Episode 187
Do You Have The Courage To Be Successful?
The Courage to Break Through: Insights on Influence and Overcoming Self-Doubt
Summary
In this episode of Present Influence, John reflects on his recent interview with Lida Citroen and delves deeper into the theme of courage. He underscores the importance of courage in breaking through self-doubt and achieving success and emphasizes how overthinking and lack of action often hold individuals back.
John shares personal and professional experiences to illustrate the necessity of pushing beyond one's comfort zone and he encourages listeners to seek external support and mentorship to overcome challenges and advance towards their goals.
Lastly, he introduces his next guest, Adam Hunt from White Label Comedy, and teases an upcoming discussion on using humour in business marketing.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Recap of Last Episode
00:55 Welcome to Present Influence
01:38 The Importance of Courage
02:46 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Fear
07:02 Choosing Your Challenges
09:25 Seeking Help and Mentorship
16:25 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview
Go to presentinfluence.com to get your copy of my guide to building authority through podcast guesting and for speaking enquiries or connect with me on LinkedIn
Thanks for listening and please give the show a 5* review if you enjoyed it.
Transcript
I promised last episode that I would come back and record a few of my
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:follow on thoughts and dive a little
deeper into some of the themes that
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:came up in my conversation, my interview
with Leda Citron on my last episode.
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:Great interview, one of my favorites
actually, and it's certainly a high
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:value conversation that if you haven't
already checked it out, I would
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:encourage you to go and listen to.
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:Lida is the author of a great book
called The New Rules of Influence,
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:where she talks really about how.
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:Anyone can have more influence and
everyone should have more influence
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:and some of the things that we need
to be thinking about doing in order
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:to have that and that's what I want
to get into today and there's one key
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:element of it and I think it was one
of the key things for Lida as well,
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:but something that really struck me and
got me thinking about a lot of things
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:going on for myself and with clients and
people I've worked with over the years.
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:It really spreads very far,
but it's a core concept and
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:I want to share it with you.
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:So welcome to Present Influence the
show that helps coaches, speakers and
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:business leaders develop the communication
skills to impact influence and inspire.
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:My name is John Ball.
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:I'm a keynote coach, professional
speaker, and your guide on this
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:journey to mastery level communication.
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:And presentation skills.
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:My mission is to provide professional
communicators like you with everything you
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:need to maximize your impact, connect with
the audiences and present with influence.
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:Follow the show on your favorite
podcast app for weekly episodes and
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:interviews with influence experts.
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:And if we're not already connected
on LinkedIn, come and connect with me
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:there and check out the weekly present
influence newsletter that you can access.
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:So, to come back to what we were
talking about with Lida, and the
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:thing that really stayed with me
the most from that conversation,
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:was the concept of having courage.
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:And the more I thought about it, the
more I thought about how important
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:that And where we often lack courage.
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:And I'll tell you something
that comes up and I may have
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:mentioned it in previous episodes.
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:So it may not be an unfamiliar
idea to some of you.
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:But very often, I found and other
coaches and people I've worked with,
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:find that you will work so hard and
get to a certain point, and then find
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:yourself pulling back and struggling to
understand how and why that's happening.
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:And I think it is, to some degree,
a level of getting so far out of our
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:comfort zone, that we maybe get to a
feeling that we're about to attempt a
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:tightrope walk without a safety net.
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:And we've never done it before.
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:It's maybe understandable that
a high level of fear or doubt
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:starts to creep up and has us
questioning ourselves, pulling back.
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:It is this whole principle of people
who are big thinkers, and I'm hesitant
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:to say intelligent because there's so
many different types of intelligence,
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:but maybe people who know that they are
over thinkers and have maybe the kind
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:of intelligence that has them always
asking questions about themselves.
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:Those are the people I'm one of them
too, who often find yourself Questioning
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:and questioning, whereas very often
people who have much more maybe active
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:intelligence where they will go for it
and make things happen and less time
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:questioning about it are the ones who
get results faster because they're not
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:slowing themselves down to do that.
