Episode 232
The 3 Rules of Communication Every Leader Needs | Lucille Ossai
Leaders don’t fail because they lack ideas — they fail because they can’t communicate them.
In this episode, I sit down with Lucille Ossai, award-winning communications trainer and author of Influence and Thrive. From Lagos Business School to global boardrooms, Lucille has helped leaders transform how they connect, persuade, and inspire.
We unpack her 3 rules of effective communication and why mastering writing is often the fastest way to expand your influence.
🔑 In this conversation:
- How Lucille stumbled into communication after starting as a stay-at-home mum
- The surprising power of writing in an AI-driven world
- The 3 rules that instantly make you clearer and more credible
- Why communication is the #1 skill that drives leadership impact
📖 Learn more about Lucille:
Book: Influence and Thrive → https://amzn.eu/d/5h8mZDO
Website: www.lucilleossai.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lucilleossaicommunicationspro
✨ If you’ve ever felt your voice isn’t being heard, this episode will give you the tools to change that.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to Powerful Communication
00:14 Lucille Ossai's Journey to Communication Expertise
01:29 The Importance of Communication Skills
03:19 Benefits of Effective Communication
05:19 Implementing Effective Communication
09:09 Three Rules of Effective Communication
12:56 Influence Through Communication
15:50 Overcoming Communication Challenges
24:50 The Power of Writing in Communication
26:22 A Nervous Start and Building Skills
26:45 The Importance of Writing in Business
27:57 Reading to Improve Writing
29:10 Blogging as a Tool for Improvement
30:46 The Role of AI in Writing
37:50 Effective Leadership Communication
41:56 Optimism for Future Business Leaders
45:39 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Visit presentinfluence.com/quiz to take the Speaker Radiance Quiz and discover your Charisma Quotient.
For speaking enquiries or to connect with me, you can email john@presentinfluence.com or find me on LinkedIn
You can find all our clips, episodes and more on the Present Influence YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PresentInfluence
Thanks for listening, and please give the show a 5* review if you enjoyed it.
Transcript
What if the reason your ideas aren't landing isn't your
2
:content, but your communication?
3
:Today, I'm joined by Lucille Ossai,
a award-winning communication coach,
4
:Lagos Business School faculty and
author of Influence and Thrive.
5
:Lucille went from stay at home mom
to Global Authority on Influence.
6
:And in this episode, she reveals the
three rules of powerful communication.
7
:Why writing is your hidden leadership
8
:John (2): advantage , And how to be heard.
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:Even if you are an introvert.
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:If you've ever felt like your
work should speak for itself
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:and yet you're still overlooked,
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:this conversation will change the
way you show up, write, and speak.
13
:welcome Lucille Asai, welcome to the show.
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:Lucille Ossai: Hello.
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:Thank you very much for having me, John.
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:John: It's a real delight and
when we spoke before it was hard
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:to narrow down all the things.
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:So many things I would love to talk
to you about, but we'll try and
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:get to the most important things
anything else we have time for.
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:We'll get to that as well.
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:But I know that you've been shaping
young hearts and minds and helping
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:to teach the skills of influence
and communication to young people.
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:Why has that been so important?
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:Lucille Ossai: really, really important
because I stumbled into the field
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:quite by accident many years ago.
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:I was a stay at home mom at the
time, and I all just used to
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:wonder why things weren't right.
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:I would watch the television,
I watch interviews, I would
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:just see complaints online.
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:I just, communication is not really
the way it was supposed to be.
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:So I just started following trends.
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:I started researching, and the more I went
deep into the communication angle, the
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:more interested and intrigued I became.
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:It just took off From there.
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:I started a blogs and a blogging
researching, and I just grew
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:extremely passionate about it.
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:I became almost obsessed,
with effective communication.
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:if I look back now, to the point
where I started onto this time, I've
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:just realized that communication
is now critical to effectiveness.
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:As a professional, as
a student, as a leader.
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:it's one of those skills that is
increasingly getting more importance as
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:time goes on, especially in the age of ai.
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:With this fear of AI taking on jobs.
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:one thing relevant to professionals,
executives, and leaders, regardless
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:of their industry or their field.
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:So it's just something that I
believe everybody can hone and
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:I hope I get the opportunity.
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:'cause just like you said, there's
just so much to talk about, but I
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:hope I get the opportunity to share
tips tricks and practices that empower
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:people to communicate more effectively
so they can go ahead and do all those
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:great things and achieve great fits
in their careers or in the business.
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:John: I wonder for you, what
difference has working on communication
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:skills made for your own life?
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:Lucille Ossai: incredible benefits.
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:I'm an introvert by nature, and when I
say this in my training sessions or in
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:class or in front of leaders, I hear
gasps and people are like, no way.
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:I was like, yes, it's true.
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:those who really know me, I'm an
introvert, but I realized that.
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:Even for people who are a bit reserved
and on the quieter side, if you are
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:able to use communication to advance
your ideas, share your knowledge and
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:to just advocate for things that are
important to you, you would get noticed.
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:it doesn't necessarily matter
if you do not know anybody if
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:you don't have connections.
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:And for me, that has been an
eyeopener, especially in Nigeria.
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:John: Yeah.
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:Lucille Ossai: And I'm not just in
Nigeria, but I referenced Nigeria
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:'cause that's where I'm currently based,
who, you know, usually opens doors.
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:But what I've found is that if you are
able to speak effectively, and more
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:importantly, if you are able to write
convincingly, people take notice.
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:I have been able to connect with
incredible people across the globe.
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:People that I have considered beyond
my level, my social network, I've
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:been able to reach out to them,
connected with many on LinkedIn.
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:A couple of those people that I'm really
friendly with, even on social media, on
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:LinkedIn, I have never met in person.
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:over the years I've followed
the work, shared my insights,
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:and broadened my network.
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:that has been really important to
me and, it has helped me to position
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:myself beyond the confines of my region.
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:I'm able to get on, international
podcasts, and I've been given the
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:opportunity to share my expertise
and techniques with a wider audience.
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:It's helped me sharpen my visibility,
it's helped increase my knowledge
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:and it's also helped me in my work
as a communications trainer and
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:coach and facilitators so personally.
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:It's been fantastic.
