Episode 209
Mind Magic: Mentalism Secrets For Influence & Engagement with Keith Kong
Mastering Influence From The Stage: Insights from Professional Mentalist Keith Kong
Summary
In this episode of Present Influence, host John Ball interviews professional mentalist Keith Kong about the psychology of influence and mentalism. Keith shares insights on how to engage audiences, the planning process for his shows, and the subtle techniques he uses to gauge and influence his audience. He also discusses the similarities between mentalism and speaking, emphasises the importance of preparation, and explores the role of hypnosis and NLP in his work. Listeners are treated to practical tips on tonality, body language, and audience interaction to elevate their communication and presentation skills.
Visit https://www.kongmentalist.com/ to learn more about Keith and his shows.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Influence and Hypnosis
00:24 Meet Keith Kong: The Professional Mentalist
01:46 The Art of Mentalism and Performance
03:27 Planning and Structuring a Show
08:34 Engaging the Audience
15:45 Psychology and Mentalism Insights
25:49 Understanding Everyday Hypnosis
26:25 The Reality of Hypnotherapy
27:04 Negative Responses to Hypnosis
29:53 Techniques and Applications of Hypnosis
32:19 The Importance of Tonality in Communication
34:24 Body Language and Stage Presence
38:59 Upcoming Projects and Events
41:44 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
Go to presentinfluence.com to take the Speaker Strengths Quiz and discover your greatest strengths as a speaker as well as where to focus for growth. For speaking enquiries or to connect with me, you can email john@presentinfluence.com or find me on LinkedIn
Thanks for listening, and please give the show a 5* review if you enjoyed it.
Transcript
How well do you understand influence?
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:Do you know the triggers that nearly
all of us tend to react to and
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:respond to in exactly the same way?
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:Do you know how to keep a room
full of people energized when
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:you're giving a presentation?
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:Do you know how to use some of the
tools of hypnosis to work to your
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:advantage ? Is hypnosis even a real thing?
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:Well, we're gonna get into it
today with my guest, Keith Kong.
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:Keith is a professional mentalist, and
if you don't know what a mentalist is,
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:think somebody like Derren Brown, you
know, tricks of the mind playing with
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:psychology and leveraging that in a way
to either be kind of mind reading people
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:or influencing people to do things
or react to respond in certain ways.
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:If you've ever seen professional magicians
and comedians, Penn and Teller, they have
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:a TV show called Fool Me and Keith was a
winner of that show with his mentalism.
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:So.
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:You know that he's good.
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:And he very kindly came and joined
me in the Present Influence studios
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:to talk about some of the psychology
of influence and persuasion, how to
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:use that in presentations and even
how to use some of the entertainment
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:skills of being a professional stage
mentalist to help you be better on
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:stage as a speaker and communicator.
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:These are all things that you're not
gonna wanna miss in today's episode, so.
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:It is packed full of lots of really
useful tools and tips from Keith.
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:Welcome to Present Influence the
show for professional communicators
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:who want to influence, impact,
and inspire with their talks.
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:My name's John Ball and I'm your
guide on this journey to mastery
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:level communication skills.
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:Keith, thank you so much for coming
and joining me in the virtual studio.
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:It is great to be with you today.
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:Keith Kong: Yeah, it's great to be here.
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:Thanks for having me, John.
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:John: I wanted to kick things off
since you are a professional mentalist,
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:by making sure that our listener
is gonna know what a mentalist
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:is and what a mentalist does, so
that we can fully understand why.
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:I was maybe so excited to have
you come on the show today.
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:Keith Kong: Yeah, absolutely.
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:A mentalist is like a
professional mind reader.
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:If you think of a magician as someone that
does sleight of hand, think of a mentalist
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:as someone that does sleight of mind.
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:So for example, it's a branch of magic.
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:But it's a specialty think general
practitioner compared to a neurosurgeon.
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:And neurosurgeon is a good metaphor
here because it's all about
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:the mind, all about the brain.
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:You're never gonna see me make things
vanish or levitate or that sort of
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:thing, but instead, I'm gonna be
making predictions and reading minds.
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:And this all happens on a stage,
speaking from the platform, typically
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:at corporate, high-end, private
events and that sort of thing.
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:It's all entertainment.
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:I don't claim to be a psychic or
anything like that, but it's a slightly
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:more sophisticated form of magic.
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:John: And so you are never really just
gonna get on stage and just mumble or
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:murmur to your audience right there.
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:There's gotta be a bit of a
wow factor with what you do.
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:I should think I.
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:Keith Kong: Yeah, absolutely.
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:I think that I.
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:At a, at an advantage here because,
and I think magicians in general are
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:because we already start with a miracle.
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:Like the thing that you have
to do is already supposed
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:to be impossible and wowing.
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:So now you have that headstart.
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:But of course, it doesn't mean that you
can just go up there and do that thing.
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:You still need to know how to speak
and rehearse and know what you're
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:gonna say and how to present.
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:But absolutely, to answer
your question, yeah, the wow
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:factor always has to be there.
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:John: And so ju just 'cause I'm genuinely
curious when you are planning a show,
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:when you're putting your act together,
and I imagine maybe you have more than
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:one act that you performed over time.
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:Is that something that.
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:Very carefully plan the
position like we had.
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:We have to start with this big opening,
close with this specific opening.
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:Make sure we keep hit
some beats along the way.
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:All that kind of thing.
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:It's just give us a little insight
into your planning process for a show.
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:Keith Kong: So for me the answer is yes.
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:I know performers that say,
oh, I just go up there and
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:John: Okay.
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:Keith Kong: up to the venue and be like,
I don't even know what I'm gonna do yet.
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:I'm just gonna feel it out.
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:And I, that, to me, that terrifies me.
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:I want to have a plan going in.
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:I feel like it better prepares me, and
at the very least, I want bookends.
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:I want to know that I'm gonna start
strong and I'm gonna end strong.
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:Because shows that start
well tend to end well.
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:So it's really important that I
hit the opening mark, deliver those
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:lines, and then, yeah, we, or me
in particular, and a lot of us put
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:thought into the structure of the show.
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:do we add texture?
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:How do we make it so that it's different?
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:For example, when you see a comedian.
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:go, and the jokes all interweave.