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:And so it does take I think a level of
courage to push through what ultimately
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:is a, what would we call it, a critical
point as we are perturbating, you
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:know, considering ourselves and our
options and our place in the world and
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:wherever else is coming up for us, If we
overdo that, we're not pushing through.
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:We retreat into our heads, into our minds,
and we get too cerebral about everything,
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:and as a result, we become uncertain.
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:As a result, we become doubtful of taking
action, and so we hold ourselves back.
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:We'll get to a certain point of,
I wouldn't even say, it's not even
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:necessarily discomfort, but a certain
point of being so far along with
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:something that shit's about to get real.
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:And at that point, we may find ourselves
starting to pull back from that.
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:And this is where courage really matters.
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:To push through, to keep going,
even if It's slow progress
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:to keep doing something.
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:Keep yourself on the track, get
coaching, get extra accountability,
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:ask for help from friends, trusted
guides, whoever you have in your life
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:or whoever you're aware of that you
know could help you to push through
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:this and get to the other side of it.
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:Because without that, You will always
find yourself only ever getting so
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:far along with something, and then, we
often call this thing the shiny object
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:syndrome, but looking for something
that's gonna seem easier, but it's
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:not really even that's the case.
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:It's more a case of, we're just going
to repeat that pattern over again,
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:and we're going to get to that same
position over again where, where
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:it's about to get really real, and
we are not feeling prepared for it.
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:Or we don't know, we don't know
how to be, how to do, how to
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:act at that particular point.
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:And all that uncertainty
becomes overwhelming.
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:And so we look for certainty again.
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:We look for something that looks
like a bigger opportunity for us.
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:Or an easier opportunity
and much more appealing.
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:We can start to make lots
of progress with that.
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:And we can feel really happy and
excited because we're taking action
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:still, but we're not breaking through.
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:So if you really want to break through,
you're going to have to get clear either.
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:If you can't do it by yourself, get some
external input to help guide you through
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:to the things that you need to be doing
actively to get to the other side of this
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:as challenging and maybe even painful not
physically so much but more emotionally
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:or mentally difficult challenging
painful in some to some degree it's
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:hard to get to the other side of that.
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:But you can, and that is why your
courage is needed, because if it wasn't
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:going to be a big challenge for you,
you wouldn't need to be courageous.
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:You just wouldn't need it.
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:It would be easy.
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:Everyone would be able to do it.
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:You've probably heard that thing
before of, success is hard, but
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:so is the opposite of success.
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:Failure is hard.
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:Struggle is hard.
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:Choose your hard.
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:Choose your difficult.
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:And this is where we have to put
it into the context of exercise.
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:Getting fit is hard.
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:Believe me, I know, I'm trying to, trying
to This is my journey at the moment.
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:Getting fit, getting in shape is hard.
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:But being an overweight catch potato
is also hard for different reasons.
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:Hard on your health, hard on your energy,
hard on your results, hard on your Self
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:image, that's also hard, maybe even
harder in some ways, but the getting
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:up every day, going and exercising,
developing consistency, growing and
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:pushing yourself, that's hard too, in a
different way, but what, which level of
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:hard are you going to choose, still takes
courage to, to do that, believe me, it
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:takes, it takes some courage for me to
put on a, to put on swimming trunks and
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:go and have a swim in a pool where people
can see me, that, that Takes a certain
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:degree of courage, but once having done
it a certain amount of times, you start
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:to realize people don't really care.
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:People are maybe more
focused on themselves.
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:And to my experience actually is that the
people who I regularly see at the swimming
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:pool, at the gym, are very friendly.
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:And so there's almost a bit of community
there, which makes it less hard.
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:But if I didn't push through, I
wouldn't have got to that point.
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:And there's still further to go.
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:This is a thing for us as speakers, as
coaches, as professional communicators.
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:There's going to be these levels
that you would like to get to.
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:You probably have an idea, some idea
of what success looks like for you.
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:But are you really prepared to do what it
will take to hit that level of success?
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:Do you really want it?
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:You have to want it and you have
to then be courageous for it.
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:Get clear on what actually ha Get clear
on what has to happen to get there.