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:John: I can certainly relate to
all of that having had very similar
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:experiences myself let me ask you, we
talk about communication and having
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:effective communication there are lots
of people who get these trainings or
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:they'll buy a book but never really
do the implementation side of it.
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:So they have a bit of a knowledge, but
they don't really put stuff into practice.
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:What, in your mind, should
effective communication look and
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:be like when it is implemented?
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:Lucille Ossai: Okay.
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:It should be clear.
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:the goal of your communication should
be clear to the recipients or the
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:audience, and you should be able to
inspire them to take some action.
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:Usually when you communicate with
somebody, you want them to feel
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:a certain way or do something.
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:this could be ranging from things that
would benefit you or benefit a community.
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:for business communication,
there's usually a goal for your
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:communication, and that's what
separates business communication
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:from other kind of communication.
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:There's a goal, you are not just
communicating because you want to hear
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:the sound of your voice, or see your name.
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:in print, there's usually a purpose
for which you're communicating.
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:that purpose has to be clear,
so the recipient or the audience
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:should get the same understanding
that you meant to convey.
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:technically it's called shared meaning.
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:what you are communicating
should be the same as what the
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:other person is perceiving.
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:If there's a misalignment, then
you're not communicating effectively.
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:this is a point because I've often gotten
questions like, oh, is it really my fault?
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:I've sent an email.
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:I was very specific.
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:I was very clear, but the person did
not read the email It's not my fault.
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:I wrote as clearly as I could have.
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:communication is something
that should get you a result
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:or bring you closer to a goal.
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:John: So let me, ask you this though,
'cause communication can easily be
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:misunderstood I ascribe to the principle
that the meaning of communication is
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:what gets understood, not necessarily
what is meant to be conveyed.
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:How could you perhaps pick up, or what
would you encourage people to look at,
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:to pick up whether their communication is
being understood in the right way or not?
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:Lucille Ossai: Okay, so is the
person acting in the expected way?
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:For example, if you send me an email
and just say, I would appreciate this
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:project being done by two Pierre.
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:Thanks a lot.
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:And best regards, And then you go, you
haven't given me any call to action.
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:You're just mentioning
what you would like.
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:So I could read it.
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:I was like, Hmm, okay, I'm on track.
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:I'm sure it's gonna be completed,
but I don't feel that I need
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:to communicate that to you.
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:So I might not even respond.
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:I just think, oh, I'm working on it.
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:I'm sure it's gonna be completed and,
and I'm working at it on my desk.
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:Meanwhile, you are expecting some
sort of feedback from me to let you
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:know that I'm on the right track.
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:if you send the email, like, you
know, Lucille I really appreciate it.
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:If you could send me an update on the
project by 4:00 PM then I will say that
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:okay, he wants me to comment on it.
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:he's not just asking how it's going.
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:He wants me to comment on it.
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:be specific because a lot of people
are inundated with information,
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:sure that your emails are short.
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:I cannot stress this enough.
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:get to the point and make sure there's
short in shorter sentences with spaces
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:in between so that there is no confusion.
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:This is one of the ways that we could
make sure that our communication is clear.
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:John: Yeah.
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:And I particularly like that
advice because that's how I
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:tend to do my emails anyway.
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:Lucille Ossai: Oh yeah, I
know that's quite brief.
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:John: It's my natural style Lucille,
I'm one of those people that has to go
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:back and add in the niceties afterwards
because I tend to just be like straight
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:down to it, here's what I want.
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:Right.
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:here's what I want you to do.
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:All right.
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:So, one of the things I'm getting
from that as well, clear, concise,
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:short, let's have it as, crystal clear
as possible and be very clear about
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:what we want the other person to do
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:Lucille Ossai: Absolutely.
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:put that all in a simple framework.
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:Call it the three rules of
effective communication.
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:the first rule is know your audience.
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:that is the number one rule for
communication in general, because the
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:way you communicate with me will probably
differ from the way you communicate
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:with your peers people close to you,
or people from different regions.
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:you touched on the niceties, so
there's the cultural norms you
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:have to be aware of as well.
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:sometimes there appears to be unexpected
and unintended tension, because cultural
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:norms are not addressed or considered
in communication, in writing and in
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:one-on-one, interpersonal communication.
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:it's really important that we all take
a moment to know just a little bit
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:more information who are audiences.
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:So that's rule number one.
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:Then rule number two, is in three parts.
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:I say use the three beacons and I call
them beacons because they light the way.
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:They the way your communication should go.
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:So ask yourself, is my
communication simple?
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:Can a 12-year-old understand it?
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:It doesn't really matter what
the topic is, but can they
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:grasp what I'm trying to say?
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:Then we touched on the second beacon.
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:Is it brief or concise?
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:Does it get straight to the point?
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:Essential in this age of distraction and
different, things vying for attention.
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:And the third one is, is it clear?
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:Now, clarity is often mistaken for
simplicity, but I added, an extra point.
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:And that is for your communication to be
clear, there needs to be a call to action,
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:basically what we just talked about.
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:So what do you want the recipients
or the audience to know, to feel
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:or to do, know, feel, do premise.
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:Yeah.
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:And if you are able to do that for
ensuring the three beacons are addressed
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:in some way, your communications already.
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:Above average.
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:So that's rule number two.
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:Then rule number three is feedback.
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:This is critical.
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:This is the difference between
somebody perceiving you as professional
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:and trustworthy and somebody just
thinking that you know, you know what?
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:This person is just someone
I do not want to deal with.
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:And for your feedback to be effective, it
has to be timely and it has to be factual.
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:And you see, I came up with these three
rules out of frustration basically.
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:I just noticed over the years,
different issues kept on cropping up.
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:And I've just said, wouldn't it be
nice to just pull all these things
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:together and just come up with some
sort of framework, a simple framework.
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:Everybody knows these elements, but just
put it in a nice package with a bow and
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:just say, these are the three rules.
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:Please just ensure you.
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:Address these rules when
you're communicating.
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:Rule number one, know your audience.
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:Rule number two, keep your
communication simple, brief, and clear.
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:rule number three, give feedback
and ask for feedback and show your
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:feedback is timely and factual.
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:If you're able to do these things,
you would automatically be seen
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:as somebody who is credible,
professional, and somebody that
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:people would want to collaborate with.