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:And at the end of the night, if you try to
tell someone about the show and you try to
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:tell them a joke, it's difficult sometimes
because the jokes have callbacks and
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:they come in and go throughout the show.
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:Whereas sometimes you go and see a
magic show or a mentalist and it's
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:there's a trick, there's another
trick, there's another trick.
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:And so I put a lot of thought into how I
weave it, how I make it a cohesive show,
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:and not just magic for the sake of magic.
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:John: I guess in my head I'm
picturing like someone like Darren
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:Brown, who I imagine know is
probably the only mentalist I've
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:actually been to see in a theater.
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:But those shows are undoubtedly
very well planned and probably
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:months in preparation.
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:So just in my head, that's when it makes
sense to me, but it's a lot like speakers.
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:Speak a lot of speakers really want to
be very well prepared, have everything
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:planned out, know what they, how they're
gonna open, how they're gonna close,
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:have everything so that you can have
things that call back to other things
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:or things that use the right metaphors
within that, the kinds of elements that
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:are just very hard to do on the fly
to improvise them into that, that do
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:require a bit of finessing and planning.
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:So I like that particularly
that you do that and, yeah.
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:Keith Kong: don't think they
should be mutually exclusive.
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:I think that by being prepared
and having those talk tracks and
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:knowing where I'm going, it also
allows me to live in the moment.
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:And if something organically happens
in the room, then I can comment on it.
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:I can break away from that script or
talk track, address it, and be in the
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:moment, and then I can get right back
on track and know where I left off
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:and get everything back on the rails.
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:So I think that it is important to
live in the moment and have those
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:moments with your audience, but
being prepared also helps with that.
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:John: Yeah, that makes total sense
to me because if you are improvising
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:the whole thing and like maybe you
know you stuff really well, ah, I
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:just get up there and do whatever.
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:I feel like in the moment you
do have to be giving mental
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:energy to what's coming next.
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:What am I gonna go into next?
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:How am I gonna lead into that?
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:Whereas prepared show allows you as the
flexibility, again very similar I think
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:to, to speaking and to some degree into
into comedy as well, because even great.
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:Comedy improvisers have done so
many reps of improvisation that they
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:pretty much just know where to go
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:with improv, though, they have put
in hours or months or even years of
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:preparation to be able to go and do that.
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:Even if you don't know exactly where
the improv is necessarily gonna go.
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:Keith Kong: Yeah.
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:Then the other thing is sometimes you see
guys that are so rigid in structure that
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:it just comes across as insincere because
they're not living in the moment at all.
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:They're just saying jokes and
they're speeding past them, as
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:if they're not in the moment.
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:So it's a really fine line.
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:It's, I think it's an important balance.
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:John: Yeah you got into
magic pretty early.
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:When you were a kid, did you
have those natural performance
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:elements then, or is that something
that you've developed over time?
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:Keith Kong: I think I had a little
bit of a knack for it, but it was
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:definitely something that developed
over time when I started working
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:with consultants and because I was
the guy that would get up there with
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:that natural talent and wing it.
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:It went great.
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:People liked it and stuff like that,
but I'm really glad that I didn't
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:stay in that space and I started
putting more thoughts into everything.
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:Like why we do everything that we
do in the show, if it's not adding
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:to the show, it's taking away.
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:So I want to say everything
that needs to be said in as few
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:words as necessary to say them.
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:And also while evoking emotion
and getting people to remember
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:it and digest it in an easy.
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:In an easy way to do
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:John: yeah.
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:What I mean, I know what you do
is not the same as what I do as
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:a speaker and I'm sure you would
have no trouble transitioning to
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:doing something like that though.
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:But what kind of ideas or as a
concept do you have in mind for
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:how to keep an audience engaged
throughout the whole of a show?
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:Keith Kong: A few things
come to mind instantly.
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:Visuals.
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:Stories and things like
that get them thinking.
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:I would say things that are also
involving the audience hands-on.
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:So you asked about the
structure to my show.
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:I like as early as possible in
the show, get everybody involved.
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:We call it a macro effect, but if I
can get everyone in the audience to
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:stand up or participate in some kind
of way, now you're in the show and that
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:just, it makes it, harder to drift
off and get lost in a conversation if
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:you're actually the center of the show.
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:And now, if from an early point in the
show you are affected and you experienced
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:something pretty impossible, pretty crazy,
now you're more likely to be invested
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:and along for the rest of the ride.
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:John: Gotcha.
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:And so I think as there's something
to learn from that in terms of having
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:a level of audience interaction
and interactivity in what you do.
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:I hear a lot of people now in the speaking
world talk about they want more audience
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:interaction, and some people interpret
that to be more like having a workshop
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:activity in a keynote speech, which I
generally think is a bad idea, but enough
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:interaction that they're doing something
as you said, sta get them to stand up, get
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:'em to be involved and be a part of it.
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:Raise, raise their hands, shout
something out, what's something
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:that actually has them involved
in what's going on so that they're
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:not just passive observers anymore.
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:And I think that's a
really key part in this.
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:Keith Kong: And it doesn't
have to be something long.
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:I do like workshops a lot because I
feel like we can get everyone involved
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:easily and we can make things happen
that are really transformative.
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:But if you can do something transformative
from the platform, even better
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:because it's got that same effect.
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:If I can take you through a transformation
opposed to just showing you from a
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:textbook or this study said that, but
if you can actually experience it and.
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:Say, for example, do something that you
thought was impossible a few moments
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:ago, and now in you're able to do that
thing, which is, it is a real example.
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:It's a thing that I have done
in different presentations.
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:It's so powerful.
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:Everybody in the room talks about
it, and now they leave with this
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:transformative skill that they
can put into practice immediately.
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:John: How, roughly how long
would a show of like yours be
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:when someone comes to see you?
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:Keith Kong: It varies when you say,
when someone comes to see me, it's
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:difficult because I primarily perform at
corporate events where they bring me in,
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:John: Okay.
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:Keith Kong: ranges from anywhere from 15
minutes as a human caffeine sort of event
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:energizer in the morning all the way to a
60 minute after dinner entertainment show.
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:But I think the sweet spot, most clients
bring me in for about 45 minutes.
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:John: Okay, great.
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:So again, lots of similarities
to this, to the professional
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:speaking world with that as well.