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:If you know where you would like to
be professionally by the end of this
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:year, work backwards from there.
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:What are the actions that are
going to help you do that?
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:What are the relationships that you need
to develop to help you get there as well?
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:Where do you need to be putting yourself
in order to achieve these outcomes?
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:It's gonna mean stepping
outside of your comfort zone.
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:Good news is you don't
have to do it alone.
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:There's people like me around who
will help you do that whether that's
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:listening to the podcast or whether
that's working together one on one or
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:in a group format, or with with me or
with Whoever else, there are people who
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:can support you through this journey.
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:I have my own coaches and I
hope you do too, because it's
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:very hard to do this alone.
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:We spend a lot of our lives.
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:If we are self employed speakers or
coaches, business owners, we very often
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:will spend a lot of our lives, a lot
of our professional lives by ourselves.
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:Now, even if we do attend networking
meetings or try and keep up to some
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:degree with a social group, or have
some people working with us, maybe
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:we're doing Zoom meetings and stuff,
but it's still not the same as a lot of
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:the physical interaction and connection.
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:Being live in person with other people is
very different energy to virtual meetings.
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:We know this.
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:And very often we miss a lot
of it because we spend so much
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:time working by ourselves.
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:That can lead us into emotional
states that aren't really
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:super supportive for us.
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:But it can also lead us in having
to, having to be everything, not
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:just having to be everything in
our business, but having to be
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:everything to ourselves as well.
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:Having to be the cheerleader,
having to be the coach, having
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:to be the mentor for ourselves.
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:We just can't do it all.
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:It's okay to ask for help.
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:It's not a sign that you
failed or any kind of weakness.
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:It's actually a sign of strength.
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:One of the things I wish I'd done the
soonest when I first started out in
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:business for myself was finding a mentor.
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:I really wish I'd done that.
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:I certainly found a coach, but I
really needed a mentor, someone who
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:could show me how to work through the
different levels of growing a business
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:and making it work, make it become
sustainable, develop consistency, have
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:all the essential things in place.
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:Because I didn't have the first clue about
running a business or getting clients.
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:I just thought you create
it and they will come.
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:I very much have that and I see
so many people do that these days.
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:Oh, I'll put my website up.
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:People will just come now.
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:It doesn't work that way.
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:I've got started my podcast.
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:People will come.
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:It doesn't work that way.
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:You started your coaching business.
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:Clients will come.
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:It doesn't work that way.
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:We know it doesn't and you will
always hear these rare stories of
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:someone who just, who everything
comes super easy to them.
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:Don't resent that.
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:You know, there's a whole principle
of resistance that we create
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:ourselves if we resent other
people's good luck or success.
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:We don't even really know if
it is good luck or success.
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:If somebody gets to certain levels of
success without any level of challenge
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:or growth in order to do that, they're
probably not going to be able to sustain
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:it or they're not going to even have
the best experience whilst they do that.
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:You just don't know.
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:So don't rush to judge
these people negatively.
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:Because you don't know how things
are going to work out for them.
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:You don't know what's going on
under the surface for anybody.
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:Don't resent it in other people.
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:Celebrate it.
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:Be happy for what they have that
you might want for yourself.
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:Sometimes I say, sure, sometimes
we might appreciate a bit
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:less challenge in our lives.
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:And some of the challenges we
don't always have control of.
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:But very often, not always, but very
often, one of the things that can
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:really hold us back is not being more
intentional in our lives about what it
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:is we want to be, do, have and create.
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:So a lot of the challenges that we can
end up facing are ones that we haven't
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:chosen, that we just end up in by, By
default rather than intention instead
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:of the ones that we choose for ourselves
because when we choose our own path
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:and when we forge our way along as
difficult and challenging as that can be.
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:What our experience will tend to
show, that the challenges we face
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:are the ones that we have chosen,
and we feel ready to meet those.
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:Now of course there's always going to
be some challenges in our lives that are
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:curveballs, that are things we didn't
choose, that we have no control over.
