can do here.

Daniel Tolson:

Daniel, first thing is we can put a cast on the arm and we can try to let

Daniel Tolson:

the bone settle back in naturally.

Daniel Tolson:

Or we could do an operation.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, if we just let it settle in naturally after six weeks, we can have a

Daniel Tolson:

look at how it's set and if it hasn't set Ray properly, properly, we can break the.

Daniel Tolson:

Instead of properly.

Daniel Tolson:

I was like, I've got to wait six weeks.

Daniel Tolson:

Ain't going to break my arm again.

Daniel Tolson:

I said, what's the other option?

Daniel Tolson:

He said, we could just do an operation today.

Daniel Tolson:

Put two plates in there.

Daniel Tolson:

Four pins.

Daniel Tolson:

You'll be back on the water within 90 days.

Daniel Tolson:

What's best for you.

Daniel Tolson:

Now.

Daniel Tolson:

I looked at the x-ray for confirmation and I went, yeah, that's my arm.

Daniel Tolson:

It's snapped in half.

Daniel Tolson:

There's no way that thing's going to fix itself, operate on me straightaway.

Daniel Tolson:

And so what this means in, in my field is that people are struggling

Daniel Tolson:

to understand what their mental and emotional blockages are.

Daniel Tolson:

They've tried everything and they get to this stage where they say, I feel stuck.

Daniel Tolson:

And I don't know what to do next.

Daniel Tolson:

So they've tried everything that they know they've read the books

Daniel Tolson:

they've been to the podcast.

Daniel Tolson:

They've been to the trainings, but they're still stuck.

Daniel Tolson:

So this is when I introduced to them, the science of emotional

Daniel Tolson:

intelligence and we start to measure their emotional intelligence and we

Daniel Tolson:

can do it through a number of ways.

Daniel Tolson:

We can do assessments, looking at the five pillars of emotional intelligence.

Daniel Tolson:

We can have a look at their behaviors and we can measure that and we can have a look

Daniel Tolson:

at what drives them in their motivators.

Daniel Tolson:

We can look at their Hartman profiles and see how they make decisions.

Daniel Tolson:

We can even use artificial intelligence to measure the

Daniel Tolson:

brainwave frequencies in their voice.

Daniel Tolson:

Which today measures their emotional intelligence.

Daniel Tolson:

And once they see their behavioral styles, their patterns in science, because

Daniel Tolson:

they trust in the science, they look at it and it gives them confirmation.

Daniel Tolson:

It's not as if it's anything new Johnny, they go, that's exactly who I am.

Daniel Tolson:

Yeah.

Daniel Tolson:

My wife had a greater that one for sure.

Daniel Tolson:

I'm an absolute asshole.

Daniel Tolson:

That's me.

Daniel Tolson:

And they start to get confirmation.

Daniel Tolson:

So it just gives them that new level of awareness.

Daniel Tolson:

They know this.

Daniel Tolson:

But without confirmation in something that to articulate it, they can't

Daniel Tolson:

agree on it, but once they agree on it, they say, yes, that's me.

Daniel Tolson:

And then they can learn to improve.

Daniel Tolson:

So for me, six and a half thousand case studies on the science of

Daniel Tolson:

emotional intelligence and people look at the science and they go,

Daniel Tolson:

you know, this is phenomenal.

Daniel Tolson:

Everything that I thought about myself has just been

Daniel Tolson:

validated and then we can get to.

Johnny:

yeah, it's a, it's a valuable skill.

Johnny:

Is it?

Johnny:

I remember reading, I'm going to read a few books about emotional intelligence,

Johnny:

but I remember one particularly that really interested me was about, was about

Johnny:

intelligence in general and that we tend to, as society put far more weight on

Johnny:

IQ than EQ, but even then, those are not the only two kinds of intelligence

Johnny:

that there are, we all have different, different kinds of intelligence that get

Johnny:

very much underrated in, in our lives.

Johnny:

And I think it is useful for us really to.

Johnny:

get an understanding of w there.

Johnny:

Different skills, different talents in different areas that may not

Johnny:

be related to IQ, but still a very valuable and very needed.

Johnny:

And yet we get really focused on one metric we'll measure of what your IQ is.

Johnny:

And maybe now people are starting to get a little bit more

Johnny:

focused on what their EEQ is.

Johnny:

And I say, people, I agree with you that probably most people, I would maybe

Johnny:

even include myself on this, right.

Johnny:

That ETQ higher than it probably actually.

Johnny:

And having done a test on that I, that was proven to me after reading

Johnny:

that I'm pretty much be intelligent.

Johnny:

It took the Tesla.

Johnny:

Not as much as I thought.

Daniel Tolson:

if we think back to our previous careers in aviation,

Daniel Tolson:

nobody complimented me on my.

Daniel Tolson:

I wasn't hired

Johnny:

Yeah, same here.

Daniel Tolson:

I wasn't hired because I passed the test.

Daniel Tolson:

I was hired for my ability to get along with others.

