Episode 226

Unity: A Speaker's Gift for Ethical Influence

Harnessing Unity for Impactful Public Speaking: Insights from Robert Cialdini

In this episode, the concept of 'unity' as an influential principle from Robert Cialdini's revised book 'Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion' is explored. The host discusses the emotional power of unity in connecting with audiences and emphasizes that unity is about finding shared values and experiences rather than pretending to be the same. Examples and stories are provided, including techniques for creating a sense of belonging and ethical connection in public speaking. The episode also considers the potential misuse of unity and advises speakers to use it as a means of fostering inclusive and meaningful connections.


00:00 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

00:20 Introducing Cialdini's Principle of Unity

00:43 Understanding Unity and Shared Identity

01:24 Creating Unity as a Speaker

02:30 Real-Life Examples of Unity

03:24 Ethical Use of Unity in Speaking

04:05 Practical Tips for Building Unity

05:59 The Power and Danger of Unity

07:01 Conclusion and Next Steps

Go to presentinfluence.com to take the Speaker StrengthsFinder Quiz and discover your greatest strengths as a speaker as well as where to focus for growth. For speaking enquiries or to connect with me, you can email john@presentinfluence.com or find me on LinkedIn

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Transcript
John:

Do you ever feel like you are not one of them?

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You know, the old imposter syndrome?

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Maybe you've questioned whether you

belong on certain stages or with certain

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audiences or in certain industries?

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Well, lemme tell you something.

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Unity isn't about pretending

that we're all the same.

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It's about discovering what we

share, even when we are different.

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In this episode, we're exploring

one of Robert Cialdini's most

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underrated, but emotionally

powerful principles of influence.

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The bonus principle in his

revised book influenced the

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psychology of persuasion; unity.

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When it's used, well, it connects us.

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And when it's abused, it divides us.

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And for speakers, it can be the difference

between being heard and being remembered.

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So what is unity?

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Why does it even matter?

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Cialdini describes unity

as shared identity.

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When people feel one of us with

you, they become more open,

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trusting, and responsive, and

it's more than liking or rapport.

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It taps into who we are.

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Our essence, our values, our emotions.

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So unity can come from all these places.

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Shared values, shared experiences,

struggles, shared affiliations,

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culture, nationality, faith generations.

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As a speaker, the more you can

create the US feeling, the more

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powerful your impact is going to be.

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Here's the key.

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You don't need to be

exactly like your audience.

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You just need to find where your

experiences or values intersect.

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So let me share with you a little

story for a client I was working

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with recently who said to me that

he didn't belong in corporate.

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He actually said to me, I don't think

I can speak to corporate audiences.

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I've never worked in that world.

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Come from a completely

different background.

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I said, well, perfect.

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That actually might be your advantage.

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Why?

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Because he wasn't just another suit.

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He had outside insight.

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And when we reframed it, his difference

was not so much of a gap as a gift.

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I showed him how to chunk out from

specific industry examples and

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jargon to shared human experiences.

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So it might be, instead of saying sales

teams, you might talk about people

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with goals instead of boardrooms.

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Talk about places where

decisions and doubt coexist.

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His message didn't need corporate

polish, it just needed a bit more

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of a universal emotional core.

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And when you connect to

that, everybody listens.

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I've had the experience of being

an outsider on the inside and

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many times, a few recent examples

over the past several years.

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Uh, one was being the only Gen

X person in a startup, mostly

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comprised of millennials.

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So different pace, different

references, different expectations.

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But there was also a time when I was

one of the only British people and the

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only openly atheist person, I think in

a mostly Christian American company.

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Now, whilst this is just a suspicion,

I, I felt that these differences

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particularly may have played a big

part when layoffs were coming up

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and the company was making cutbacks.

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So unity or the lack of it

can be subtle, but it is real.

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And that's why I speak from

experience when people don't

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feel like you're one of us.

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They disconnect faster, but you

don't need to fake belonging.

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You just need to create bridges.

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So how do speakers create unity ethically?

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And you know, we're all

about the ethics here.

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So how do we create unity on

stage without pretending to be

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something we're not so using?

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We language are over and over again.

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Inclusive language, you or I,

we gonna make a big difference.

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Share stories that tap into more

universal values and emotions.

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So examples could be fear,

joy, uncertainty, hope we

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all have those experiences.

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Call out common experiences,

even small ones.

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Anyone else?

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Ever forget what you're

about to say on stage.