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:But there are so many elements that we
can have some degree of control or at
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:least influence over, much more than we
do if we just have life happen to us,
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:rather than be intentional and proactive
for ourselves and our business and
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:our lives and have the courage to push
through even when things get challenging.
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:So I don't know what your dreams
are as a speaker or as a coach, as
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:a professional communicator, but I
would love to, I'd love to hear them.
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:And you can certainly get in
touch with me on LinkedIn.
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:You can go to presentinfluence.
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:com and visit the website and
drop me a line through that.
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:I I don't mind how I hear from you, but
I would love to hear what it is you want
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:to achieve, and if anything I've spoken
like today resonates with you at all,
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:where are the places that you perhaps
feel that you need a bit of help to
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:find the courage and push through to get
to the level that you want to get to?
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:I not that long ago worked with
a friend of mine, Kerry, and
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:Kerry is, uh, an amazing person.
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:She's in a mastermind group that I'm in.
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:And she asked if we could
work together a bit.
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:And I said, sure, I'd
love to work with her.
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:She thinks she's a fantastic person.
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:One of the things we realized working
together is like she'd known for quite a
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:while that her keynote speeches weren't
really getting the effect or the results
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:that she was wanting them to get.
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:Now.
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:I don't know exactly how long that
was going on for, but certainly longer
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:than it needed to point where I know I
only had to look at the outline for the
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:keynote talk to realize straight away
one of the main things that was wrong
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:there and that needed to be looked at
to start making some positive changes
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:and moving on the way and sometimes
the answers can be really simple.
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:To the things that we may be hold
ourselves back in because of what we
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:don't know because of what we don't apply
because of what we sometimes are afraid
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:of and because we do sometimes struggle
to find the courage to ask for help to
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:to push on through and keep going when
sometimes it feels easier to maybe stay
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:where we are or maybe even pull back now I
want for you only great things I want your
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:success is the whole point of this show.
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:The whole reason that present influence
has been running as a podcast for
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:over five years now is to hopefully
help and make a difference for you
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:in the outcomes that you want to be,
do, have and create in your life.
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:And so here's what I'll finish with today.
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:If you don't have clarity right now.
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:On what success looks like for you
or what you really need to be doing
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:in order to help get you there.
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:I want to invite you to come
and have a conversation with me.
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:Book a free discovery call through
my website, presentinfluence.
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:com.
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:We'll have a chat, we'll help get you on
the way to whatever it is you want to be.
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:Whether that's us working together or
whether it's pointing you, just helping
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:to point you in the right direction.
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:Whatever that ends up looking is
fine, but it will cost you nothing
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:except 15 minutes of your time.
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:At the most to have that conversation
and help you at least reset your
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:compass as to where you want to get to
and have a bit of clarity and strategy
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:for how you're going to get there.
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:And if I'm not the person you want
to have that conversation with,
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:that's fine, have that conversation
with someone else, but do have the
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:conversation, and don't stay stuck.
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:Your dreams, your goals, your
outcomes, are achievable.
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:if you can find the courage to
ask for help and push on through.
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:Next time on the show, I'm going to be
talking with Adam Hunt from White Label
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:Comedy and we're going to be talking
about the products and services that
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:he has created for his business that
are helping business owners to create
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:marketing strategies and online content in
a way that really stands out, with humor.
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:Because it's so hard to stand
out in the online world.
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:Humor is one of the key elements
that can really do that for us.
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:It may not be that for everyone, but if
humor is something that your brand could
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:stand with a little bit more of, and maybe
even fits with your style of doing things.
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:You really won't want to miss that
episode with Adam Hunt next week.
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:So please do tune in for that.
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:And if you haven't listened to my
conversation about The New Rules of
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:Influence with Lida Citroen, please
do go back and check that out.
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:If you're not already following
the show, please do make sure that
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:you hit that follow button so that
you get future episodes, as well as
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:checking out whatever other episodes
you might be interested in from was
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:quite an extensive back catalog.
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:But for now, wherever you're
going, whatever you're doing,
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:have an amazing rest of your
day, and we'll see you next time.
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:Take care.