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:John: I love that you're saying these
are all very, easy to apply things
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:There's nothing particularly
complicated about what you're saying.
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:I think we could all do this, and just
in doing these things, you are already
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:going to have elevated your ability to
communicate above the average, which
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:doesn't say a lot about average levels of
communication, unfortunately, but it does
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:say, rising above that isn't so difficult.
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:even just some of these things
will take you to more noticeable,
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:more influential communication.
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:More effective as well.
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:Absolutely.
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:I love that.
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:And you lay that out really clearly, it's
a nice framework to work with as well.
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:we'll have some show notes for
people to summarize some of
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:this, to review it as well.
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:But what does influence mean to you, and
why is it important for communication?
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:Lucille Ossai: What I've noticed
about influence is that you
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:don't need to be a big name.
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:with all respect to the masters of
Influence, the Kini Kini and so on
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:who have written and made it to be
a science PAC technique, I believe.
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:And this is the beauty of improving
your communication skills, working
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:on your communication skills.
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:I believe that it is easy
for you to influence people.
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:If you are able to communicate
persuasively and intentionally.
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:And it doesn't really
matter if you have access.
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:This is something I've learned as well.
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:It doesn't matter if you have access
to the inner circles of big brands
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:or big names, but if you communicate
consistently, people begin to take notice.
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:And as time goes on, you
begin to hone those skills.
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:So if you're speaking up in,
a team meeting, for example,
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:and you are a bit introverted.
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:I use this example all the time because
that's how I am you have a brilliant
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:idea, but you think, oh, well I'm not
really an executive, I'm a new entrant
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:or a low level staff But you are able
to, raise your hand and say what you
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:consider important or give a suggestion
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:And you stand up, project your voice and
say that, I have heard a lot of brilliant,
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:brilliant recommendation, but I would
like us all to just consider one point,
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:this is what I think will move it forward.
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:You could be speaking for 30
seconds, but you've made your point.
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:People would take notice.
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:They begin to say, oh, you know,
who's that lady over there?
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:where is he from?
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:What department is in makes sense.
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:It's just about knowing how to present
your ideas in a very clear, compelling
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:manner that helps to create influence.
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:Yeah.
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:And the influence could start small.
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:It could be like, invite that person
to a meeting, or, what are your ideas?
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:Or do you mind giving a presentation
before you know it, you are called into
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:those circles that you would otherwise
not have had access to, just by the
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:strength of your communication skills.
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:Because what you said, maybe somebody
else had the same idea but did not
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:communicate it as effectively or
as persuasively as, and this is
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:something that I really hope does.
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:if you commit to it, the results
will actually shock you, and
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:it can become really scary.
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:So ask yourself, how far do I want to go?
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:If you're ambitious I would
order those to be open to me,
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:then that's going to happen.
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:But if not, then you have to decide,
how much do I want to speak up?
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:How many times do I
want to send that email?
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:Your colleagues will begin to
ask your advice and send you
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:information then your growth really
depends on how far you want to go.
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:influence is you being able to
communicate your ideas in a way that
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:will give you greater visibility,
will help you collaborate with others.
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:We get you the desired results and
communication is one of those things
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:you can use to increase your influence.
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:John: Absolutely.
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:This is bring up a few things in me and
one of them is that I'm aware and I've
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:been guilty of this myself, but I've
certainly seen it in many people my dad
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:is actually a prime example of this.
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:Many people think that their work
should speak for itself rather
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:than them speak for themselves.
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:You get that?
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:Generally it doesn't people think,
oh, they don't really speak up,
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:they don't really hear from them.
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:They just keep their head down.
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:They're probably quite happy.
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:maybe they don't care about wanting
leadership positions they're just
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:doing lots and lots of work and
we'll leave them doing that whereas
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:speaking up might actually make
a bigger impact as you suggest.
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:my experience in business has been,
sometimes the people who speak up are
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:speaking up for the sake of speaking up.
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:And sometimes the people who speak
up do actually have something say,
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:do you think we should just speak?
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:You know that speaking up, no matter
what Or should we also be sure that
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:we have something of value to say,
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:Lucille Ossai: I think it's really
important you have something of value.
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:Otherwise don't really say anything.
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:I've coached people in the
past who have had that concern.
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:You know, quieter females, the female
professionals and they're terrified.
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:They had brilliant ideas,
but they were terrified.
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:And I said, okay, here's the thing.
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:You are ambitious.
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:You want to be taken seriously.
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:You want to go to the next
level, you have to speak up, or
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:here's what I want you to do.
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:Start small.
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:That is a point.
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:And I got this fantastic method
from, communications per Joel.
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:Schwartzberg, who I'm connected
with on LinkedIn and who wrote this
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:brilliant book, get to the point.
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:just having a clear point and
knowing how to communicate that
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:point in any section is immediately
going to make people take notice.
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:So you can imagine just having a series
of points in a series of meetings, and
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:from time to time just speak up and just
having the confidence even if your voice
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:shakes, because your voice will shake
if you're not accustomed to speaking.
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:And you could experience all
those, symptoms, dry mouth, racing
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:heart and so on and so forth.
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:But don't let those physiological
reactions get in the way
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:of making a clear point.
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:if you've been holding onto that
point and you're just waiting for the
331
:right time to give that point in a
meeting, and then somebody else says
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:the exact thing you wanted to say.
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:Don't panic.
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:just don't repeat what you've just heard.
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:You could put a new spin on it or
say, John had that breathing point I
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:would just like to add something to
what he just said, or give an example
337
:of why John's point is important.
338
:if nothing else comes to mind, do a recap.
339
:at the end of the meeting, say,
John has said something, IL has
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:said, why John has said that.
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:can we all agree on the right way forward?
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:when is our next meeting?
343
:do we all decide on emailing suggestions
at a certain time, just say something.
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:So that's one way you can
train yourself to do it.
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:if that is still daunting, or you
feel you're already a good speaker,
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:but not as good a writer, now is the
time to hone your writing skills.
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:start small, adhere to the rules of
effective communication I mentioned.
348
:So if I'm saying there are three things
I wanted to mention, and I mentioned
349
:one, and I mentioned two, and I can't
remember the third, the third thing
350
:is just to stress that the first
two things are important, and this
351
:leads me to the next point I want to
make about why we should continue.
