Episode 191

Common Obstacles To Success For Speakers & Coaches + Strategies To Overcome Them

Overcoming Obstacles to Success: Avoiding Common Pitfalls for Coaches and Speakers

Summary

In this solo episode of Present Influence, John, despite battling the flu, shares insights and personal experiences on overcoming common obstacles to success.

He emphasises issues such as taking on too many unimportant tasks, the fallacy of busywork, and the importance of niching down as a coach or speaker.

John also discusses the significance of focusing on actionable steps rather than just the end goals, strategies for maintaining self-motivation, overcoming self-doubt, and the inevitable nature of change.

Listening to this episode will offer strategies to help coaches, speakers, and consultants streamline their journey to success.

You can listen to The Coaching Clinic's episode on Niching here: John & Angie talk niching

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update

00:49 Common Obstacles to Success

10:09 The Importance of Niching Down

15:43 Focusing on Actions Over Results

19:03 Staying Motivated and Consistent

24:19 Honorable Mentions and Conclusion

Go to presentinfluence.com to get your copy of my guide to building authority through podcast guesting and for speaking enquiries or connect with me on LinkedIn

Thanks for listening and please give the show a 5* review if you enjoyed it.

Transcript
John:

Welcome to the show.

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I was having a real debate as to

whether or not to record this because

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I am still stuffed up and full of flu.

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It's not gone away yet.

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And so my voice is not the best.

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It might be a little deeper and

huskier than you're used to from

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me, but I hope you can deal with it

and put up with me maybe sounding

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a bit more ASMR for this episode.

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I didn't want to leave you without

a solo episode this week, cause I've

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been enjoying doing them and, this

is just the time for some one on one.

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And so I one of the things that was coming

up for me, I wanted to follow on from

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what I've been doing on previous Fridays.

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Like last week, I was talking

about some of the mindset around

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getting booked and asking for the

price that you're actually worth.

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And we're talking about even before

that do we believe that we deserve

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and are willing to work for success?

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Today then I wanted to talk about

what some of the most common obstacles

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people tend to face are on their

journey to success as a coach, speaker,

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consultant, really many things in life.

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Awareness is always the first step

to change, but we might already know.

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No guests today, this

one is just me and you.

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If you've ever felt stuck and been a

little bit unsure about why, or you

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find that you get to a certain point

with something and then struggle to go

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any further, or worry that the level

of success you want is beyond you, then

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this episode is definitely for you.

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I'm going to share with you what's been

one of my own biggest obstacles to success

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and how I deal and have dealt with it.

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But I'm also going to share with you

some of the commonalities that I've

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seen in nearly 15 years of coaching

speakers and business coaches.

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Welcome to Present Influence the show

that helps coaches, speakers, and

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communication professionals develop the

skills to impact influence and inspire.

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My name's John Ball, keynote

coach, professional speaker,

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and your guide on the journey to

mastery level presentation skills.

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My mission is to provide professional

communicators like you with

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everything you need to maximize your

impact and present with influence.

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Follow the show on your favorite

podcast app for weekly episodes and

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interviews with influence experts.

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Do you join me on LinkedIn for the

Present Influence weekly newsletter?

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And if you haven't already done

so, please do leave us a five

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star review on your podcast app.

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It does help other people to know

that this is a high value show.

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Certainly there are many things that can

come up as obstacles and probably if any

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of us have been in coaching professionally

for some space of time, we may have ended

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up coaching other people on stuff that

we are really challenged with ourselves.

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It's very commonly the case.

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It's been said many times that most

coaching is self coaching, which

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may be true, but realistically

no true coaching of course is

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really about asking questions.

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So if we're talking more about moving

past that, some of this might be a

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little more consultative or even mindset

mentoring to help people push past the

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blockages that they tend to experience.

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And you've probably experienced this

with clients or with people that you've

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come across in your professional life.

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I think any professional communicator,

even if you don't do coaching as

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part of your business, probably

ends up in some kinds of coaching

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situations from time to time.

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One of the things that I found coming

up for people over and over again,

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and this is certainly probably my own

biggest challenge, and it's something I

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have to check in with all the time, is

taking on too many things all at once.

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Or potentially doing too many unimportant

things, things that aren't actually making

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you money but make you feel busy, and

when we've been busy, we tend to feel

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that we should see some results from that.

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It doesn't always follow.

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I'll share this with you.