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:What for you are some of the key
elements or key ways that you then keep
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:people engaged throughout a 45 minute
to 60 minute presentation or event?
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:Keith Kong: With me.
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:One thing that's really great is because
it's a mind reading show, people's
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:favorite topic tends to be themselves.
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:themselves and their own thoughts
and what it means and their
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:feelings and things like that.
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:So if I'm reading your mind, you
are now the star of the show.
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:And not only that, if I'm telling
you that I can tell you what the
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:person sat next to you is thinking
now you're curious about that too.
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:So that's what's great for me is.
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:show is different every time because
the audience and their thoughts
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:is what determines the outcomes
of things throughout the night.
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:So I have that to my advantage
because people are already
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:intrinsically interested and motivated
to, to follow along with that.
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:I would say also things like texture,
making sure I, ooh, it's, I saw
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:a mentalist the other day, and.
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:Man, I just looked at my
girlfriend who sat next to me
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:and it made me want to cringe.
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:I was like, I hate every part of this.
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:It was just so boring and drawn
out, and it's unfortunate, but like
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:you've, you hear this sometimes in the
mentalism community or in the magic
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:community where they say, mentalism
is so boring, and that's not the case.
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:Bad mentalism is boring, drawn
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:John: Right.
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:Keith Kong: is boring.
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:And so I work really hard to keep things
moving, keep the pace, add texture.
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:Look at the set lists.
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:For me, it's like this is
a mind reading routine.
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:This is a prediction routine,
but I'm not gonna have a
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:prediction, another prediction.
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:It's too much heavy spice.
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:We need to break it up and
create more of a flow to it.
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:And then of course, no
magic for the sake of magic.
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:Is there a meaning behind this?
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:What's the underlying message here?
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:Why?
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:Why are we watching this?
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:Yes, it's for entertainment, but
if I could give them something else
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:to chew on and think about and take
home with them, then it's even better
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:because now it hits on multiple levels.
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:John: I can remember when I very first
trained as a coach certain people
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:around me got very wary that I was
gonna be analyzing them to coach.
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:It's not the same as psychotherapy,
but people thought I was
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:gonna be analyzing them.
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:Do you find that people are a
little wary of you as a mentalist?
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:Like they try to be careful
what they say or do around you.
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:Keith Kong: Oh, a thousand percent.
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:I've walked into venues and people
that have booked me or been on the
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:board that knows I'm coming and stuff
like that, they'll be, oh my God.
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:Don't, are you reading me now?
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:Don't look at me.
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:I think it's great.
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:I remember, it's interesting because
I've had a lot of mentors and psychology
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:professors and things like that.
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:And there were times early on
where I looked at some of these
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:guys and I was like, oh man.
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:Like he knows what I'm thinking right now.
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:And so it's really cool to
have been on both ends of that.
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:John: Yeah.
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:And so do you find it is something
you can switch off or do you
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:sometimes find yourself reading
when you don't really intend to be?
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:Keith Kong: I do switch it
off if I'm not thinking about
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:John: I.
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:Keith Kong: sometimes you'll catch
something and then you'll just know
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:oh, this is what's happening right
now and now you're paying attention
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:to it and you're back into it.
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:So it's interesting.
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:I think I do turn it off because I
don't want to constantly be analyzing.
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:I think that would be exhausting.
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:But it's great that you can flip
the switch, turn it back on, and
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:get a grasp on what's happening.
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:And the other thing I would say to
that is also sometimes people get into
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:psychology and they learn a little bit of
it, and then they trick themselves into
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:believing that they're an expert or that
they have a solid grasp on a situation.
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:John: Right.
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:Keith Kong: it's important to read
all of these things, body language,
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:subtle cues and things like that.
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:All should be read in clusters.
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:You are looking for a bunch of
things that are congruent that would
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:lead you to the same conclusion.
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:John: Yeah.
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:I'm very fascinated by the
psychology aspects of what you do.
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:And the whole area of
mentalism interests me.
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:Probably not enough to go and start
learning it at this stage in my life,
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:but I do find it very fascinating.
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:And I know that you have some
background in, in psychology.
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:What are some of the maybe most
surprising things that you've
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:learned or realized from what you
do in relation to how people work?
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:I guess.
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:Keith Kong: That's a great question.
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:There's not a whole lot
that surprises me anymore.
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:I always like to say people are people and
like people are people, they're fallible.
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:They fall for the same kinds of
influence and persuasion and certain
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:things, reciprocity norms, like we're
all susceptible to these things.
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:Even if you know about it.
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:There's been, I remember being surprised
by, and this is a wild example, but
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:schizophrenics, people with schizophrenia
and they're having delusions and all of
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:these hallucinations, things like that.
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:Despite that, really surprised me when I
was first learning about all of this years
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:ago to find that people with schizophrenia
are aware that they have schizophrenia.
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:John: Right.
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:Keith Kong: that this is a thing that
they're experiencing false beliefs
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:and hallucinations and stuff like
that, but then they still sometimes
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:can't differentiate between the two.
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:So like that was an
interesting thing to me that.
321
:was one guy that we talked about,
he was actually a therapist
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:and he developed schizophrenia.
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:So he was very aware of what he was
dealing with, but it still was able
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:to control when he is not medicating
himself, which is a whole nother thing
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:when it comes to schizophrenics and the
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:That they take.
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:And we could go on and on about that.
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:But yeah, surprising surprising things.
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:There's not too much anymore.
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:It's just, I think that people are people
and we all can do good things, bad things.
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:Yeah
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:John: do you feel like you have any
insights into how people work that
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:perhaps other people don't have?
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:Generally.
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:Keith Kong: I think so.
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:I think just being aware of, I
think just being aware of the
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:different things that are out
there when it comes to things like.
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:Reciprocity norms or body language, like
these are things that are happening.
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:Body language happens without you thinking
about it, you know that it's happening
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:and you can pay attention now, you
definitely have more insight into what's
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:going on than the average person that
doesn't know anything about it and is
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:watching the same conversation happen.
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:John: Yeah.
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:And for what you do, you'll have.
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:Elements where you're gonna be doing
influence, like one-on-one with people,
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:I would imagine, and also elements where
you may be doing it with the whole room.
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:What are some of the things you could tell
us about how the influence and persuasion
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:skills work in those sorts of areas?