Daniel Tolson:

And, and I remember this when I went to the open day in Sydney, they

Daniel Tolson:

weren't concerned about your IQ.

Daniel Tolson:

They didn't care about the certificate that you had, or you didn't have.

Daniel Tolson:

They wanted people who could get along with others.

Daniel Tolson:

And I remember that when I would be traveling, uh, when I'd be operating

Daniel Tolson:

in business class and first class millionaires people representing

Daniel Tolson:

billion dollar companies, and that say, Hey, Joe, you have great personality.

Daniel Tolson:

You're a nice person.

Daniel Tolson:

Thank you so much for your service.

Daniel Tolson:

Nobody said, Hey, you got a great IQ.

Daniel Tolson:

People want to be dealt with, and there's a platinum rule and we say,

Daniel Tolson:

treat others how they want to be treated.

Daniel Tolson:

There's a golden rule.

Daniel Tolson:

And it says, treat others how you want to be treated.

Daniel Tolson:

But the platinum rule says, treat others the way they want to be treated.

Daniel Tolson:

And people with emotional intelligence say, I know how I

Daniel Tolson:

want to be treated, but this person wants to be treated differently.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'm going to adapt, adjust, and respond.

Daniel Tolson:

And that's what our industry was all about.

Daniel Tolson:

It was about hospitality was about making that person feel awesome on

Daniel Tolson:

that flight from the moment they get on to the moment they get off.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I believe cabin crew and not all of them, but a lot of them develop

Daniel Tolson:

great emotional intelligence skills.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

I, I would agree.

Johnny:

You know, there's probably, there's probably similar reasons as to why I go

Johnny:

hard, as much as I might have tried to tell myself is because I say pretty, it

Johnny:

probably was more to do with sociability and, and personability, I think.

Johnny:

In fact, it's interesting that.

Johnny:

One of the key influence and persuasion principles from

Johnny:

Cialdini is the likability stuff.

Johnny:

And it's a thing that's actually been cropping up on a lot of recent episodes.

Johnny:

I think to find that in life flow, things just seem to crop up, but the

Johnny:

likeability thing has come up again and again recently, and, and we talked about.

Johnny:

NQ and other types of intelligence being underrated likability

Johnny:

is very underrated as well.

Johnny:

I think as a, as an influence tool.

Johnny:

And yet we, uh, you know, you hear people talking about relationship

Johnny:

marketing and that was more of a relationship economy now in terms

Johnny:

of doing business that likability factor is probably more important.

Johnny:

Ever in terms of having that, because if you don't, if people don't like

Johnny:

you, they're not going to want to work with you or buy your coaching or buy

Johnny:

products or have bookie for a speaking event and super, super critical factor.

Johnny:

But so undervalued.

Daniel Tolson:

We decided that a relationship takes time, a relationship

Daniel Tolson:

takes time because you've got to get to know that person, but

Daniel Tolson:

likeness and responsiveness is based on the autonomic nervous system.

Daniel Tolson:

So if you're, if you know, a key principle of rapport is matching

Daniel Tolson:

and mirroring somebody else, if you become like the other.

Daniel Tolson:

It's like birds of a feather flock together, like attracts, like, and

Daniel Tolson:

you can gain that within a matter of seconds, you can have that within

Daniel Tolson:

three to four seconds, but knowing somebody that can take a lifetime, like

Daniel Tolson:

even I've been married for maybe 11 years, been with my wife for 13 years.

Daniel Tolson:

I will never know her fully.

Daniel Tolson:

And it's going to take me a whole lifetime to know her, but I'll tell you what, the

Daniel Tolson:

moment I met her, I really liked her.

Daniel Tolson:

And it was that responsiveness was that easy, backwards, and forwards the flow.

Daniel Tolson:

It was even being uncomfortable in the side.

Daniel Tolson:

I didn't have to say anything.

Daniel Tolson:

I still felt comfortable that she didn't have to say anything

Daniel Tolson:

and I still felt comfortable.

Daniel Tolson:

And that's a key part of influence and persuasion.

Daniel Tolson:

And if we can't get that likeness, that responsiveness in the first

Daniel Tolson:

few moments, then nobody will ever listen to what we've got to say.

Daniel Tolson:

But again, like the opening question you asked me before,

Daniel Tolson:

is this a learnable skill?

Daniel Tolson:

Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson:

Absolutely.

Daniel Tolson:

You can learn it and you can.

Daniel Tolson:

And if you get really good at it, then you're welcomed anywhere.

Daniel Tolson:

And to just to highlight a point that you made there Johnny in

Daniel Tolson:

business, a lot of sales people don't understand the first sale is you.

Daniel Tolson:

Doesn't matter if you're promoting Louis Vuitton or Gucci or Chanel, if that

Daniel Tolson:

like you, they ain't going to buy it.

Daniel Tolson:

Y'all the first sale they got to buy you.

Daniel Tolson:

And if they buy you and they like, you they'll take anything.