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:Most people wouldn't
mind you taking a pause.
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:a pause of just a few seconds to
connect your thoughts, but it'll become
354
:really obvious if you start to stare
at the ceiling, I've seen this happen.
355
:people will be like,
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:What was I about to say?
357
:Well, it all becomes obvious, but
if you take a pause and just said,
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:and sometimes when I'm in a session.
359
:I actually even invite the audience.
360
:So I'm saying something and there's a
particular word, like, bear with me.
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:There's this word and I describe the word.
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:I get everybody involved, and
they're like, oh yeah, you mean that?
363
:I'm like, that's the one.
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:And then we continue.
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:So I think people are really
gracious and they would understand
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:that these things happen.
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:But what you don't want is to go blank,
and then you don't know how to recover.
368
:And then you are there standing
for two painful minutes trying to
369
:remember the point you're about
to make and it doesn't come.
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:And that actually
diminishes your credibility.
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:So take a breather, pause, say the
next thing, and just try to make sure
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:that you link the next point with what
you've just said, even if it's not
373
:the original point you wanted to say.
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:And this should practice.
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:John: Yeah.
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:I would add to that as well, but if
your communication hasn't gone well,
377
:whether it is a question a meeting
or a presentation or anything like
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:that, there's still a win there.
379
:The fact that you got up and did it,
the fact that you put yourself forward.
380
:don't diminish the win that you had.
381
:Maybe it wasn't great,
maybe you didn't get it.
382
:We want things to go better than they do.
383
:But you would be diminishing the win that
you had, that put yourself out there and
384
:sometimes when we put ourselves out there,
we get shot down or it doesn't go well.
385
:That's part Of the process
part of the learning journey.
386
:You see it as that the next time you do
it, it will be better, but don't think
387
:that because it didn't go well that
time that you shouldn't do it again.
388
:I think that would be the worst
thing you could take away.
389
:Right.
390
:Lucille Ossai: And I have a really
important something just came to mind.
391
:every year at the Lagos Business School,
we have an annual speaking competition.
392
:It's called a Mini Keeps
Keeping Competition.
393
:the MBA students from the cohorts,
compete and sometimes we have it in
394
:collaboration with other business
schools in Africa and beyond.
395
:last year.
396
:sometimes the MBAs, they, they
divide them into groups and they
397
:give them an industry to work on.
398
:So they are not, they're really smart
people, these MBAs, the Sharper Nails.
399
:So it could be of the oil and
gas industry, it could be on
400
:the banking industry and so on
401
:So, I remember this group, I can't
remember the industry, but there was a
402
:lady, an MBA student that was so nervous.
403
:she was presenting with her colleagues.
404
:I think she was the second person.
405
:there were about three of them.
406
:And you could hear her voice shaking
and she stumbled and stuff like that.
407
:And I just kept on staying in my mind.
408
:'cause I was in the audience.
409
:I had coached some of them.
410
:So I kept on saying, just stick with it.
411
:I was really rooting for it just.
412
:Just finish, stick with it and everything.
413
:She managed to finish her bit,
stumbled across her words.
414
:The audience applauded and
people kept on saying that.
415
:Even in the audience, I could
hear people saying, oh gosh, she
416
:was so nervous, but well done.
417
:She was fantastic.
418
:after the presentation I spoke
to the lady and she said, gosh,
419
:like that was really terrible.
420
:I said, no, but well done.
421
:You finished and you were still
able to get your point across.
422
:It can only get better.
423
:what really impressed me were people
in the audience who didn't know.
424
:they were applauding and I could
hear them saying, oh gosh, that
425
:must have been really difficult.
426
:what I took away from that experience
is that the audience is on your side.
427
:the audience the majority of them, are
on your side and they're rooting for you.
428
:So no matter how bad
an experience you have.
429
:stick to it to the bitter end.
430
:Learn from it.
431
:people realize how daunting
it is to get up to speak.
432
:Everybody has that fear.
433
:professionals have all their routines
and they have processes that help
434
:them to deal with the nerves, but
like you said, putting yourself
435
:out there would really help.
436
:And the more you do so, it may not
really go away, but the easier it gets.
437
:John: I like myself.
438
:I'm a more natural introvert, and
there are so many people who don't
439
:believe that because I do all
the podcasting and speaking, I do
440
:stand up comedy and all this stuff.
441
:my tendency is I like quiet time.
442
:I like to have time by myself and
I don't get particularly energized.
443
:I like being in big groups now and
again, but I have to limit it, I think
444
:I've moved myself more to being ambi.
445
:I'm somewhere more in the middle
with a tendency towards introversion.
446
:I think many people are.
447
:the reality is the more we do stuff,
the more we put ourselves out there.
448
:People understand how hard this
stuff is for the most part.
449
:And they will applaud because most of
them can't imagine themselves doing that.
450
:So they do see, alright,
you've done something that I
451
:don't think I could ever do.
452
:that's worthy of applause.
453
:It's not like, a New York
comedy club where you're gonna
454
:get booed off the stage Right.
455
:Exactly.
456
:this is very different.
457
:People.
458
:will support it.
459
:the worst critic we're ever
gonna get is inside our heads.
460
:we will always be around that.
461
:Lucille Ossai: We are so self-critical
that we think worse of our
462
:performance than we actually were.
463
:John: Absolutely.
464
:Lucille Ossai: And some of the things
you think people would've noticed,
465
:they're like, no, I didn't notice that.
466
:I just noticed, you know,
you're a bit, but no, I didn't.
467
:And you're like, you really,
didn't notice X, Y, Z.
468
:John: find I, I doing this things stand
comedy, I'll get up and do a routine.
469
:it'll be like five, 10 minutes on
stage, whatever, when I go off stage.
470
:You know, people have laugh people,
but a few minutes later people have
471
:mostly forgotten what it is all about.
472
:They're not, they're not
thinking about that anymore.
473
:They're watching the next act, or they're
enjoying the drinking each other, friends.
474
:Whereas me, I'm thinking about it for
hours afterwards or that Joe didn't go as
475
:well as I thought, or I could have landed,
or maybe I should have tried it this way.