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I got asked this on a

coaching call one time that

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One of my clients in a group coaching call

he said, I'm of the understanding that if

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I give a certain percentage of my income,

that I will get back more than that.

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Really?

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Why are you under that preconception?

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What's led you to that?

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Definitely very curious about this.

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And he said this is what I've been told.

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Give this part of my income away and

you'll get back more than you give.

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But that's not how anything works.

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This is, to me, daydream land.

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How could that possibly work?

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You give something away

and you get back more.

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I like the idea of that principle

and if that was real, then

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wonderful, give away all your stuff.

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I definitely encourage people

to give money if you can.

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If you can give money or you can give

time to help people, causes, whatever.

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I To be of service in some way.

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I think we should all do that.

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That's a great thing to do to make

that transactional for the expectation.

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Here's the thing.

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If you're going to give, give without the

expectation of getting anything in return.

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If you hold the door open for someone and

they don't thank you for it, say what?

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Let it go.

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You don't need the thanks if you

do that, you're not really giving

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to give you're giving to get.

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So give to give if you're going to do

that, but this is that whole thing of if

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the expectation that if you do something

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you should get something back that

the universe or some kind of

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magical spirit is going to suddenly

deliver something into your lap.

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Now that whole nonsense with

Rhonda Byrne's The Secret.

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Now, I'm sorry if you like that book,

but it's absolute rubbish and again,

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life just doesn't work that way.

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It's easy to buy into stuff when sometimes

when we hear it from an authority voice.

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So all too often people are just focused

on doing stuff because they think

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they're going to get something back.

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There's this illusory idea that's

been given to many people and I think

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a lot of the personal development

world needs to hold its hands up

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to this if I'm honest because I've

come across it time and time again.

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And I don't like it one bit.

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I've also seen it in certain

religious environments as well.

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And I think it's very flawed

and very, it's magical thinking.

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And if the world works like

that for you, wonderful.

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I'd love to hear about it.

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I'm happy to be proven wrong,

but generally it just doesn't.

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So don't expect that just by being busy,

you're going to get results from it.

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Especially if the stuff

that you're being busy with.

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isn't stuff that's

going to make you money.

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And this kind of leads me to

one of the things that I've

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definitely been guilty of.

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And I would say still sometimes am because

I find it hard to back myself out of it.

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And I've talked about this before

in the show, where I have sometimes

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reached for the higher level output

without having some of the foundational

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elements in place in the business first.

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So I've wanted to write the book.

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I've wanted to have the podcast.

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I've wanted to be at those high level

activities when I didn't actually really

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have a good product in place that all

my coaching elements in place, speaker

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this keynote speeches and workshops

in place, all of those good things.

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And so that my, my brand, my

niche, all that stuff wasn't really

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figured out and I wouldn't know.

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And there's me trying to write

books and create podcasts.

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And the thing is, I fell in love with

podcasting, there's no doubt about that,

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there's no way I would still be doing

podcasting over five years later now,

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coming up to 200 episodes, happy to say.

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Although it has been a

bit on and off at points.

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But there's no way I'd still keep coming

back to it if it wasn't a passion.

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But it does get in the

way of other things.

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Now I am working to make it work

with what I'm doing, but it does

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take up a lot of time and effort.

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But because I enjoy doing it, I'm

happy to do it and it does have

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opportunities available within podcasting.

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To make money.

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So I couldn't tell you that I haven't

ever made money from my podcast.

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I have I've had sponsors, I've had

clients come through the podcast.

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And for those things.

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It's great, but is it enough to support

me over just the income from the podcast?

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Not at the moment, maybe in the future.

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Who knows?

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I would love that if that was the

case, but if that was all I did

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and I was actually wanting to have

a full book of coaching clients or

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wanting to have lots of speaking

gigs, it may not be that helpful.

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I mean, It wouldn't.

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Wouldn't be unhelpful, it will do

some good, but it probably wouldn't

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be the most helpful thing I could do.

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So it's really important to

look at the things that are more

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likely to generate income for you.

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Things like building up your email list,

your social media presence, guesting on

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podcasts and being interviewed in other

places, getting on stages and speaking,

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all those kinds of things that will

actually help to build your profile and

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have people at least know what you do,

how you could help them and how they

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can follow up with you as well, but if

we're busy, just writing blog articles

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all the time, or working on books or

doing all sorts of different projects,

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pulled in multiple different directions.

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One thing is we're going to find

ourselves really slowed down.