Daniel Tolson:

That you can offer them on the backend.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

And w makes, which makes absolute sense.

Johnny:

I, I wonder, I wonder too many NLP trainers on the show.

Johnny:

I'm not sure quite why that is.

Johnny:

Cause this is something that I'm interested to talk about in terms

Johnny:

of influence and persuasion.

Johnny:

What are the elements of that?

Johnny:

What are the elements of

Johnny:

NLP for you that you feel perhaps the most important to learn and

Johnny:

most most valuable for people and you going to mention report?

Johnny:

What else?

Daniel Tolson:

Well, I know you've mentioned this on your podcast

Daniel Tolson:

before ethos, logos and pathos.

Daniel Tolson:

It's very easy to learn to how to.

Daniel Tolson:

But if you don't have the credibility as an individual, people won't listen to you.

Daniel Tolson:

So when I'm working with people in NLP, there's, there's no

Daniel Tolson:

shortcuts to creating credibility.

Daniel Tolson:

It takes you a lifetime to build up your credibility and you have to be consistent

Daniel Tolson:

with who you are onstage and offstage.

Daniel Tolson:

You gotta be consistent with who you are at the front end of the business

Daniel Tolson:

and the back end of the business.

Daniel Tolson:

And if there's any incongruency in there, people will reject.

Daniel Tolson:

So, yes, your message has got to be logically logical.

Daniel Tolson:

We can read any book on marketing today and we can just follow the formula.

Daniel Tolson:

We can emotionally size it and we can bring in the drama aspect

Daniel Tolson:

and that'll get us so far.

Daniel Tolson:

But if we don't have the ethics of character, nobody's going to listen to us.

Daniel Tolson:

So what I say to my NLP students, I say, you've got to develop, what's called

Daniel Tolson:

the, when Harry met Sally model of selling, people have to look at you in.

Daniel Tolson:

I want what you're having you look like you're having a great time.

Daniel Tolson:

You look like your confidence looks like your self-esteem

Daniel Tolson:

has gone through the roof.

Daniel Tolson:

I want a piece of that.

Daniel Tolson:

And once we get that, the second thing is we're going to be married to.

Daniel Tolson:

And it's like with me and my wife, every single day, we're working

Daniel Tolson:

on the marriage every morning.

Daniel Tolson:

I wake up beside her and I want to wake up beside her.

Daniel Tolson:

She wakes up beside me and she wants to wake up beside me.

Daniel Tolson:

When we get into business with our clients, we're also getting

Daniel Tolson:

into a marriage and we want to create an environment that our

Daniel Tolson:

clients are happy to wake up next to us and do business with us.

Daniel Tolson:

So we have to work on the ethics.

Daniel Tolson:

We've got to build our unique character and we have to be congruent with that

Daniel Tolson:

character, both in public and in private.

Daniel Tolson:

And that's my key teaching.

Daniel Tolson:

I'm not interested in sleight of mouth, any of that, because at the

Daniel Tolson:

end of the day, it doesn't work.

Daniel Tolson:

If you don't have credibility.

Daniel Tolson:

So just work on your credibility.

Johnny:

Yeah, those may be.

Johnny:

I used to do martial arts a lot more than I do now I can say.

Johnny:

And I always remember that, especially when I did some competitive events

Johnny:

that it was that the instructors would always say it was never

Johnny:

the flashy tricks and tools that.

Johnny:

Flashy moves that really won competitions.

Johnny:

It was always mastering the basics and having the practicing

Johnny:

those things again and again, and again, you master the basics.

Johnny:

You can win contests, You can win prizes with the basic, you don't

Johnny:

need all the other flashy bits and maybe it's the same really with it.

Johnny:

But then I think maybe the same with pretty much anything

Johnny:

in life, master the basics.

Johnny:

And then you're pretty much free to go where you need to go.

Daniel Tolson:

You got to master the basics.

Daniel Tolson:

And most people don't want to master that when I was an athlete, the same

Daniel Tolson:

thing in the sport of wakeboarding, everybody wanted to do the flip.

Daniel Tolson:

Everybody wanted to go upside down.

Daniel Tolson:

Everybody wanted to do a flip in a spin and nobody wanted

Daniel Tolson:

to learn just to jump over.

Daniel Tolson:

Just to do the basic grabs, just to do a 180, but the problem was they would go

Daniel Tolson:

out and they would do these big tricks and they'd do a front flip with a 180.

Daniel Tolson:

And when they landed on the water, they couldn't even get

Daniel Tolson:

back to the natural position.

Daniel Tolson:

And so they'd fall off.

Daniel Tolson:

And I used to see these guys coming to the sport and after two or three

Daniel Tolson:

years that were doing some of the hottest tricks, but after two or three

Daniel Tolson:

years, they hit their peak because they had none of the foundation.

Daniel Tolson:

There were none of the basics.

Daniel Tolson:

And I remember that with my brother, he got into the sport, he

Daniel Tolson:

could do all the biggest tricks, but he couldn't do the basics.

