Unity: A Speaker's Gift for Ethical Influence

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Do you ever feel like you are not one of them?

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You know, the old imposter syndrome?

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Maybe you've questioned whether you

belong on certain stages or with certain

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audiences or in certain industries?

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Well, lemme tell you something.

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Unity isn't about pretending

that we're all the same.

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It's about discovering what we

share, even when we are different.

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In this episode, we're exploring

one of Robert Cialdini's most

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underrated, but emotionally

powerful principles of influence.

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The bonus principle in his

revised book influenced the

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psychology of persuasion; unity.

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When it's used, well, it connects us.

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And when it's abused, it divides us.

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And for speakers, it can be the difference

between being heard and being remembered.

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So what is unity?

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Why does it even matter?

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Cialdini describes unity

as shared identity.

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When people feel one of us with

you, they become more open,

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trusting, and responsive, and

it's more than liking or rapport.

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It taps into who we are.

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Our essence, our values, our emotions.

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So unity can come from all these places.

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Shared values, shared experiences,

struggles, shared affiliations,

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culture, nationality, faith generations.

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As a speaker, the more you can

create the US feeling, the more

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powerful your impact is going to be.

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Here's the key.

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You don't need to be

exactly like your audience.

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You just need to find where your

experiences or values intersect.

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So let me share with you a little

story for a client I was working

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with recently who said to me that

he didn't belong in corporate.

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He actually said to me, I don't think

I can speak to corporate audiences.

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I've never worked in that world.

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Come from a completely

different background.

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I said, well, perfect.

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That actually might be your advantage.

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Why?

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Because he wasn't just another suit.

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He had outside insight.

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And when we reframed it, his difference

was not so much of a gap as a gift.

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I showed him how to chunk out from

specific industry examples and

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jargon to shared human experiences.

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So it might be, instead of saying sales

teams, you might talk about people

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with goals instead of boardrooms.

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Talk about places where

decisions and doubt coexist.

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His message didn't need corporate

polish, it just needed a bit more

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of a universal emotional core.

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And when you connect to

that, everybody listens.

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I've had the experience of being

an outsider on the inside and

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many times, a few recent examples

over the past several years.

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Uh, one was being the only Gen

X person in a startup, mostly

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comprised of millennials.

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So different pace, different

references, different expectations.

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But there was also a time when I was

one of the only British people and the

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only openly atheist person, I think in

a mostly Christian American company.

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Now, whilst this is just a suspicion,

I, I felt that these differences

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particularly may have played a big

part when layoffs were coming up

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and the company was making cutbacks.

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So unity or the lack of it

can be subtle, but it is real.

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And that's why I speak from

experience when people don't

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feel like you're one of us.

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They disconnect faster, but you

don't need to fake belonging.

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You just need to create bridges.

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So how do speakers create unity ethically?

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And you know, we're all

about the ethics here.

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So how do we create unity on

stage without pretending to be

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something we're not so using?

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We language are over and over again.

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Inclusive language, you or I,

we gonna make a big difference.

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Share stories that tap into more

universal values and emotions.

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So examples could be fear,

joy, uncertainty, hope we

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all have those experiences.

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Call out common experiences,

even small ones.

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Anyone else?

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Ever forget what you're

about to say on stage.

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Mirror the values of your

audience, not their opinions.

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Show up early, stay late.

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Connect personally.

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Here's a tip I shared

earlier in this series.

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If you are speaking at a company, connect

with some team members beforehand by, get

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some insight into where you're going.

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If you don't have access to

that, immediately ask for it.

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Ask to be able to be connected with

a few people so you can get a bit of

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a sense of what's going on for them,

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and you can potentially then directly

address what's going on for them

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and reference it so that they're

gonna feel that you really see them,

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that you are part of their team.

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Even though you are not For that,

for that time that you're on stage,

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you can be so, learn their names,

mention them during your talk.

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People will feel seen, and people will

feel, all right, you are one of us.

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Bookers will see it as well.

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They'll see it in the feedback.

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They'll remember that

you did this as well.

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Going, that extra mile, being proactive

is always very noticeable and keeping

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in contact with them, with your CRM,

even if it's their bookings coming up.

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Even if you're not asking for a gig from

them, maybe just reach out and say, hi,

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from time tonight, I remember that gig.

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We appreciate you.

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Here's something I found that might

actually be of interest to you and to

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your industry, and send that over to them.

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Stay in contact.

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Here's something I think is important

and we're gonna talk about chunking

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up and really chunking up is

about getting outta the specifics.

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The more general, so let's say your story

is about launching a product that failed.

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You could chunk that up into a

universal value, so could be the

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courage to try something new.

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Learning from failure and

feeling exposed and vulnerable.

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Suddenly, it doesn't matter

if your audience is made up of

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executives, teachers, or teenagers.

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They'll get it because you move

from the specific to the universal.

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Think of unity like a campfire.

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People don't gather around it because

they all come from the same place.

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They gather because it's warm,

it's welcoming, and it lights

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up what we all have in common.

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As a speaker, your job isn't

to tell people where to sit.

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It's to keep a fire burning.

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Unity is a very powerful principle

of influence, weapon of influence.

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Cialdini does sometimes refer to these

things as weapons of influence, unity

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certainly can be used as a weapon as well.

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So it's very powerful and like

the campfire, it can burn you.

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History has shown us and right now is

showing us as well that shared identities

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can be used to exclude, to dehumanize,

to stigmatize even inside violence

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against people who are not like us.

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From nationalism to cult behavior and

beyond, we've seen it all too often.

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So always ask, is my use

of unity, bringing people

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together or pushing others out?

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Real leadership doesn't just rally

the ingroup, it welcomes the outliers.

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So here's your call as a speaker.

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Use unity not as a tool of

sameness, but as a path to deeper

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shared meaning and connection.

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Find common values,

speak to shared humanity.

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Be the one who lights the campfire

and says, come sit with us.

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If your more tools for ethical

influence and presentation skills,

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check the links in the description for

free speaker resources and trainings.

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And if this episode spoke to you

specifically, please like, subscribe

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and share it with the speaker.

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And if you haven't checked out the

whole series of episodes so far.

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Please do go and check them out.

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This is a whole playlist and mini

course, really about Robert Cialdini's

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influence principles specifically for

professional speakers and communicators.

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So whilst this may be the end of

Cialdini's Influence series, there

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are many more elements of influence

that we have to talk about and will

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be bringing up in future videos.

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So do stick around for those all you

need to be part of this in crowd is

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an interest in speaking and presenting

professionally or otherwise, and

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a desire to operate ethically, and

you are very welcome to join us.

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So until the next time we do connect, stay

present, stay united and stay influential.