476
:And, you know, the, I'm, I'm,
I'm the one who's gonna obsess
477
:over it and criticize myself.
478
:Yeah.
479
:We all, we all do it.
480
:And, and it's, it's natural.
481
:We shouldn't punish
ourselves but just be aware.
482
:You are probably perceived much
more highly than by others than
483
:you are doing for yourself.
484
:'cause I think some of us feel that
the external voices are gonna be
485
:negative as well, and they really are.
486
:You talk about something that
I don't see a lot of actually,
487
:and, I think it's important.
488
:I don't see a lot of people talking about.
489
:Writing skills when it comes to
effective communication, but you do.
490
:So I'd love to hear about
why you focus on that.
491
:And you've already mentioned
a little bit about how we can
492
:improve, our email writing skills.
493
:why is this so important and what are
the things that you recommend people
494
:do to improve their writing skills?
495
:Lucille Ossai: Okay, so writing
business, writing, to me, I think
496
:my skills in business writing
were what I was known for.
497
:And it's really funny because in my
first job I went outta university.
498
:I worked at a foreign embassy
in the business section and I
499
:had to do a lot of templates.
500
:I had to write a lot of reports and
so on and it's just something that
501
:I worked on and it became easier.
502
:I didn't do a lot of speaking,
but I did a lot of writing.
503
:So when I landed the job at Legal
Business School, I think This year will
504
:make it As the communications code.
505
:I had done some training here and there,
but I never really tackled the writing
506
:and it was like a baptism by fire.
507
:I scaled through the interview process
where I had to do the presentation.
508
:That was fine.
509
:And in my first session, I would always
remember this in my first session.
510
:Yeah.
511
:My mentor, yeah.
512
:Person I was reporting to told me,
oh, you know, you're just going to
513
:facilitate a session with the MBAs.
514
:I was like, okay, no problem.
515
:I walk into the class and it's packed.
516
:This was long before COVID, it was packed.
517
:So I went there and he told
me, oh no, I'll be in the room.
518
:You know, I'll be at
the back, have no fear.
519
:If you have any problems,
I'll come and help you out.
520
:So I was like, okay, he's at the back.
521
:I could see him, But then I noticed
midway he just left the room and
522
:I was really, really nervous.
523
:I had prepared and everything.
524
:I started to talk and I started
to write and I went back to him
525
:afterwards and I accused him, I
was like, oh, you abandoned me.
526
:He said, look, you are a communications
coach, not just a business writing coach.
527
:And that's why I started to
build the skills origin model.
528
:what I say is that because of the
competition in the business world,
529
:everybody at some point would speak,
but a lot of people don't write.
530
:And it's really, really strict.
531
:But we know, we write emails
every day apart from emails.
532
:Many people don't really
focus on the writing.
533
:if you are working in a, in the
back, in the back, I think they call
534
:it the backend or the back office.
535
:Your, your technical or your accountant
or your lawyer or, or something like that.
536
:You find that unless you make a serious
effort to improve your writing skills,
537
:you would end up not really writing.
538
:It's just one of those skills you
think, oh, I can do it until you
539
:have to start doing it consistently.
540
:this is what I have experienced,
especially with the executive MBAs.
541
:These are people that are
super sharp, very intelligent
542
:But when it comes down to the writing, I
get comments like, oh gosh, the last time
543
:I had to really write essays or articles
as when I was in university or when I
544
:was in secondary school, over time people
just concentrated on their technical
545
:skills and did less and less writing.
546
:Not that they couldn't write, but they
were not put in positions where they had
547
:to write consistently and persuasively.
548
:So that became a trend that I noticed.
549
:And then I found out also that a lot
of people don't read, and there's
550
:a correlation between reading well,
written material, and your writing.
551
:According to science, the more
you read and expose yourself to
552
:it, the better you get at writing.
553
:what I've noticed personally is that
when you read well-written materials,
554
:you begin to notice structures.
555
:You begin to notice grammar.
556
:The way grammar is used and manipulated
and broken, and still used in
557
:persuasive ways, you begin to notice
expressions, and then all these things
558
:end up seeping into your writing over
time, making you a better writer.
559
:even before I landed the job at
the Lagos Business School, already
560
:blogging for about six or eight
years, and I was blogging every month
561
:even before I got formally employed
562
:And I noticed the difference in my skill.
563
:It became sharp.
564
:I became more confident and all that.
565
:What I tell people is that.
566
:If you want to get the attention
of important people you may not
567
:even get the opportunity to speak.
568
:But write, they would notice
very good writing because so few
569
:people write well, It's amazing.
570
:that is the one way you can differentiate
yourself and the more you do it,
571
:the better you get it starts small.
572
:Yeah, but don't just rely on emails.
573
:You can start a blog.
574
:I tell everybody start a blog.
575
:And they're like, yeah, really?
576
:I say, yeah, started
block it doesn't matter.
577
:nobody reads it.
578
:just choose a topic you are
passionate about and choose
579
:a schedule and stick to it.
580
:So you could decide to block once a month.
581
:That is fine.
582
:You could decide, to do it twice a week.
583
:That is fine.
584
:But block, consistently and write.
585
:To the best of your ability.
586
:write as though, the New York Times,
for example, or a reputable magazine
587
:would pay you to publish your article.
588
:So that's the thing.
589
:that's the point I stress.
590
:I said don't just write, because if you're
just writing and you're not challenging
591
:yourself, then you're not improving.
592
:But write intentionally, check your
grammar, check the structure and all that.
593
:And just do that consistently.
594
:You would see an improvement
and that will help you.
595
:John: I personally feel it is funny that
I hadn't really thought about it that
596
:much until this conversation, but for me
writing is something that has helped me,
597
:not just to discover my writing voice, but
to discover my voice as a speaker as well.
598
:Yes, to help me figure out.
599
:my own opinions, my own decisions.
600
:Very often we spend so much time
being told what to think these days.
601
:And given opinions, that we rarely spend
much time developing our own we can just
602
:cherry pick from the ones around us.
603
:Whereas when you actually start working
on your own thoughts and feelings and
604
:opinions about things, you really do
start to find your own voice, your
605
:own style of writing and expression.
606
:And that is such a critical thing.