Daniel Tolson:

He found it really had to ride, switch stance so he could

Daniel Tolson:

do all the tricks left foot.

Daniel Tolson:

But when it came to doing the same trick, right foot forward, he couldn't do it.

Daniel Tolson:

So he was always limited where I'd learned those basics and I mastered

Daniel Tolson:

riding both ways and I used to drill it down, drill it down, drill it

Daniel Tolson:

down, and then familiar at the time.

Daniel Tolson:

I could just build on top of that.

Daniel Tolson:

So we're going to do the basics now, all Bruce Lee, quite, I'm

Daniel Tolson:

not afraid of a man, 10,000 kicks.

Daniel Tolson:

I'm afraid of a man who's practiced one kick 10,000 times.

Daniel Tolson:

And I believe the same thing.

Johnny:

Yeah, I think so too, I would think is perhaps for many people, one

Johnny:

of the biggest barriers to any kind of success in life is that everyone's just

Johnny:

looking for the shortcut, the instant method, the magic pill to get to where

Johnny:

they want to get to, whereas the reality.

Johnny:

The, even if you have that, it's not going to give you anything like

Johnny:

the same level of satisfaction or achievement as if you've actually

Johnny:

gone through the challenge of what it takes to make that happen yourself.

Johnny:

And I don't think that for most things in life, there aren't magic pills.

Johnny:

We can't download information or success from the matrix, like in

Johnny:

the films, you know, it's, uh, it just doesn't work that way.

Johnny:

So we have to take the long path.

Johnny:

But we're better for it.

Johnny:

And I think really is the only way that a, as much as we would like that to be

Johnny:

a shortcut, or there are things we can do to shorten the journey, but we can't

Johnny:

really take away the process of who we have to become in order to be, do

Johnny:

and create what we want in our lives.

Daniel Tolson:

One of my friends, Brian, Tracy, he said,

Daniel Tolson:

there's three types of success.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, the first one is the unsuccessful.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, the second type is the short term successful.

Daniel Tolson:

And then the third time, the third type of success is the success

Daniel Tolson:

that you get and keep forever.

Daniel Tolson:

And a lot of people are trying to get this five minutes of fame.

Daniel Tolson:

They think to themselves, if I can just get one clip on the television,

Daniel Tolson:

if I can just get one click to go viral on YouTube, it'll solve my.

Daniel Tolson:

For eternity, it doesn't.

Daniel Tolson:

And sometimes today with those people who become successful and stay successful

Daniel Tolson:

success for them takes 20 years.

Daniel Tolson:

I was reading something about Elon Musk before, Hey, if you

Daniel Tolson:

want to be successful work 80 to a hundred hours a week consistently,

Daniel Tolson:

and you'll become successful.

Daniel Tolson:

And so even these billionaires, it doesn't happen by luck.

Daniel Tolson:

It happens because they keep doing the same thing over and over again until

Daniel Tolson:

they get the result they're looking for.

Daniel Tolson:

And there's no shortcut.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

And as much as we, as much as we might wish it to be different.

Johnny:

But this is also a thing of People often don't want to accept that they don't

Johnny:

want to hear the truth of the things that the things worth having take hard work.

Johnny:

They take commitment, they take perseverance because people

Johnny:

want things to come easy.

Johnny:

But the stuff that comes easy, if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth having.

Johnny:

And so there's this whole paradox that comes with it as well as that,

Johnny:

the stuff that is worth having is not easy and it shouldn't be easy.

Johnny:

And you wouldn't appreciate it if it was it's a, it's a strange

Johnny:

world.

Daniel Tolson:

a good body.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd love to go to the gym months.

Daniel Tolson:

I'd love to eat a salad once and look like Superman, but it's going

Daniel Tolson:

to hurt to have those bodies and you've got to make sacrifice.

Johnny:

Yeah, absolutely.

Johnny:

Say there are there are some things that when we spoke before you mentioned

Johnny:

about some things that will help people to accelerate their accelerate,

Johnny:

their influence, and that there are four silent fears that people have.

Johnny:

Can you tell us a bit more about it?

Daniel Tolson:

All humans have for fears and we have them to a greater or lesser

Daniel Tolson:

extent, but it's the same type of fear.

Daniel Tolson:

The first fear that we face is a fear of being taken advantage of.

Daniel Tolson:

And I was working with a client the other day and he told me

Daniel Tolson:

how that showed up in his life.

Daniel Tolson:

He said, Daniel, I want to ask for.

Daniel Tolson:

I would like to ask for help, but I'm afraid that if I ask for help,

Daniel Tolson:

somebody's going to take advantage of me.

Daniel Tolson:

And I said, could you give me a couple of examples?

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, well, in my business, I do everything myself.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'm afraid that if I delegate it to somebody else, somebody's

Daniel Tolson:

going to do it better than me.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, I can't handle that.

Daniel Tolson:

I said, what's another example.