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:What are some of, they may be insights
or even hacks or ways to understand
350
:this of influencing one-to-one
and influencing on a group level?
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:Keith Kong: Yeah.
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:Okay.
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:So one-on-one is gonna be probably a
lot of the stuff that your listeners
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:have heard, things like bonding
and rapport matching and mirroring.
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:Those are all great for one-on-one.
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:Color psychology is interesting.
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:Blue is a persuasive color.
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:Red is usually a power color.
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:So those things factor in, and I
think that these are all multipliers.
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:When you know these things and
you stack them, it's just like
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:bonus points from the platform.
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:Oftentimes people get loud and
chatty and it's hard to grasp their
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:attention, especially right at the
start, people in the back of the room.
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:For me, this is why I like to
come in with something that
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:involves everybody if I can.
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:John: Yeah.
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:Keith Kong: want to build the credibility.
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:When I come out, there's a sizzle reel
that plays, and it shows the shows
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:that I've been on and the credits and
accolades that I've received, and now
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:people tend to say to themselves, oh.
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:No matter what this guy does, it's
gonna be good because it's already been
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:determined that he's good based on other
professionals and people like that.
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:when they get chatty, oftentimes it's our
instinct to get louder and try like guys,
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:try to command their attention, but it's
actually better to talk a little softer.
375
:And now they're like,
whoa, what's happening?
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:And now they want to pay attention.
377
:So a ton of techniques
come to mind when it comes
378
:John: Is that something that also, like
if you speak a bit softer, other people,
379
:there's start going, trying to hear them.
380
:Keith Kong: Yeah, absolutely.
381
:It's just, it's great because you notice
the Dr, the change in sound, like we,
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:really loud and how many times have you
been talking to someone and then the room
383
:gets quiet and it's oh, what's happening?
384
:John: Yeah, no, absolutely.
385
:I get that.
386
:With one-to-one influence and persuasion,
you say matching and mirroring some things
387
:like, but what are some of the maybe.
388
:Lesser known things that you
might use in in working on
389
:stage with somebody or, yeah.
390
:In your routine,
391
:Keith Kong: there's so
many subtle techniques for.
392
:Something as simple as if I want to
determine whether or not someone's
393
:right or left-handed, because I don't
put a whole lot of stock in NLP.
394
:But there are some parts that
do work that I do agree with.
395
:one thing that's interesting is eye
movements, for example, up until
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:the left is typically fabrication.
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:Like we might say person's lying
they're creating a story, whereas
398
:up until the right would be recall.
399
:One thing that's interesting is that
it's the opposite for left-handed people.
400
:So how do you know if
someone's right or left-handed?
401
:Sometimes I might just ask in a
presentation, but if I wanna know
402
:subtly, I might hand them the mic watch
for the hand that they grab it with.
403
:now I know like little subtle
things like that are great.
404
:I think if we talk about body
language, your nose and feet tend
405
:to point towards areas of desire.
406
:We could talk about shoes.
407
:Just looking at someone's shoes often
tells you a lot about the kind of person
408
:that they are, their communication
style and that sort of thing.
409
:John: Like if they're all scuffed
up and scruffy, or if they polished
410
:and pristine, that kind of thing.
411
:What is it you look for there?
412
:Keith Kong: Yeah.
413
:If they're polished and pristine,
look at someone's office.
414
:Even if you go into someone's office
and there's a place for everything,
415
:chances are this person is very
analytical, They want the statistics.
416
:They want facts, like
everything's neat and organized.
417
:Whereas you go into someone's
office and they've just got
418
:awards and accolades on the walls.
419
:Now you know that this person is,
like a sort of dominant personality.
420
:If you're in a buyer situation,
these are the people that
421
:tend to like to buy in bulk.
422
:They wanna
423
:John: Yeah.
424
:Keith Kong: done.
425
:Done is better than done, right?
426
:We can just get it done.
427
:We can fix it later if we need to.
428
:If you go into someone's office and
they've got pictures of their family
429
:all over the walls, then you know
that this is like a steady relator,
430
:the glue that holds society together.
431
:This is the person.
432
:That wants everybody to be happy,
everything to be safe and fair.
433
:So I might use words like, if that
sounds fair, then we can, or if we all
434
:agree, then would the next step, would it
make sense to do this as the next step?
435
:And so the language might change
now going back to that person
436
:with the awards on the wall.
437
:In that same conversation, I might say
something like, and then if that sounds
438
:good to you, or I might say something
like, you guys know your industry.
439
:You probably do it
better than anyone else.
440
:And that's all music
to that person's ears.
441
:So you look for subtle cues like that,
and you can deliver the same message,
442
:but worded differently, worded in
a way that caters to that person's
443
:personality and communication styles.
444
:John: And that's just from paying
attention to some of the detail
445
:on the person and around them
in their environments as well.
446
:I.
447
:Keith Kong: Yeah, absolutely.
448
:John: Which is pretty awesome.
449
:I'm interested that you brought up
NLP and your linguistic programming.
450
:Some is something that certainly a number
of my listeners will know something about
451
:and maybe even have had training in.
452
:I've been through training for that
and I'm probably in the same boat as
453
:you as there are some bits of it that
kind of good and useful and there's
454
:a lot of it that's, kind of crap.
455
:Just don't really bother with Are
there, what are some of the other
456
:aspects or that you maybe have got
from that perhaps have been helpful?
457
:Keith Kong: I would say
anchoring is a good one, right?
458
:Anchoring, condiment, anchoring, which
is just tying a feeling to an object and
459
:now anytime that object comes out, but
psychologists might explain that as a
460
:form of classical conditioning, right?
461
:Like very pavlovian.
462
:You associate, if you have these
feelings, when this object is around
463
:now, when this object is around,
you have these feelings again.
464
:So it all makes sense.
465
:Things like that.
466
:The eye movements are
interesting, but I don't know.
467
:I think a lot of the rest of it is just
maybe like too bro sciencey in a way.
468
:John: It certainly made some
people a lot of money teaching it.
469
:There's no doubt about that.
470
:But yes, I think some of it is is
cheap psychology, and for me it
471
:uses uses a lot of peer pressure to
get results in those sort of large
472
:events and things where somebody I
think maybe even certain religious
473
:events might do similar things
where somebody feels that
474
:they have to go along with it.