607
:I haven't focused on it
that much before, but I can
608
:completely understand why you do.
609
:Yeah.
610
:it is probably an element that I
might well even look at bringing
611
:into my own programs because of
understanding how important that is.
612
:here's my question for you.
613
:I guess we both understand, the value
of finding your own voice, but for
614
:those people who maybe sort of thinking,
well, I could just get on chat GPT
615
:and get that to do it all for me.
616
:Yes.
617
:Lucille Ossai: Yep.
618
:John: What would you say
to encourage them to this.
619
:Lucille Ossai: this is
a fantastic question.
620
:Especially now that business schools
around the world have come to realize
621
:that they have to prepare the graduates
and participants for a world where
622
:they can use TGP or any other AI
623
:But here's my thing, and this
is the same advice I give to
624
:people when I say read books and
don't just listen to audio books.
625
:Because when you read, you
begin to notice constructions.
626
:You begin to notice all those pink
can covering, and I say, please learn
627
:how to write and focus on writing and
improving your own writing skills to
628
:the point that it becomes easier for
you to break rules and to know how to
629
:use church, GTP to enhance writing.
630
:If you do it the other way round, you
will never, hone your writing skills.
631
:And be confused about the kind
of tone or voice or persona you
632
:want to present to the world.
633
:So it's a little bit like grammar.
634
:Know the rules of grammar.
635
:They know when you know how to break them.
636
:but you have to know the rules because
there are some grammatical rules that
637
:you cannot break as a professional.
638
:For example.
639
:and we're talking about business writing.
640
:Your name has to be capitalized.
641
:That's a grammatical rule.
642
:Rule is a proper, now
it must be capitalized.
643
:That is one rule you should not break.
644
:So take time to build your writing
skills and how do you do that?
645
:there are really only two ways
to become a better writer.
646
:two simple ways.
647
:when I tell them that,
they're like, really?
648
:I like, yeah, really read
well written material.
649
:This is critical.
650
:read novels.
651
:Read articles.
652
:Read opinion pieces.
653
:Just make sure they are written
well and you have a whole selection.
654
:read and then write.
655
:That's it.
656
:Read well-written material.
657
:Read beyond your field.
658
:So I'm a communication person.
659
:If I only read about communication
then I'm limiting myself.
660
:But if I read extensively, then I
begin to notice different things.
661
:Not only will I become more knowledgeable,
but I begin to notice different styles.
662
:when I'm writing, you
know, it just, I just pull.
663
:Yeah.
664
:And this is something you
do without realizing it.
665
:it all seeps into your mind and
translates into your writing.
666
:John: Yeah.
667
:Lucille Ossai: some expressions I used.
668
:I know for a fact that maybe two, three
years ago, I never used those expressions.
669
:How I came to start using them.
670
:I do not know, but I know it is
somewhere, somehow some material I've
671
:come across the way, something I've read
or something other people used and I
672
:thought, Hmm, I like that expression.
673
:And then put my own twist
on it and basically, yeah,
674
:assimilated it into my writing.
675
:John: it's inevitable
that we will assimilate.
676
:And I think that's all good.
677
:Good advice.
678
:The quality reading, not just
audio books, but actual reading.
679
:Great advice and doing the
practical writing skills.
680
:these are all like the Renaissance
person skills, you know, the stuff that
681
:really does make you potentially stand
out is that, well, if you wanna blend it
682
:with everyone else, do it the lazy way.
683
:let AI do it all for you
684
:But if you actually want to say
something worth saying and have your own.
685
:Takes on things and be able to write
really well and communicate really well.
686
:it's gonna take doing it the hard way.
687
:Lucille Ossai: it's no
688
:John: People don't like to hear this, but
689
:Lucille Ossai: yeah.
690
:John: The thing is, it's worth doing that.
691
:That's the reality of it.
692
:It will never get you To the top levels.
693
:Lucille Ossai: Absolutely.
694
:Writing has for me, yeah.
695
:People have been able to
reach through my writing.
696
:I've been able to challenge, some high
authorities and all that, and not because
697
:I, not because influencer or anybody,
but just because I was able to craft
698
:and writing well will get you notice.
699
:You might not get the desired results,
but you would definitely get a response.
700
:I tell anybody if everything else fails
and you need to make a point, or you
701
:need to open some doors, or you need
something to move, then you should write.
702
:I've written to different organizations.
703
:I've written to different people.
704
:when I was writing my Facebook, I
said, okay, I'm be really ambitious.
705
:Who am I going to contact
to invite to interview?
706
:And I thought, who do I really admire?
707
:some other people admired some decline.
708
:Some said, okay, you know, COVID
we're just getting into COVID and
709
:everything, and, they couldn't And I
said, no, the Obamas to me, I think
710
:Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, they
are among my top 10 communicators So I
711
:said, you know what, I'm gonna write.
712
:So I wrote, I wrote to the O banners,
I wrote to Michelle oban, wrote,
713
:you know, had my whole story on
my pitch, Of course, she declined,
714
:or her press people declined.
715
:But you know what?
716
:I saved that note.
717
:from time to time I look at it
718
:The fact that they even responded to
me was modern enough and it wasn't
719
:a one-liner, it was a considerate,
somebody took time to respond.
720
:I was like, hmm, I would like to
think that not everybody who writes
721
:would get that kind of response.
722
:to me That was just an example.
723
:And I usually say sometimes at the end
of the writing program, once you know
724
:the rules and commit to the discipline
of writing, there is nobody on the
725
:planet you would not be able to write to.
726
:And I mean that sincerely, you
know, you'll get to that point.
727
:Whereby like, okay, oh, they
say right to Donald Trump.
728
:You are like, Hmm, okay.
729
:Donald Trump.
730
:Okay.
731
:You analyze him do your research.
732
:But yeah.
733
:who never knows, you know, the first
rule of communication, know your orders.
734
:You know what is
important to Donald Trump.
735
:If you know what's important to him,
there's a way you're gonna craft that
736
:note and you would get a response.
737
:I'm glad you brought up, the point
of about writing, and why my book, I
738
:tackled different communication themes.
739
:I did the nonverbal, I did the business
writing, I did the public speaking.
740
:But out of the three, if you commit to
writing well it takes a lot of work.