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Mirror the values of your

audience, not their opinions.

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Show up early, stay late.

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Connect personally.

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Here's a tip I shared

earlier in this series.

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If you are speaking at a company, connect

with some team members beforehand by, get

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some insight into where you're going.

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If you don't have access to

that, immediately ask for it.

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Ask to be able to be connected with

a few people so you can get a bit of

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a sense of what's going on for them,

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and you can potentially then directly

address what's going on for them

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and reference it so that they're

gonna feel that you really see them,

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that you are part of their team.

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Even though you are not For that,

for that time that you're on stage,

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you can be so, learn their names,

mention them during your talk.

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People will feel seen, and people will

feel, all right, you are one of us.

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Bookers will see it as well.

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They'll see it in the feedback.

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They'll remember that

you did this as well.

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Going, that extra mile, being proactive

is always very noticeable and keeping

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in contact with them, with your CRM,

even if it's their bookings coming up.

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Even if you're not asking for a gig from

them, maybe just reach out and say, hi,

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from time tonight, I remember that gig.

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We appreciate you.

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Here's something I found that might

actually be of interest to you and to

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your industry, and send that over to them.

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Stay in contact.

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Here's something I think is important

and we're gonna talk about chunking

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up and really chunking up is

about getting outta the specifics.

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The more general, so let's say your story

is about launching a product that failed.

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You could chunk that up into a

universal value, so could be the

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courage to try something new.

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Learning from failure and

feeling exposed and vulnerable.

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Suddenly, it doesn't matter

if your audience is made up of

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executives, teachers, or teenagers.

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They'll get it because you move

from the specific to the universal.

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Think of unity like a campfire.

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People don't gather around it because

they all come from the same place.

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They gather because it's warm,

it's welcoming, and it lights

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up what we all have in common.

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As a speaker, your job isn't

to tell people where to sit.

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It's to keep a fire burning.

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Unity is a very powerful principle

of influence, weapon of influence.

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Cialdini does sometimes refer to these

things as weapons of influence, unity

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certainly can be used as a weapon as well.

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So it's very powerful and like

the campfire, it can burn you.

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History has shown us and right now is

showing us as well that shared identities

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can be used to exclude, to dehumanize,

to stigmatize even inside violence

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against people who are not like us.

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From nationalism to cult behavior and

beyond, we've seen it all too often.

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So always ask, is my use

of unity, bringing people

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together or pushing others out?

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Real leadership doesn't just rally

the ingroup, it welcomes the outliers.

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So here's your call as a speaker.

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Use unity not as a tool of

sameness, but as a path to deeper

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shared meaning and connection.

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Find common values,

speak to shared humanity.

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Be the one who lights the campfire

and says, come sit with us.

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If your more tools for ethical

influence and presentation skills,

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check the links in the description for

free speaker resources and trainings.

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And if this episode spoke to you

specifically, please like, subscribe

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and share it with the speaker.

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And if you haven't checked out the

whole series of episodes so far.

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Please do go and check them out.

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This is a whole playlist and mini

course, really about Robert Cialdini's

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influence principles specifically for

professional speakers and communicators.

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So whilst this may be the end of

Cialdini's Influence series, there

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are many more elements of influence

that we have to talk about and will

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be bringing up in future videos.

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So do stick around for those all you

need to be part of this in crowd is

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an interest in speaking and presenting

professionally or otherwise, and

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a desire to operate ethically, and

you are very welcome to join us.

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So until the next time we do connect, stay

present, stay united and stay influential.

About the Podcast

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Present Influence: The Professional Speaking Show
Speak to inspire. Influence with integrity. Lead with presence.

About your host

Profile picture for John Ball

John Ball

John Ball is a keynote coach and professional speaker on a mission to help upcoming leaders master their communication, create impact and stand out as experts in their field.
John left the high life of his flying career to do something more meaningful to him and has since worked with several leading personal and professional development organisations as a lead coach and trainer.
The heart of everything John does involves helping people shift to personal responsibility and conscious awareness of how they show up and perform in every situation, whilst equipping them with the tools to be exceptional.
John also co-hosts The Coaching Clinic Podcast with his great friend and colleague Angie Besignano.
He lives in the beautiful city of Valencia, Spain with his husband and often visits the UK and US for speaking and training engagements. When he's not speaking or podcasting, he's likely to be out swimming, kayaking or enjoying time with friends.

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