475
:I think the same is I feel
the same about hypnosis.
476
:I dunno.
477
:But I'm curious what you
think about hypnosis.
478
:'cause I can't, I am a bit like,
I don't necessarily think it's
479
:a real thing, but I think we can
convince ourselves to do stuff.
480
:But where would you, as a mentalist, where
would you stand with something like that?
481
:Keith Kong: so I would say
hypnosis is a real thing.
482
:If you've ever been driving
a car and space out.
483
:you're home.
484
:All of a sudden you're
pulling in the driveway.
485
:You don't remember the
last few miles or anything.
486
:That's a form of hypnosis.
487
:We experience that all the
time in our day-to-day lives.
488
:It's just when it comes to a
stage hypnotist or hypnotherapy,
489
:it's almost as if you
are in the driver's seat.
490
:The hypnotist is in the passenger seat
with a roadmap, steering you, telling you
491
:where to go, and you allow it to happen.
492
:And.
493
:It's not, I don't wanna say it's
playing along, but in a way,
494
:like you are listening to these
commands and you are being receptive
495
:to them, and it is relaxing.
496
:An hour of hypnosis feels
like a night of sleep.
497
:I've been hypnotized,
I've hypnotized people.
498
:can be fun.
499
:I've never done hypnotherapy,
but obviously people see
500
:results with that as well.
501
:so yeah, it's real.
502
:There's different levels
of response to it.
503
:Some people.
504
:Are non-responsive because
they wanna fight it.
505
:They think oh, I'm not
weak-minded and stuff.
506
:And if you wanna fight with
hypnotist, you've already won.
507
:It won't happen.
508
:You're not gonna be able to do,
you wouldn't do anything that you
509
:wouldn't normally do under hypnosis
if you weren't under hypnosis.
510
:John: Yeah.
511
:Keith Kong: Unless you get into like
manchurian candidate type stuff,
512
:which is a whole nother, stage
hypnosis and that sort of thing.
513
:And then there's some people that
have really negative responses.
514
:It's called an abreaction, which is
when there's some kind of trauma from
515
:their past or something like that.
516
:And now being in this trance state,
something triggers that and brings it up.
517
:And they might get really
angry or pass out or shake and.
518
:Yeah, so you look for signs like that.
519
:If you bring someone up and you're
doing an induction, which is the part
520
:that is putting them under and you're
seeing them and their are getting
521
:clenched as they're sitting there, like
things like that, that's usually, it's
522
:not always the case, but if you see a
stage hypnosis show and they tap you
523
:and send you back down to your seat,
that might be one of the reasons.
524
:We don't want that happening on stage
and it's happened to my friends.
525
:they'll be doing a hypnosis show at a
school, a college or something like that.
526
:And a girl came up on stage,
had an abreaction, and just
527
:started crying on stage.
528
:it's obviously an awkward
moment, but now the organizers
529
:of that event also have concerns.
530
:And hypnosis doesn't come back
the next year because of it.
531
:But it's a thing that can happen.
532
:So I'd say it's definitely real.
533
:But yeah, there is an extent of people.
534
:There are even some people that will
get on stage and just play along
535
:John: Yeah.
536
:Keith Kong: the hypnotist
isn't asking them to do it, but
537
:they're the star of the show.
538
:They're up in the and oftentimes if
a hypnotist notices that he will send
539
:that person back to their seat too.
540
:'cause that's not what
we want in the show.
541
:We want authentic responses and reactions.
542
:John: So, I mean, I'm not necessarily
of the opinion, it's all bunk that
543
:there's something there, but I'm not sure
exactly what hypnosis is to that extent.
544
:It's like where do we define the line
or draw the line between it just being
545
:a form self hypnosis where you convince
yourself or where someone external
546
:to you actually has the ability to
have that mental influence over you.
547
:'cause I think as you suggested
that you have to give it to them.
548
:You have to trust the person.
549
:And if you put up resistance to
it's not gonna happen anyway.
550
:Keith Kong: And it's like a
form of mindfulness in a way.
551
:I remember a psychology professor
of mine who would have us do my.
552
:Mindfulness ex activities and exercises
at the beginning of every session, I
553
:once made this comparison and she didn't
like it, but I stand by it I think.
554
:I think she didn't like it because
people sometimes fear hypnosis
555
:and she didn't want 'em to fear
mindfulness and everything.
556
:I don't think you should fear
either of them, there are massive
557
:similarities between the induction
phase, the first 15 minutes of a stage
558
:hypnosis show and a guided meditation.
559
:I want you to concentrate
on that spot on the ceiling.
560
:Focus on that and breathe in.
561
:Breathe out.
562
:Shut your eyes.
563
:Think of this, you're descending down
a stair, a stairwell, like it's very
564
:similar, and so it just puts you in this
relaxed state, which is why it feels
565
:so good when you come out of hypnosis.
566
:Another thing, another hypnotic
technique that you can apply to
567
:various aspects of everyday life when
a hypnotist puts you under and then
568
:they bring you up, they bring you out.
569
:Then they put you back under,
so they'll hypnotize you.
570
:They'll give you a post
hypnotic suggestion.
571
:The moment I snap my fingers,
this is gonna happen.
572
:That happens.
573
:Then they go sleep and you're back
under, when you go back under,
574
:you're in deeper than before.
575
:So if I can bring someone, let's say it's
a sales situation or something like that,
576
:John: Yeah.
577
:Keith Kong: really selling you
on this product and you are
578
:ready to buy, and then I say.
579
:But you're probably, I don't know that
it would work, actually, or I don't know.
580
:You'd be a good fit for this
because of that and stuff.
581
:And then you're like, yeah, I guess so.
582
:And it like deflates you and then
you say, but actually, and now
583
:you like, bring them back in.
584
:Now they're, they want it even more.
585
:They're locked in even more.
586
:A few other things on hypnosis.
587
:Techniques include things
like pacing and leading.
588
:So pacing might be, John, as you're
sitting there with your feet flat on
589
:the ground hands in your lap, you're
gonna start to imagine that you're
590
:stuck to the seat and the harder you
try to stand, the more you stick.
591
:And so now I'm pacing by saying,
as you sit there and you are feet
592
:flat on the ground and they are your
hands in your lap, and they are.