741
:I've been doing it for over 20 years
from my first job I became really steeped
742
:in it when I started my blog, and I've
been doing my blog now for 13 years.
743
:From, oh, I can't do the math
right now, but I started in 20
744
:John: Yeah,
745
:Lucille Ossai: Every month.
746
:personally, it's a struggle sometimes.
747
:I'm like, my God, it's
the end of the month.
748
:I've written on the last day at
2 59, I've posted my blog first.
749
:I did not want to miss that.
750
:John: I respect that level of commitment.
751
:I really do.
752
:Yeah.
753
:I, I, I also like, as well that
yeah, what, what you said really
754
:demonstrates that even, even, uh,
someone declining an invite or Yeah.
755
:Which many people, that is a rejection.
756
:Yeah.
757
:When it's done, when it's not
just done generically, when
758
:is that a considered response?
759
:Lucille Ossai: Yes.
760
:John: That is it, it's
still valuable to you.
761
:Lucille Ossai: Absolutely.
762
:John: Uh, and, and potentially even shows.
763
:Okay, well, it might be worth.
764
:Taking some of that and
trying again later on or so?
765
:Yep.
766
:Absolutely.
767
:Absolutely.
768
:Stuff like that stays with you.
769
:I, I had a, a, a, uh, an application
with saying last year that I got rejected
770
:for, but the response was so considered,
I actually felt really good about it.
771
:It's like, all right, I understood exactly
why I didn't get it and, and what no.
772
:Gave me some things to work on.
773
:I thought that was really valuable.
774
:One thing I do want to make sure
we get to, if it's okay, but with
775
:the, before we wrap up this Yes.
776
:Very, very interesting conversation.
777
:I'd love to hear a little bit about
how you are helping to prepare the next
778
:generation of business leaders at the
Lagos Business School and what you see,
779
:like what, what inspires you or gives
you hope for the future for them at them.
780
:Lucille Ossai: Okay, so that's a
fantastic question and um, more and
781
:more we are getting requests and
leadership development and communication.
782
:And I think in addition to all the
skills that the leaders have, I think
783
:it's critical that they take their
communication skills seriously and
784
:that they, they either do some training
or they just get better acquaintance.
785
:'cause their ability for them to
be able to communicate well will
786
:translate into business results.
787
:I have some, I have a, a very good,
I think, research findings and I can
788
:remember, so when I was writing my
book, I came across this research
789
:by the kechum Kechum Leadership
Communication Monitor Group.
790
:Yeah.
791
:And they did some research in
:
792
:So they analyzed the perceptions
of 6,500 people across 13 countries
793
:on the link between effective
communication and great leadership.
794
:And they came up with different,
um, different points, but
795
:two to caught my attention.
796
:So the first they realized
that open communication was
797
:important to effective leadership.
798
:Communication was ranked
the top attribute.
799
:Um, at that time, 74% believing
that open communication was
800
:essential to great leadership.
801
:74.
802
:So that's significant.
803
:Meanwhile, I think I have it here,
29% felt that the leaders were
804
:not communicating effectively.
805
:Yeah.
806
:So there was like a 45, 45 points gap
between the expectation and delivery.
807
:To me, that was, wow.
808
:That was really, really important.
809
:Another really important point that
they, they, they uncovered was that, um,
810
:leadership communication directly impacted
the bottom line leadership communication.
811
:Yeah.
812
:With 61% of the people surveyed,
boycotting the company's, uh, products
813
:and all that because of poor leadership.
814
:It's to also communicate
here to internally.
815
:They have to see the communication.
816
:They have to feel that
the communication is open.
817
:And then your, your actions has to have
to match your, yeah, whatever you say.
818
:Yeah.
819
:So your, your actions
have to be consistent.
820
:And of course, by the time you begin
to work on your communications,
821
:'cause you begin to hold emotional
intelligence, you begin to know how to
822
:address some things, how to deal with
opposition, how to regulate your own
823
:emotions as well, to be able to put
the best foot forward so you wouldn't
824
:have the knee jack reaction reactions.
825
:You have the C CEOs waking up one
day and just saying, you know what?
826
:Come to work every day.
827
:Otherwise 60% of you are fired.
828
:Or, uh, so something
along, along those lines.
829
:Yeah.
830
:After all these things end up
influencing attitudes and behaviors in
831
:your organization and also influences
the perceptions people outside
832
:your organization have all of you.
833
:So I think that, I think this,
that research was mind blowing, chu
834
:in case you are interested in it.
835
:So I remember, of course, it's similar
to catch up, so it's not catch up.
836
:Yeah, it's, yeah.
837
:Yeah, that
838
:John: would help me as well.
839
:I do, yeah.
840
:Lucille Ossai: That's how I,
that's how I remembered it.
841
:So it's catchum Leadership
communication monitor group.
842
:So the 2014
843
:John: worth checking out.
844
:Yeah, that's checking out.
845
:Lucille Ossai: Fantastic.
846
:Fantastic.
847
:John: It's,
848
:Lucille Ossai: yeah.
849
:Thought that it was the
top ranking attributes.
850
:John: So this is good that you're,
you are, you are making sure that, um,
851
:the, the young business leaders coming
through the Legos business School right
852
:now are, uh, equipped for this and
ready this before they even hit the.
853
:Yes.
854
:Working well or in, uh, well, I assume
many of them are just getting started.
855
:Some of them may be doing their
business degrees a bit later on.
856
:But from what you've seen and from
your experience of working with these
857
:people, what, what are your feelings
about the, the future of business
858
:leadership that, that's coming up now?
859
:Lucille Ossai: I think
I'm very optimistic.
860
:We're getting, I think Nigeria, we
have a very vibrant young population.
861
:Yeah, I think we are over, we're over
200 million, but we have a significant
862
:percentage of the population being young.
863
:And these youngsters, they are brilliant.
864
:They're coming up with different
innovations, with different stick.
865
:So I go into those sessions, not just
with the executives, well, the young ones.
866
:Not just thinking, oh, I'm just
going to Lord over, you know, just
867
:going to tell them that this is it.
868
:I'm the expert.
869
:I go in.
870
:Also learn it because
they will challenge you.
871
:They'll ask you, no, but what about this?
872
:What about this?
873
:Or shouldn't you consider?