Daniel Tolson:

And he said, another example is I would love to bring in a consultant into my

Daniel Tolson:

business, but I'm afraid that they might.

Daniel Tolson:

And then take advantage of me.

Daniel Tolson:

They might take advantage of my situation and overcharge me.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think we've all experienced that before.

Daniel Tolson:

It's like, you want to call a plumber, but you think I'm going to call him and he's

Daniel Tolson:

going to charge me 800 quid for the job.

Daniel Tolson:

And I could just go down to the shops and fix it myself.

Daniel Tolson:

It's that fear of being taken advantage of the same thing comes up in relationships.

Daniel Tolson:

I was working with one lady in a program that I ran called relationship

Daniel Tolson:

recharge, and she said that she was so afraid that somebody was

Daniel Tolson:

going to take advantage of her.

Daniel Tolson:

So what she wouldn't do, she wouldn't talk about who she really was.

Daniel Tolson:

She wouldn't talk about her dreams and her hopes and her desires.

Daniel Tolson:

Although she wanted a relationship, the fear of being taken advantage of

Daniel Tolson:

was greater than the desire for the relationship, so that held her back.

Daniel Tolson:

The second one, and this really comes up in influence and persuasion.

Daniel Tolson:

It's we fear rejection.

Daniel Tolson:

We so desperately want to be accepted, but we fear rejection and people say,

Daniel Tolson:

well, I don't really fear rejection.

Daniel Tolson:

Well, there's something under that.

Daniel Tolson:

It's the fear of being judged.

Daniel Tolson:

And they talk about judgment in the Bible.

Daniel Tolson:

Nobody wants to be judged.

Daniel Tolson:

I know when I go down to the gym and because of COVID all been sitting

Daniel Tolson:

for too long in my belly is not the shape that I want it to be.

Daniel Tolson:

And I would hate for somebody to judge me on my body shape right now, when I'm

Daniel Tolson:

at the gym, doing my best to work it off.

Daniel Tolson:

So nobody wants to be judged.

Daniel Tolson:

The third one is a fear of losing stability.

Daniel Tolson:

And I also see this when people learn persuasion techniques, when they're

Daniel Tolson:

learning to communicate better, they say, well, I've always done it this way.

Daniel Tolson:

And what if I start to speak differently?

Daniel Tolson:

What if I speak loud?

Daniel Tolson:

What if I speak more eloquently, who am I that people going to accept me?

Daniel Tolson:

It's so far out of my comfort zone.

Daniel Tolson:

I don't want to stand up on stage.

Daniel Tolson:

I want to fly under the radar.

Daniel Tolson:

So they have this fear.

Daniel Tolson:

And then what happens is they slowly move out of the comfort zone and then the

Daniel Tolson:

self-sabotage kicks in and they get pulled straight back into the comfort of time.

Daniel Tolson:

And so fear of losing their stability, it's moving from the known to the unknown

Daniel Tolson:

and they essentially fear the future.

Daniel Tolson:

I don't know where I'm going.

Daniel Tolson:

I don't know what's going to happen.

Daniel Tolson:

I can handle that.

Daniel Tolson:

And the fourth one, which all of us have experienced to a greater or lesser degree.

Daniel Tolson:

It's a fear of trying and filing.

Daniel Tolson:

What if I try and file?

Daniel Tolson:

What if I make a mistake?

Daniel Tolson:

What if I'm not prepared enough?

Daniel Tolson:

What if there is something else to know before I begin, if I kind of do what 110.

Daniel Tolson:

I ain't going to do it at all.

Daniel Tolson:

If I can't become a millionaire today, well, I'm not even

Daniel Tolson:

going to start a business.

Daniel Tolson:

And so we get this fear of trying and failing and those

Daniel Tolson:

four fears we must attend to.

Daniel Tolson:

So if we've got all the knowledge, if we've got all the skill,

Daniel Tolson:

shouldn't we be successful?

Daniel Tolson:

Well, if the fee is coming, we won't use all the tools that.

Daniel Tolson:

And we're held back by those full silent fees.

Daniel Tolson:

And I've been a victim of all of them.

Daniel Tolson:

They're not going away.

Daniel Tolson:

And I remember with my speaking cream, I used to hide behind the curtain

Daniel Tolson:

on the aircraft and do my PA because I was afraid to make a mistake.

Daniel Tolson:

And then I went from doing the PA behind the curtain to doing a PA to economy.

Daniel Tolson:

So doing a PA to the entire aircraft and then to do a small stage and a big stage.

Daniel Tolson:

But if I hop onto a stage today in front of a thousand people doing a live event

Daniel Tolson:

here in Taiwan, I still feel judgment.

Daniel Tolson:

I still fear being rejected.

Daniel Tolson:

It's always there, but I've got to move forward at despite of those fears.

Daniel Tolson:

I got to keep moving forward.

Daniel Tolson:

I've got to learn to, uh, manage those emotions.