593
:are going to start to feel
this, and now I'm leading.
594
:So I'm saying like as this is
happening, this is also gonna happen.
595
:And then if you notice the language,
I'm saying things like the harder you
596
:try, the more you're going to stick.
597
:I'm not saying like I'm saying
try, you're gonna try to stand,
598
:you're not gonna be able to do it
because you're gonna stick harder.
599
:So there's a lot of language and
there's a lot of structure and
600
:hypnosis as well that helps get
601
:John: Yeah.
602
:And from my, I remember from my
NRP and hypnosis trainings, that
603
:was like embedded commands, right?
604
:It is.
605
:You tell, you're telling them
already what to do but it sounds like
606
:you're just pacing their experience.
607
:Keith Kong: Yep.
608
:John: Very interesting.
609
:I.
610
:From I love the psychology of all of this.
611
:I wonder what psychological insights,
especially that you might have that could
612
:be of great insight or benefit to people
who are on the stage as professional
613
:speakers and and communicators.
614
:Keith Kong: I think a topic that
probably comes up a lot is tonality.
615
:Is a big thing when it
comes to communication.
616
:The platform, speaking from the stages,
617
:I would say more difficult than the
one-on-one situations because now you've
618
:got a massive crowd and you can look at
the audience and see what sort of industry
619
:they come from and get different ideas
based on that of who you're dealing with.
620
:But when it's one-on-one,
it's much more easy.
621
:I would say tonality is a big thing.
622
:It's probably come up here a lot, but body
language we know is 55% of communication
623
:is nonverbal and tonality accounts for
38%, so it's the second largest one.
624
:You could say some really horrible
things, but if you say it in the
625
:right tone, then it'll fly by.
626
:Think of tonality as what dogs understand.
627
:So I could yell at
628
:John: Yeah.
629
:Keith Kong: and be like,
you are the best dog ever.
630
:And the dog's gonna like freak out and
run away because he doesn't understand
631
:the words, but he understands that tone.
632
:Whereas I could be like, oh, you're such
a bad boy while petting him and he is
633
:gonna be wagging his tail and loving it.
634
:Think of tonality when you
speak when it comes to saying
635
:something really important.
636
:Slow down and deliver those lines, and
now it just hits different like the pacing
637
:of the speed of the speech and tone.
638
:Those are all very big, I
think for influence as well.
639
:John: And that suggests that you
want to have them congruent to
640
:what's going on or to the emotion of
a particular piece that you're in.
641
:Keith Kong: Absolutely.
642
:Because anytime there's an
inconsistency or incongruency between
643
:those three forms of communication,
words, tonality, body language.
644
:It comes across as disjointed.
645
:It's what we see as sarcasm.
646
:I could say wow, John,
you're a really smart guy.
647
:Or I could say, wow, John,
you are really smart.
648
:It's the same words, but the tone makes
a massive shift because comes across
649
:as sarcasm because they're disjointed.
650
:John: Are you, when you are on stage, are
you conscious of your own body language or
651
:maybe even of your audience body language?
652
:Keith Kong: I try to
be of my own for sure.
653
:We do this thing in rehearsal
sometimes where we stand on of paper.
654
:It's what is it?
655
:Eight and a half by 11
inches sheet of paper.
656
:And we don't move from that paper
unless it's motivated by something,
657
:because I myself am a natural pacer.
658
:If I'm talking on the phone, I
am pacing around the whole house.
659
:I'll get my day's worth
of steps in that way.
660
:But on stage.
661
:It is important.
662
:It goes back to that thing.
663
:If it's not adding, it's taking away.
664
:So everything has to be deliberate.
665
:John: I like that all your movement
on stage should be volitional.
666
:And certainly I feel for anyone
who's on stage for whatever reason,
667
:if you are pacing around or rocking
or those kinds of things without
668
:purpose, it makes you look unconfident.
669
:Like it may be damages your credibility
from that sort of perspective.
670
:So I think that's a very
valuable thing to pin onto.
671
:Keith Kong: Yeah.
672
:Not just that.
673
:Have you ever heard someone say something
like, sit down, you're making me nervous,
674
:or you get, you make people anxious
by moving or just patting your leg and
675
:John: Yeah, mirror neurons, I guess there.
676
:Keith Kong: Yeah.
677
:Mirror neurons.
678
:Exactly.
679
:I.
680
:John: So we pick up on
what's going on from stage.
681
:And with the audience, you don't,
do you pay attention to, like how
682
:they're sitting or how they're
physically responding to what you do?
683
:Keith Kong: Yeah, absolutely.
684
:It's that same thing.
685
:If their feet or nose are pointed
towards the door, you're in trouble.
686
:You can also gauge like people have
short spans sometimes, so I often tell,
687
:I think the reason that I get booked.
688
:For 45 minutes most often is because I
usually tell my clients and prospects,
689
:I found this to be the sweet spot
where it feels like a complete show.
690
:Everybody loves it.
691
:It leaves them wanting
more, but it's not tired.
692
:By the end of it, they're not.
693
:not overdone.
694
:The novelty hasn't worn off.
695
:John: Yeah.
696
:Keith Kong: So a 60 minute show is usually
where I push it to, maybe 70 minutes.
697
:If we're in a theater and
it's something theatrical.
698
:If you go any more than that, 90 minutes
you mentioned having seen Darren Brown.
699
:There's usually an intermission
700
:John: Yes.
701
:Keith Kong: people would
go stir crazy without.
702
:John: I think so when you are
performing, do you have I, I ask
703
:'cause I do this as a speaker.
704
:Do you have a conscience about this is
how I want to be showing up energetically.
705
:This is what I'm aiming to project
out to my audience of how I want to
706
:be showing up in the performance.
707
:And what would that be if you do.
708
:Keith Kong: Yeah, it comes down to
what do you want 'em to be saying in
709
:the stalls when the show lets out.
710
:They go to the bathroom and they're
thinking about the show that they just
711
:saw, what do you want 'em to be thinking?
712
:What do you want 'em to be saying?
713
:Wow, that was incredible.
714
:That was so mind blowing.
715
:And they have, they're
just full of energy.
716
:Or do you want them to go away
reflecting, thinking about their
717
:identity and who they are as a person?
718
:And there's no right or wrong answer.