874
:And that's what I end up learning.
875
:I end up learning as well, you know,
so I'm very optimistic about them.
876
:I do, I do worry that sometimes if
they leave the, the, the environment,
877
:the business school environment, that
they may be too busy to take their
878
:communication skills seriously until
such a time whereby they are compelled
879
:to do so, and by that time it's too late.
880
:So what I hope to be able to, um,
inspire them to do is to start, well,
881
:to start well in the business school
and to just keep with it, you know,
882
:to keep up the momentum and not to
not to get tired, and not to drop off
883
:the, because by the time they leave,
you know, they're not, we're not gonna
884
:be grading their writing anymore.
885
:We're not gonna be grading their writing,
we're not gonna be grading their speaking.
886
:But these are skills that they
would need at the workplace.
887
:So it is my hope, and it is my mission
as well, that, um, I basically.
888
:Plant the seed.
889
:Yeah.
890
:The seed of discipline.
891
:I think that's the best way to put
it, to plant the seed of discipline,
892
:communication, advancements and training.
893
:And, uh, just holding their
communication skills so that
894
:they can continue the journey.
895
:It's a never ending journey.
896
:I tell them all the time.
897
:I said, despite being in the field for,
for a number of years, I constantly read,
898
:I, I'm always interested in new insight.
899
:AI came up just I think three years ago.
900
:Yeah.
901
:Before that we didn't have ai.
902
:And AI is disrupting a lot of things,
you know, and it's something that we,
903
:professionals and communication trainers
and facilitators, we, there's something
904
:we should also take note of, you know, so
I'm using ai, but there are some things.
905
:I don't use ai, I refuse to use ai, do,
you know, for my articles, whatever.
906
:But the other day I, I copied and pasted,
um, an entire article into Claude.
907
:Yeah.
908
:And I just said, just do this into,
uh, you know, I dunno, into a LinkedIn.
909
:For LinkedIn infographic, and he did all
the coding and I was just fascinated.
910
:It was just call it, call
it, call it, call it coding.
911
:And I said, show me the visual.
912
:And he show me something beautiful.
913
:I said, no, take this out, do this.
914
:And I just sat back
and it just did it all.
915
:John: Save a lot of time.
916
:Yeah.
917
:That's what it should be doing.
918
:Yeah.
919
:Lucille Ossai: That's
what should be doing.
920
:John: Should be making life easier for
us, but not replacing replacing it.
921
:Lucille Ossai: That's a fine line.
922
:There's
923
:John: a fine line.
924
:Yeah.
925
:My, my, my biggest fear, well I maybe
it should be big, maybe bigger business,
926
:but one of my fears with a AI is that
it's, uh, and, and could end up being
927
:the death of creativity for people.
928
:Lucille Ossai: Yes.
929
:Yeah.
930
:John: If, uh, because AI has been scraping
other people's creativity and mm-hmm.
931
:Using that and sharing out to us all and
democratizing creativity, but mm-hmm.
932
:If it takes away the need
for creatives mm-hmm.
933
:Um, we're not gonna get new creativity.
934
:There's not, we're gonna be
stuck in a rut of creativity.
935
:Uh, yes.
936
:That's one of the, I worry the
things, one of the things coming.
937
:Lucille Ossai: Yes.
938
:I worry that eventually there'll
be a lot of books written by ai.
939
:It's already happening.
940
:Yeah, it's already happening, but
then there would still be a demand.
941
:In fact, there'll be identity, there'll
be more of a demand for that human
942
:touch and that human and flawed out.
943
:John: I hope that's the
way it goes, Lizzie.
944
:I really do.
945
:Uh, I know, we know, we know your
book wasn't written by ai, uh, and
946
:you have, uh, uh, an influence of
s it covers a lot of the things
947
:we've talked about today and more.
948
:Um, tell us a little bit about how
people can, um, get hold of the book
949
:or get in, uh, get in contact with
you if they want to find out more.
950
:Lucille Ossai: Okay.
951
:So I'm on LinkedIn
basically every other day.
952
:Yeah.
953
:But, um, they could also send me an
email, so lucille@lucilleside.com,
954
:visit my website, ton of information
with a link to my blog that has a lot
955
:of articles, you know, free articles and
on different aspects of communication.
956
:So that would be good.
957
:My book is available, Amazon Waterstone,
basically multiple retailers,
958
:libraries in about six continents.
959
:And this is what it looks like.
960
:John: Awesome.
961
:Well, there, there will
be links for all of these.
962
:Well, everything for everything you
mentioned, links in the show notes
963
:linked in the YouTube description.
964
:So go and take a look there and
just click on one of those links
965
:and decide which one you want.
966
:Whether, whether it's reach out
on LinkedIn, whether check out
967
:the website or shoot an email.
968
:Lucille Ossai: Yeah,
969
:John: pick one and or
970
:Lucille Ossai: connect with me.
971
:Re I'm always happy to learn about, you
know, the greatest emails or the most
972
:valuable emails to me are people that
know, okay, I maybe read your blog or I
973
:attended your whatever training, or I went
on your blog and I took something away and
974
:I implemented it and this is the result.
975
:I think that, that, that is,
that is, but that's what's,
976
:John: and if you can send
an email, get to the point.
977
:Right.
978
:Lucille Ossai: I'll send the, I would read
it, trust that I would read it, but it
979
:does sound people sue, get to the point.
980
:Yeah.
981
:John: Lucille, it's been an absolute
delight to have you on the show and
982
:you shared so much good information.
983
:You've given me some things
to think about as well.
984
:Thank you for coming and sharing
your expertise with us today.
985
:Lucille Ossai: Thank you for having me.
986
:John: Here's the truth, then
your voice is your power.
987
:Lucille reminded us that influence isn't
reserved for executives or extroverts,
988
:it's built by anyone willing to show up,
speak clearly, and write with purpose.
989
:So don't wait to be noticed.
990
:Decide today to communicate with
clarity, courage, and consistency.
991
:And if this episode gave you something
to think about, maybe share it with
992
:someone who needs to hear this.
993
:And make sure you hit subscribe so
you never miss these conversations.
994
:Because the world doesn't
change when you stay quiet.
995
:It changes when you speak up.
996
:See you next time.