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It is like that thing of pushing your big

rock up the hill and picking up all the.

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pebbles and stones along the way.

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It's only going to get harder and

harder every time you do that and

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you'll start the next day at the bottom

of the hill with your big rock once

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again, never getting it over the top.

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How do we get past this?

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We probably do need to do a bit

of an audit on what we are doing

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activity wise and how much time

those things are taking and what kind

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of results they're getting for us.

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We should look at whether the activities

we're doing are generating income or not.

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And if they're not, and we need some

income generation, we need to start moving

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towards income generating activities.

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Because otherwise,

we're just wasting time.

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killing time, being busy, but we're

not going to see the results from that.

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So remember it is, there's no

quid pro quo with the universe.

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It's not you do this thing and the

magic suddenly happens and things start

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to mysteriously appear into your life.

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There's sometimes synchronicities

do happen, all that good stuff.

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Love it when it does.

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But if you're relying on that for the

success of your business good luck to you.

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So if you're doing too many things

all at once or too many unimportant

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things, have a bit of an activity audit.

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The next thing I want to get to

is something I certainly struggled

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with my early days of coaching, my

days of speaking, is either being

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unable or unwilling to niche down.

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And so it can be a real struggle

for people to pick a niche, and In

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the market we're in today, it's more

essential than ever that you do,

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because if you don't and you're trying

to appeal generally to people, unless

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you're already pretty well known,

you're going to have a big struggle.

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I'm not saying it can't be done,

I'm just saying it's going to be

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much less effective than if you can

become known for one specific thing.

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So if your area is relationship coaching

or relationship speaking, make sure you

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become known for that and try and niche

maybe even more specifically to that.

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It might be, sorry, I've come across this

in a lot of speakers I work with, might

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be that you want to speak specifically

to men who struggle with relationships or

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to women who've maybe been deeply hurt by

relationships and want to be able to build

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trust back up for future relationships.

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So many different ways you could niche.

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Into those particular areas.

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And that's just one example.

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There's certainly many more in

different areas of business and

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personal, professional, and even

religious and spiritual, if that's

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the kind of, if that's where you

operate as a speaker or coach.

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So I think the inability to niche for

some people does come down to a fear

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that you're going to cut yourself

off from more clients or more work,

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but better to be open to everyone.

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But it really isn't.

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And I've talked about this on The Coaching

Clinic podcast with my good pal, Angie.

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So if you are a coach and you haven't

been checking out The Coaching Clinic

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already you can hop over there.

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We have a whole episode that's about

niching that you're going to want to hear.

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If you're a speaker, if you're

unwilling to niche in the speaking

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circuits these days, good luck to you.

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Again, you're going to really struggle.

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I think you can have

some more vague Topics.

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If again, if you're in the spirituality,

religion area, you can probably get away

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with it a bit more, but if you are in

professional and corporate areas or even

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more personal areas, like relationship

coaching that mentioned, you really

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do need to be able to niche down.

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And if you're a financial coach, you

probably want to be able to niche down.

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Maybe it's a, you're a

money management coach.

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Maybe you're a money

management coach for women.

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Maybe you're a financial freedom

coach for men or for, Young adults,

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who knows, pick your niche and

decide, who are you going to help?

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Why are you going to help?

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Definitely make sure you're looking

to solve a problem for them and I

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think that's really where things

start to go wrong for most people.

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In the speaking world, if you're not

really willing to niche down in, certainly

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in business and corporate and professional

areas, you're going to struggle.

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You're really going to struggle.

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If you just go out there and say, hey,

I talk about leadership, so do hundreds

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of other people, hundreds, it's.

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Maybe even thousands of other speakers.

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So what makes you the person that

you speak to about leadership?

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Maybe if you're talking about a

particular aspect of leadership

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maybe you talk about inner leadership

and some of the qualities things

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people need to build or maybe you talk

about developing community or culture

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within businesses, and you can, again,

possibly get more specific to that.

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If you are aware that there's a

problem there, but I come across far

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too many people who just have an idea

of what they want to speak about and

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then take that out into the world.

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It's I'm not saying you can't

completely do that, but if you're

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not solving a problem for anyone

what's the incentive to book you?

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And here's what I've often said

to clients as well, especially

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in business and corporate.

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If you're not solving a problem, and

you're up against other speakers or

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coaches for contracts with those sorts

of areas, then, what's the incentive

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for them to find budget for you?

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People tend to be very

careful with their budgets.