719
:It's up to the entertainer
or speaker or presenter.
720
:To make that decision.
721
:And so you decide on how you want 'em to
feel and then work backwards to determine
722
:what you can do those thought provoking
questions or to just wow them in magic.
723
:We have these things that are called ta-da
moments, and it's, you don't actually say
724
:ta-da, but that's the gist of it, right?
725
:There's
726
:John: Yeah.
727
:Keith Kong: thing happens
and the audience goes, wow.
728
:But sometimes in mentalism.
729
:We don't want that big applause
moment because, and sometimes we
730
:do, but sometimes we don't because
that's not a natural response.
731
:genuine amazement isn't my instinct
after that isn't to start clapping.
732
:That's what we are trained to do.
733
:John: Yeah.
734
:Keith Kong: do something and it's
just silence for a moment because
735
:everyone's mouth is just like.
736
:and they're looking around.
737
:The other day I did a show, it was
actually like a really informal thing.
738
:And the audience, it was
like a hundred people.
739
:They started Chanting Witch,
which that was a fun one.
740
:John: Did you want them to be or were
you in a very religious environment?
741
:Keith Kong: Thank you.
742
:No, they, it was, they meant
well by and they were just
743
:John: Oh good.
744
:I know you've already had some great
successes with your career so far, and
745
:you've got some exciting plans ahead.
746
:I dunno if you're able to talk about
what you've got coming up right now,
747
:but what's what can you share with us?
748
:Keith Kong: It's funny that you
prefaced it like that because it's,
749
:unfortunately there are some probably.
750
:One of the biggest things that I'm
working on right now I'm not allowed
751
:to say much about, but the things that
I am allowed to say are I'm working
752
:on a book and it's going to have
a lot of the things that we talked
753
:about today included and so much more.
754
:It's like a psychological Swiss Army
knife, so tons of practical situational
755
:psychology from the boardroom
to the bedroom, to the bathroom.
756
:It's got everything in there
and I'm really happy with that.
757
:We've got.
758
:A section on memory techniques,
a section on the psychology
759
:of attraction, psychology of
influence and persuasion sales.
760
:It's so very excited about it,
and so I've been working on that.
761
:I also just have a ton of
corporate events coming up.
762
:I'm being booked out further
in advance than ever before.
763
:I've got things booked
through mid:
764
:That's not to say there's no
openings from now till then if you're
765
:interested inquire, but it's great.
766
:We've got tons of corporate events
coming up, national conferences award
767
:shows and those types of things.
768
:John: Great.
769
:I will certainly be wanting to check
out your book once it's available and
770
:even though it's stuff, you can't talk
about we wish you every success with
771
:all of that and the stuff that you can
talk about as well for those who maybe
772
:do want to come and find out a bit more
about you and maybe connect with you so
773
:that they can stay tuned for what you've
got going on and what, when your book's
774
:out and those kinds of things, what's
the best way for people to do that?
775
:Keith Kong: Yeah, so I
will give you the link.
776
:My website is kong mentalist.com,
777
:KONG, mental IS t.com.
778
:If you go to that website, if
you do kong mentalist.com/.
779
:Links, L-I-N-K-S.
780
:It will give you everything.
781
:So you'll have the links to my Instagram,
YouTube, where to sign up for the mailing
782
:list, and that way you'll be notified.
783
:You'll be the first to know when that book
gets launched and everything like that.
784
:So kong mentalist.com/links
785
:will have everything.
786
:And on most social medias,
I'm at Kong Mentalist.
787
:John: Fantastic.
788
:That's gonna be in the show notes for
anyone who just wants a link to click
789
:on, but I'm sure you can find it.
790
:It's been from what from
what Keith has just told you.
791
:Keith, you've shared, you shared a
lot of great insights and there's
792
:some nice little hacks and stuff
for people to pick out today and
793
:it's been a fun conversation.
794
:So I just wanna really thank
you for coming and being my
795
:guest on present Influence.
796
:Keith Kong: Yeah.
797
:Thank you so much.
798
:The time's just flown by.
799
:This has been really fun.
800
:John: It has.
801
:Thanks so much.
802
:I wonder if you're anything like
me and have a few thoughts about
803
:some of the things that Keith
talked about in that conversation.
804
:For me, it was fascinating to
hear about how we pretty much
805
:all work with the same triggers.
806
:I.
807
:But there are sometimes subtle
things that we can tune into
808
:that might give us an edge.
809
:Things like looking at the
context of a situation.
810
:One element that Keith talked about,
particularly in relation to that, was
811
:like maybe how someone's dressed, looking
at their shoes, to give you a sense
812
:of how they take care of themselves
or how they think about themselves.
813
:If you are in one of their
environments, like their office
814
:or somewhere in their home, looking
at the context of the situation.
815
:So you're not just looking at the person,
you're looking at them in the context of
816
:the space that you can pick up on some
cues around them, as to how they might
817
:like to be talked to, or what you, what
they might appreciate you focusing in on.
818
:Notice the things that they kind
of want you to notice, even if it
819
:hasn't been super conscious from
them, what is it that they've made on
820
:display that they want you to notice?
821
:It really was interesting to me to have
that talk about NLP and they note that
822
:I'm pretty much with Keith on that.
823
:Some aspects of it are great,
some aspects of it, not so much.
824
:And there's bits I use and
bits I tend to dismiss.
825
:Even having paid a small fortune to
do NLP trainings, I'm very nearly went
826
:into becoming an NLP trainer myself, so.
827
:Kind of glad these days that I didn't,
and the whole thing, I don't know, I,
828
:I could be wrong about this, but the
whole NLP movement thing does seem to
829
:have died off somewhat, thankfully.
830
:Although I'm certainly aware that
people like Tony Robbins is still
831
:doing very well with, with their
events, and some people think they're
832
:wonderful, some people less so.
833
:I'm not gonna get into it here.
834
:I'll say this though, I've always
been a little on the fence with
835
:hypnosis as to how much of a thing
is it, is it really just we're
836
:convincing ourselves to do things?
837
:Is it more that somebody else
can actually guide as we go
838
:into particular trance states?
839
:There are elements of it that
I'm like, yeah, I get it.
840
:But I, it's so hard to
define and really pinpoint.