Daniel Tolson:

And if I do want to succeed, but if I don't, it's the emotion that's gets

Daniel Tolson:

better than me and going all the way back to what I said before I am my own

Daniel Tolson:

worst enemy, then they're my fears.

Daniel Tolson:

And I'll lay by the come them or they'll overcome me.

Johnny:

Did do you feel like that for yourself?

Johnny:

There's a personal mission that you have that helps power you

Johnny:

through those kinds of obstacles.

Daniel Tolson:

Well, one I'm very competitive.

Daniel Tolson:

I hate to lose.

Daniel Tolson:

But I'm not competing against anybody else.

Daniel Tolson:

The competition is against me.

Daniel Tolson:

It's to see how far I can go.

Daniel Tolson:

It's to see far, see how high I can climb.

Daniel Tolson:

So I'm very competitive with my.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I'm always pushing the boundaries of what I think I can achieve.

Daniel Tolson:

So I set the bar high and then I learn what I need to learn.

Daniel Tolson:

I get the skills and then I work on my attitude.

Daniel Tolson:

So I make sure my inner compass is heading in the right direction.

Daniel Tolson:

And along the way, I'd say 99% of the times.

Daniel Tolson:

And I keep failing, failing, failing until I figure it out.

Daniel Tolson:

And then bang.

Daniel Tolson:

Yes, I get the success.

Daniel Tolson:

And then another part of my personality is I get bored really easy and I love drama.

Daniel Tolson:

So what do I do?

Daniel Tolson:

I set a bigger goal and create more problems in my life and

Daniel Tolson:

go and solve another problem.

Daniel Tolson:

So the competition is against myself.

Daniel Tolson:

I look at other people's.

Daniel Tolson:

But I always calibrate on the people who are more successful than me.

Daniel Tolson:

I don't look over to the people who are at a lower level of success.

Daniel Tolson:

I look at the high ones and I think, well, what are they doing?

Daniel Tolson:

And what can I learn from them?

Daniel Tolson:

And how can I get closer to what they're doing?

Daniel Tolson:

So I compare up than down.

Daniel Tolson:

Now that's a problem because oftentimes I'll look down on myself, but I'm also

Daniel Tolson:

inspiring, aspiring for greatness.

Daniel Tolson:

So a couple of little conflicts there, but the competition is against.

Johnny:

W something perhaps that we, that we all lose track of, but

Johnny:

it, I think it's true that where you focus on is important, who you

Johnny:

spend time with is important as well.

Johnny:

Right?

Johnny:

And so spending time, ideally with people who are more successful than

Johnny:

you is a good thing to be doing.

Johnny:

Not that you have to cut is not joining a cult.

Johnny:

You don't have to cut everyone else out of your life, but you do need

Johnny:

to make sure that those people are there, who can help pull you up and

Johnny:

give you something to aspire to.

Johnny:

And then you, when you can, when we can see how other people are living

Johnny:

and showing up in their lives, we get a better sense of how we need

Johnny:

to be showing up in our lives.

Johnny:

If we want to achieve similar results.

Daniel Tolson:

Well for me, I have a belief that a million people woke

Daniel Tolson:

up this morning, feeling state.

Daniel Tolson:

And not knowing what to do next.

Daniel Tolson:

So as part of a coach, what I have to do is I have to go out and

Daniel Tolson:

achieve the results that my clients.

Daniel Tolson:

In their life.

Daniel Tolson:

So what I aspire to be as a leader.

Daniel Tolson:

So they say, well, if Daniel can do it and he's had learning disabilities,

Daniel Tolson:

if he didn't go to school, he's had multiple operations and he bounced back

Daniel Tolson:

from all of that, then I can do it.

Daniel Tolson:

So I want to teach them resiliency, but I have to live that every single day.

Daniel Tolson:

My clients come to me because they're stuck in a comfort zone.

Daniel Tolson:

If I'm stuck in my comfort zone, how can I confidently, how can

Daniel Tolson:

I tell them, honestly, that you can get out of your company?

Daniel Tolson:

So I have to keep pushing the bar forward and have to keep moving

Daniel Tolson:

the needle forward for myself.

Daniel Tolson:

And so when the clients look at the main, they say, Hey, I want

Daniel Tolson:

to learn emotional intelligence for somebody who it's working for.

Daniel Tolson:

And I had one client many years ago, she said to me, she said, Daniel,

Daniel Tolson:

I want to learn from the results.

Daniel Tolson:

Not the client.

Daniel Tolson:

She said, there's a lot of people climbing up the ladder, but you have climbed up

Daniel Tolson:

the ladder and you've got the result.

Daniel Tolson:

I want that.

Daniel Tolson:

So it was part of my mission.

Daniel Tolson:

I have to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Daniel Tolson:

And to me, I work with self-made millionaires.

Daniel Tolson:

I've got clients who are billionaires and they come and hire me for my attitude.

Daniel Tolson:

They go, I like you.

Daniel Tolson:

They never asked me about my school certificate or my university,

Daniel Tolson:

or they say, I like you.