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They want to make sure they're making a

wise spend when they book someone to speak

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or coach or workshop with their business.

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And so if it's a choice between you,

who has a general area or someone else

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who's solving a specific problem and

they have that problem, it's a very easy

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decision to go with that other person.

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Also, if budgets are really tight for

them and I think, Oh we don't know

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about this, If if it is a problem

that they have, people will tend to

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find the budget to make that happen.

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I think it's a very good idea to make

sure you are solving a problem for the

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people that you want to be coaching or

speaking to and a specific one at that.

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Recognize a problem they have.

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Is that going to be the only

thing you talk to them about or

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the only thing you coach them on?

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No, but it's your entry point.

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And it's the thing that you're

going to become more known for.

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So you're going to build around

that, which means you do still need

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to keep relevant to your key topic.

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You don't want to be going off at massive

tangents or into completely different

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areas from there, but it's very important

to sell your audience what they want

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and then give them what they need.

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So rather than taking out what you

want to present to the market, at

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least do your best to package it

up as something that they want.

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If you're struggling to niche, I'm more

than happy to have a quick conversation

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with you that might help to uncover at

least a few possible areas that you could

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niche into, and we can maybe even have a

little bit of discussion between general

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niching and hunting niches for business.

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You can book a quick discovery

call with me, reach out to me on

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LinkedIn or go to presentinfluence.

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com.

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You'll see the links there

for booking discovery calls.

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Another reason that people really

struggle is that they're just focused

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on the end result and not the action

that's really needed to get there.

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And that could be ultimately

disheartening because every day that

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you wake up and you think, Oh, take

a, let's take a look at my goals.

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Cause that's what you get told to

do in the world of goal setting.

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And then you feel like you're still

a million miles away from that goal

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that becomes disheartening, even

though you might actually be a little

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bit closer than you were yesterday.

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A little bit close to the next day, if

you keep going, but small progress is

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hard to appreciate and hard to monitor.

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And yet it's so important.

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So I say, definitely you want to know

what the end result is that you want to

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move towards, but it's just a target.

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And it's a target, you might hit the

bullseye or you might get somewhere

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on the board and you might end up on a

different target altogether, but it's a

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direction to move in a direction to fire

in, if you like, and to to So you've got

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somewhere to go and have some idea where

you're heading, but you might not, but

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it's never a direct line, we know this,

there's never a clear straight line

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from A to B, it's more of a spriggly

squirmy worm of a line that could go in

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all sorts of different directions before

it gets to anything close and it might

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actually not even get to point B at all.

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It might bypass and get to

point C who knows, but we have

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to be able to take action.

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And that's the thing that we really

need to focus on and people focus on

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the end result rather than the actions

that you need to be doing to get there.

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But the real goal is the

actions to get there.

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So I'll share with you one of mine.

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One of my goals is to get fitter and

healthier too, because I'm getting older

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and I want to still be able to move.

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I still want to be able to fit into

my clothes and that certainly got

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a bit harder after last Christmas.

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No, I've got myself going to the

swimming pool every day for us other

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than this week where I've been sick

going to the swimming pool every day

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for an hour every morning and making

that a consistent part of my routine.

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Now my real goal is to get up early,

go and have a swim, enjoy my swim feel

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healthier for it, maybe even have 10,

15 minutes in the steam bath afterwards,

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and then come home and start my day.

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I focus on the activities that

are going to get me the results.

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Now, they may not get me there

quickly, but they will get me there.

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And they're going to make me feel

better and healthier along the way.

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And we'll start to see

gradual improvement.

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And that's the thing we want.

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Far too many of us expect rapid

change and rapid improvement.

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And we end up doing these huge bursts

of action, expecting big change.

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And again, It generally

doesn't work that way.

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Some things might shift, but you're far

better to be creating consistent action.

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So as a speaker, as a coach, if

you're not prospecting for work and

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you need clients or bookings, that's

the thing that you need to focus on.

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That's the thing you need to That's

your real goal to become consistent

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with your daily prospecting.

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There may be other things you want

to add into that, but that probably

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is the number one thing that's

going to make the biggest difference

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to you in getting more bookings.

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But it does lead to another thing of

that struggle to stay self motivated

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and stay consistent with this.

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We sometimes seem to expect motivation

to just appear when we need it or

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to, again, magically descend from the

clouds and suddenly we're motivated.

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When motivation appears like

that, great, please utilize it.