841
:I see it being more related to, as perhaps
Keith was saying, like meditative state
842
:mindfulness and the lights where we kind
of can slow our conscious thinking down a
843
:little bit, and maybe influence ourselves
more effectively in those states.
844
:So whilst I wouldn't necessarily suggest
that everyone needs to go out and
845
:study mentalism, unless you actually
want to be a stage mentalist or mind
846
:reader or something like that, then
it might not be the thing for you.
847
:But there are certainly some tips
and tricks we can pick up on.
848
:And as professional communicators,
we should pay attention to the things
849
:that can have great influence with
our staging now, we will always hear
850
:people talking about things like
vocal variety, especially if you
851
:ever go to a Toastmasters or public
speaking club, is one of the bits
852
:of feedback that comes back more
often than just about anything else.
853
:But to know that it's a tool of influence
and that playing with the speed that
854
:you talk with can be that as well.
855
:And playing with your volume, so
many different vocal elements that
856
:can captivate your audience, that
can keep them engaged and even
857
:enthralled in what you're talking about.
858
:These are really good things to play
with and I like this whole principle
859
:of it's far easier to play with
these things when you have a well
860
:practiced rehearsed talk that you can
go out into the world and deliver.
861
:It's gonna make it easier to do
the finessing, to be a little more
862
:improvisational, to be in the moment.
863
:But as Keith dutifully reminded us not to
get ourselves stuck into a rut where we
864
:are just doing it from memory and maybe
even just phoning it in after a time.
865
:We have to find the ways to keep
our presentations fresh for us
866
:as well as for our audiences.
867
:So if you have already created
a keynote talk, great, but
868
:it is not carved in stone.
869
:It should be a living thing
that you get to update.
870
:It's not like when we write a book and
you have to publish it and then that's it.
871
:Boom, it's published.
872
:Sure you can do a revised version later
on, but it's not really the same as
873
:being able to, maybe the next time you
do a presentation, bring in a new bit
874
:of supporting evidence or a bit of a
development from where you've been at.
875
:Things do develop, we
learn more over time.
876
:We see things a little differently
and sometimes we find out the things
877
:that we've been teaching for years,
878
:we probably need to stop teaching,
and not necessarily that they're
879
:wrong, but maybe they've just
been superseded by something else.
880
:And we should be able to step into
those things and not be dogmatic about
881
:how we do things, how we perform.
882
:It will get stale for us, and it
will get stale for audiences too.
883
:We absolutely must adapt, at least
small elements of our presentations
884
:to the audiences we're in front of,
to the cities and countries that we
885
:are in when we are delivering them.
886
:Let's personalize little aspects
of it and we should always aim,
887
:I think, to improve one particular
aspect of our talk and presentation
888
:might be how we say something.
889
:It might be changing up
a story a little bit.
890
:It might be playing with
the order of things.
891
:Keep it fresh for you and be open
to what actually makes more sense.
892
:And some of that's gonna come from
audience feedback and some of it's
893
:gonna come from what feels right and in
flow for you when you're on the stage.
894
:Lots of things to consider
from this episode, and I hope
895
:that you've enjoyed it too.
896
:Now if you are looking to punch
up your keynote, or maybe you
897
:haven't written your keynote yet
and you want a bit of help and
898
:guidance around that, get in touch.
899
:You can find out more about
me@presentinfluence.com
900
:or come and connect with me on LinkedIn
and shoot me a message there and we could
901
:have a little chat about where you're at
as a speaker right now, where you want
902
:to get to and what's available here
to get you to where you want to get to.
903
:So don't be afraid to
reach out and get in touch.
904
:I'm still looking for a handful of people
who would like to be coached on the show.
905
:So that's a free coaching session for you.
906
:30, maybe 40 minutes.
907
:We'll see how we go.
908
:But the catch or the cost, if you like,
is that that coaching call is gonna be
909
:broadcast, is going to be published in
the podcast, so other people will be able
910
:to watch on YouTube or listen on podcast
channels and to your coaching session.
911
:So we all get to learn
and benefit from it.
912
:While we speak is a private coaching
session, but it's not gonna stay private.
913
:That is the agreement that we make.
914
:If you are interested in being
coached on Present Influence, whether
915
:it's developing your keynote or
even getting started as a speaker.
916
:If you checked out the first
coaching episode with Julia
917
:Packwood, you will know that
that was a great coaching episode.
918
:Julia's just getting started with
her speaking career and I think
919
:we got made some really great
progress in that one session.
920
:You might be a little further along
with your speaking journey than Julia.
921
:Either way, get in touch if you are
open to being coached on the show and
922
:maybe even helping others through your
coaching session, maybe you just wanna
923
:listen to the show and that's fine.
924
:I absolutely appreciate you for
doing that and for tuning in today.
925
:Now, I hope you are already
subscribed to the show.
926
:If not, it only takes a moment to do that.
927
:You can click the plus button
on Spotify or follow on Apple
928
:Podcasts, or maybe it's something
different on your podcast provider.
929
:Or if you are watching on YouTube and
you've got this far into the video
930
:and you haven't already pressed,
like and subscribe, please do and
931
:maybe even leave a comment as well.
932
:What has been the biggest takeaway
for you from this episode?
933
:I am gonna be back on Friday breaking
down a story that I delivered just a
934
:week ago, last Sunday at a storytelling
contest here in Valencia, Spain.
935
:It won me top raconteur of the night.
936
:I got voted the top storyteller for the
evening, it is a bit of a personal story.
937
:But I hope you'll enjoy it.
938
:It's certainly got some laughs in there
and some ooh moments in there as well.
939
:And I'm gonna break down how that
story ended up getting put together.
940
:I will probably try and get the organizer
for these events onto the show as well.
941
:Because I think what he's doing
around helping people get on stage,
942
:doing storytelling and running the
workshops that he's doing, is something
943
:that's worth sharing with you too.
944
:All right, so I hope
you'll join me for that.
945
:At this moment, I haven't completely
decided which of the next of my queued
946
:up guest interviews I'm gonna bring you.
947
:There is a reason for that.
948
:I might share it with you next week.
949
:However, I will be back on
Wednesday and Friday next week
950
:with more Present Influence.
951
:And so wherever you're going, whatever
you're doing, have an amazing rest of day.
952
:See you next time.