Daniel Tolson:

I like your attitude.

Daniel Tolson:

Can you come and teach?

Daniel Tolson:

so that's my duty and I've got to do that every day.

Johnny:

That's fantastic.

Johnny:

Some people who are tuning in maybe wondering about how they could come and

Johnny:

work with you or what they could learn from you and may be, especially after what

Johnny:

has been a very enjoyable conversation.

Johnny:

Maybe thinking that way, just be great to connect with you.

Johnny:

What is the best way for them to do that?

Daniel Tolson:

I have a masterclass every Monday night here in Taiwan.

Daniel Tolson:

It's about 8:00 PM here in, Taiwan's probably around about nine or

Daniel Tolson:

10:00 AM in the morning in the UK.

Daniel Tolson:

And it's called Unleashed Master Class and I'm really teaching three things.

Daniel Tolson:

How do I overcome your fears, your doubts and your limiting beliefs.

Daniel Tolson:

And I believe that if we can overcome these, then we can

Daniel Tolson:

start to accelerate our impact.

Daniel Tolson:

And I've found that out in my life from doing sports, the difference

Daniel Tolson:

between me and my brother, he become an Australian champion six years before

Daniel Tolson:

I did, he had overcome his fears.

Daniel Tolson:

I hadn't.

Daniel Tolson:

I had doubts about my ability.

Daniel Tolson:

He didn't, I had limiting beliefs and I had all these

Daniel Tolson:

reasons why I couldn't succeed.

Daniel Tolson:

And he had none of them and have become an Australian champion

Daniel Tolson:

athlete and it took me nine years.

Daniel Tolson:

And so what I've learned on my journey, if we can overcome those fears,

Daniel Tolson:

doubts, and limiting beliefs, then we can unleash our full potential.

Daniel Tolson:

So it's unleashed masterclass.com and it's every Monday.

Johnny:

Great.

Johnny:

Oh, that's great.

Johnny:

That'd be a link for that in the show notes it's for anyone who wants to go and

Johnny:

check that out, I highly recommend it.

Johnny:

You, I wonder for you, what are the books that if anyone comes and says to you,

Johnny:

Daniel, can you recommend me a good Book.

Johnny:

What should I read?

Johnny:

What's going to help my life.

Johnny:

What will what's made an impact on you?

Johnny:

What are the books?

Daniel Tolson:

I was given a book in 1999 by my mentor in that it

Daniel Tolson:

was called maximum achievement.

Daniel Tolson:

And it was written by Brian Tracy and in the inside cover.

Daniel Tolson:

My mentor, who was my uncle Johnny said to Daniel, This is your blueprint of success.

Daniel Tolson:

And I read that book and I applied what was in it.

Daniel Tolson:

And my life quickly took off.

Daniel Tolson:

I become a three-time state champion athlete.

Daniel Tolson:

I competed in extreme games as an Australian champion athlete.

Daniel Tolson:

I bought my first two investment properties before age 20.

Daniel Tolson:

I traveled the world by age 22, and this book became my personal

Daniel Tolson:

Bible and I seek to apply everything that I learned in there.

Daniel Tolson:

Now the most fascinating part Johnny was that the author was Brian Tracy.

Daniel Tolson:

And then in 2016, I ended up having a business with Brian Tracy,

Daniel Tolson:

and I'd travel around the world, uh, facilitating his programs.

Daniel Tolson:

And so I read the book and applied it and then ended up

Daniel Tolson:

doing business together with him.

Daniel Tolson:

Great book Maximum Achievement.

Johnny:

Yeah, fantastic.

Johnny:

I, Brian is probably one of the first people who I ever bought a course from

Johnny:

it, personal development course and program, which I, which I still have.

Johnny:

And it was very valuable and Sandy is certainly somebody who's

Johnny:

very well respected and I've talked to in the industry too.

Johnny:

Great recommendation.

Johnny:

For you personally, what is your influence and persuasion?

Johnny:

Superpower I realise there might be more than one thing to choose from, but

Johnny:

what would you call your superpower?

Daniel Tolson:

My superpower would be creating what's called

Daniel Tolson:

an unconditional positive regard.

Daniel Tolson:

And this is a state in psychology where the person that you're speaking with

Daniel Tolson:

feels no sense of judgment whatsoever.

Daniel Tolson:

So my job is to create this unconditional positive regard and it's a safe space.

Daniel Tolson:

And as my clients communicate within this safe space, they ended up having the

Daniel Tolson:

Freudian slip and they feel so comfortable

Daniel Tolson:

talking to me because there's no judgment that they let the cat out of the bag.

Daniel Tolson:

They start to tell me the things that they don't tell their husbands,

Daniel Tolson:

their wives, their mums, and dads.

Daniel Tolson:

And then they look at me and they say, I can't believe I just told you that.

Daniel Tolson:

And I say, thank you so much.

Daniel Tolson:

Please keep going.