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But, as I think it was Zig Ziglar

who said motivation is like bathing.

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It doesn't last, which is

why we recommend it daily.

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But it's not, again, it's not

some magical thing where it just

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happens, it's about self motivation.

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And again, I just showed you a quick story

here and it will be quick, I promise.

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But one of my first jobs, if you

can really call it that after

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leaving school, before I did decide

to to go to university instead.

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was sales.

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It was pretty much office to office

sales and it was a really crappy job and

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it was selling these knockoff perfumes.

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I'm pretty sure it was

some kind of pyramid scam.

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I'm not sure how legal

the whole thing was.

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I think it was one of those, it's

just about legal, because we slightly

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changed the formulas, but we make these

smell almost exactly like everything.

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:

You see those perfumes in some of the

cheap stores around, I guess now, but at

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:

that time when that was still a new thing,

and everyone was very big on these latest

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:

scents, Jean Paul Gaultier, and Oh, what

was the other one that I really hate?

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:

Kuros.

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:

That these cheap knockoffs

would sell, but the, there'd be

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:

this team of youngish people.

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:

I'm going to say I would have been, I

would have been, I think 18 at the time.

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:

So I was pretty young, pretty naive.

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:

And I'd never done sales before.

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:

I did not know what to expect.

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:

I was just happy that someone was

giving me a job, So it would have

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:

been some, somewhere around 1990.

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:

And so it wasn't really a great

time to be looking for a job.

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:

Yeah, that's how old I am.

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:

And so every morning there would

be this big motivation session.

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:

And honestly, if we didn't have

that, I wouldn't have been able to

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:

make it past a few offices because

the rejection rate was so high.

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:

And to be honest with you, some people

were horribly rude as well, because

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:

this was in central London, that

that was incredibly demotivating.

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:

You had the phone number so you

could call in, we didn't have

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:

mobile phones at that time.

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:

So you had to find a phone box

and call back to the office and

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:

get your little motivation boost.

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:

I didn't last very long with that job,

but I do know I wouldn't have even

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:

made it past the first day had they

not had those motivation sessions.

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:

And so I know that it's very important to

be motivated, especially to get ourselves

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:

to do stuff that we don't really want

to do, or that especially can become

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:

demotivating, disheartening if we don't

get results sooner rather than later.

379

:

And so we have to take responsibility

for motivating ourselves and figuring

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:

out those things that can do that.

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:

Some of the ways I like to do that,

as we talk about being consistent with

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:

exercise, I do think there is a good

correlation with exercise and motivation.

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:

And I think a lot of science is proving

that, which I think is another great

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:

reason to make sure that there's at least

even if it's just walking every day or

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:

whatever you can do, exercise wise, some

kind of exercise is going to be better.

386

:

Helpful to you in being able

to motivate yourself more.

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:

Sometimes it's decisions to self motivate.

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:

I use things like declarations.

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:

I use meditation.

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:

I use.

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:

Sometimes music I listen to personal

and professional development stuff,

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:

podcasts and certainly I love comedy

as well to put me in a good state.

393

:

But I also find that when I'm taking

action and tracking what I'm doing

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:

and feeling on top of things, that

also helps me to feel motivated.

395

:

And those things help me to

stay consistent with it as well.

396

:

So I'd also add to this that

having a productivity journal

397

:

has been very helpful to me.

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:

I've used several and I've

used the Panda planner.

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:

I've used the intelligent change

productivity planner, which I think

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:

has probably been my favorite, which

I will go back to, and I think this is

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:

good especially for people who may be

struggling with procrastination, but also

402

:

I've recommended this to overachievers

I've worked with before, who sometimes

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:

don't realize just how much they're doing.

404

:

And so one run lady I was working with

who was very motivated, definitely a

405

:

big overachiever was doing so much.

406

:

She felt like she just

was never doing enough.

407

:

And yet when she started doing

her activity tracking and to

408

:

look with as much objectivity for

ourselves as she could manage.

409

:

She started to see that she was doing

far more than she realized when she saw

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:

it written down and she was evaluating

her day to day and then more able to

411

:

evaluate her weeks and her months, it

really helped her to have that overview.

412

:

So I do recommend productivity planners

for anyone who struggles in this area.

413

:

But think about whatever might

help you to motivate yourself.

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:

Accountability might help

coaching certainly helps.

415

:

So many different things can

help you with your motivation.

416

:

Make sure you have those things in place

and consistent, because this is the thing.

417

:

If I were not consistently motivated,

418

:

We'll always be good starters and

we'll never be good finishers.

419

:

And that's why we'd always

get to that certain point and

420

:

never really get any further.

421

:

Let's give a few honorable mentions

before we wrap up for today.

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:

Self doubt and resistance to change.

423

:

So obviously self doubt comes up for so

many of us, imposter syndrome, whatever

424

:

you want to call it, but this sort of

thing of who am I to be doing this?

425

:

I find that by reminding myself that this

isn't even about me, it's about serving

426

:

my audience, helping other people, then

I can help myself to get out of the way,

427

:

do the things that I really need to be

doing that I might have some resistance

428

:

to, or feel I'm not good enough to

do, and just go and do them anyway.

429

:

Resistance to change, I know it could be

resistance to positive change, resistance

430

:

to negative change, just resistance to

life might look very different if you

431

:

get success or failure with whatever

you're working on, but the only reframe

432

:

I can really think that helps with

this Is that change is inevitable?

433

:

It's one of the few things we

can count on change will happen.

434

:

It's only our resistance to it

that starts to cause stress to it.

435

:

It's like that Buddhist expression

of resistance to what is,

436

:

is the cause of all stress.

437

:

So if you struggle with resistance

to change, you are struggling with

438

:

resistance to what is, because change

is, what is, it's going to happen.

439

:

We can't hold things in a

particular moment of time.

440

:

We can't hold on to the exact

amount of money we've got.

441

:

We can't hold on to maybe the exact

job or position we have, life is

442

:

always going to include change.

443

:

It's far better that we appreciate

what we have in our life right now.

444

:

Be grateful for it.

445

:

Be grateful for the people in your

life that you love and care about

446

:

and that love and care about you.

447

:

Be grateful for your home your

food, your experiences, your

448

:

vacations, your professional life.

449

:

Anything that you can feel grateful

for, experiences that you have in

450

:

the past, whatever, all the things

that have helped you get to where you

451

:

are right now, be grateful for them.

452

:

Because when we have gratitude

and appreciation for what we have

453

:

right now, We fear less losing it

because we'll always have things

454

:

in our lives to be grateful for.

455

:

And we're always going to have the

possibility of losing things in

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:

our lives that we've had before.

457

:

And we really do need to sometimes work

on getting over that loss aversion,

458

:

which I think is really where a lot

of resistance change comes from, that

459

:

we think we're going to lose out.

460

:

I hope that this has been a somewhat

useful episode and I'm going to

461

:

wrap things up before my voice

decides to completely fade out.

462

:

But I will say this, I'll be back

next week with another amazing guest,

463

:

and hopefully publishing back on

the usual Wednesday I'll bring out

464

:

another solo episode next Friday.

465

:

So we'll check in again there.

466

:

But if you have questions about anything

we've talked about today, or if you are

467

:

interested in finding out about more

about what I do at Present Influence

468

:

or checking out The Coaching Clinic

podcast, if you'd like to come and

469

:

listen to me and Angie chatting away

about all things, coaching and coaching

470

:

business on there, then please do that.

471

:

I'll put links in the show

notes for all those good things.

472

:

And if you haven't already listened to

my episode this week with Cam Beaudoin,

473

:

Please do go back and check that out.

474

:

It's all about everything you need

to have a killer speaker demo reel.

475

:

And it is one of the essentials, really a

secret weapon for getting you booked as a

476

:

speaker and making some good money at it.

477

:

So do go and check out that episode.

478

:

I look forward to checking

in with you again very soon.

479

:

Take care.

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About the Podcast

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Present Influence
The podcast that helps professional communicators learn the skills that increase influence, impact and authority.

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About your host

Profile picture for John Ball

John Ball

John Ball is a keynote coach and professional speaker on a mission to help upcoming leaders master their communication, create impact and stand out as experts in their field.
John left the high life of his flying career to do something more meaningful to him and has since worked with several leading personal and professional development organisations as a lead coach and trainer.
The heart of everything John does involves helping people shift to personal responsibility and conscious awareness of how they show up and perform in every situation, whilst equipping them with the tools to be exceptional.
John also co-hosts The Coaching Clinic Podcast with his great friend and colleague Angie Besignano.
He lives in the beautiful city of Valencia, Spain with his husband and often visits the UK and US for speaking and training engagements. When he's not speaking or podcasting, he's likely to be out swimming, kayaking or enjoying time with friends.

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