Daniel Tolson:

And all of a sudden, they let out all of those obstacles and it's called

Daniel Tolson:

an unconditional positive regard.

Daniel Tolson:

It comes by matching and mirroring.

Daniel Tolson:

It comes through changing and modulating, your tone, your pace, your tempo.

Daniel Tolson:

It comes through with the way that you nod your head.

Daniel Tolson:

When people are talking it's to do with where you position

Daniel Tolson:

your eyes when they're talking.

Daniel Tolson:

And I think the most important thing is a lot of people make

Daniel Tolson:

a lot of direct eye contact

Daniel Tolson:

but one key takeaway, ladies and gentleman, the eyes aren't

Daniel Tolson:

talking, the mouth is talking.

Daniel Tolson:

So remember to look at people's mouth when they speak, and that will really

Daniel Tolson:

help you with your communication.

Johnny:

Definitely.

Johnny:

Well that Daniel there's sometimes it's just so sad when a

Johnny:

conversation comes through in three, because he wanted to continue.

Johnny:

This is one, one of those occasions.

Johnny:

If there is just one thing that you hope people will take away

Johnny:

above everything else, hopefully they will get from this chat.

Johnny:

What do you hope that.

Daniel Tolson:

That all world champions have a coach.

Daniel Tolson:

All world champions.

Daniel Tolson:

If you've watched the Olympics, every Olympic athlete has a coach.

Daniel Tolson:

If you watch the premier league football, everybody has a coach.

Daniel Tolson:

And if you want to perform at your best, then go and get a coach, go to

Daniel Tolson:

a training, get a personal coach, join a group coaching program and learn

Daniel Tolson:

from somebody who's got the result.

Daniel Tolson:

And what can happen is you can get 10 years of information

Daniel Tolson:

inside of one seminar.

Daniel Tolson:

It can shave 10 years off your life.

Daniel Tolson:

I was on social security.

Daniel Tolson:

I had absolutely no money.

Daniel Tolson:

I went and got some great mentors and then my life took off in

Daniel Tolson:

a totally different direction.

Daniel Tolson:

And coming to a seminar, getting a coach, is it just

Daniel Tolson:

accelerates that impact so fast.

Daniel Tolson:

You can get decades of knowledge in days and it'll transform your life.

Daniel Tolson:

Get a coach, join a program.

Daniel Tolson:

I get a mentor.

Daniel Tolson:

That'll change.

Johnny:

great advice.

Johnny:

Daniel Tolson.

Johnny:

Thank you so much for coming and joining me on the show.

Johnny:

It's been a wonderful chat and thank you for being my guest.

Daniel Tolson:

Thanks Johnny.

Johnny:

Thanks for tuning in.

Johnny:

I hope you've enjoyed the show.

Johnny:

If you happen to have your device in your hand right now, and you're

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on Apple Podcast, please make sure you press the plus sign on the shows

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green to make sure you are following us for future episodes, and you can

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follow us on Spotify or other channels.

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And it would also make my day, if you left a rating, a five star rating

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for the show and tell us what you love about Speaking Influence, and

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maybe even what you'd like to see.

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In the future, getting feedback as a show host is a real treat

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and it also helps to show others what people are enjoying about.

Johnny:

Next week, I'm bringing you a fantastic guests, an amazing chat.

Johnny:

I got to have this week with none other than Mr.

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U preneur himself, Chris Ducker.

Johnny:

So he don't know who Chris is.

Johnny:

You should definitely check him out.

Johnny:

He has the Youpreneur podcast, which is an amazing podcast that I listen to

Johnny:

a lot and he has his book, the rise of the Youpreneur and the whole ecosystem

Johnny:

built around his Youpreneur products.

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He's one of my mentors.

Johnny:

He is a great guy to speak to, and I've got a lot of value myself from the

Johnny:

conversation I got to have with him.

Johnny:

And I'm looking forward to getting to share that with you too.

Johnny:

So make sure you tune in next time for my chat with Chris and do keep an eye

Johnny:

out for some other changes and things coming up with the show very soon,

Johnny:

wherever you're going, whatever you're doing, have an amazing rest of your week.

Johnny:

I look forward to connecting with you again on another

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About the Podcast

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Present Influence
The podcast that helps professional communicators learn the skills that increase influence, impact and authority.

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About your host

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John Ball

John Ball is a keynote coach and professional speaker on a mission to help upcoming leaders master their communication, create impact and stand out as experts in their field.
John left the high life of his flying career to do something more meaningful to him and has since worked with several leading personal and professional development organisations as a lead coach and trainer.
The heart of everything John does involves helping people shift to personal responsibility and conscious awareness of how they show up and perform in every situation, whilst equipping them with the tools to be exceptional.
John also co-hosts The Coaching Clinic Podcast with his great friend and colleague Angie Besignano.
He lives in the beautiful city of Valencia, Spain with his husband and often visits the UK and US for speaking and training engagements. When he's not speaking or podcasting, he's likely to be out swimming, kayaking or enjoying time with friends.

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