Are you just kidding yourself? Do you have what it takes to make a business work?

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Welcome to Podfluence, the show for business coaches and speakers

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who are looking to build influence and authority through podcasting.

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In this episode of the show, I wanted to discuss something that I

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hear come up a lot with clients.

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And it comes into a few different issues.

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One of the main ones just being insecurity and things that stop us from being

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able to achieve success in our lives.

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And part of it is that thing of, are you just kidding yourself?

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Can you really make this happen?

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And I think it's reasonable to ask ourselves this question, and I want to

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spend some time examining it because it does come up for people a lot.

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This episode is perhaps, perhaps gonna be a little more free form than

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some of the other episodes that I'm doing, but my aim is gonna be to share

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with you some of my own insights and experience in terms of dealing with

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this thing of, with this insecurity of wondering if we're just kidding

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ourselves about whether we can have any level of success in life or business,

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or if we're just kidding ourselves.

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With that said, if you are not already subscribed to the Podfluence podcast,

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then I invite you to do that Now, if you have your device in your hand, please

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make sure that you open up the player that you're listening to this on, and

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click the plus button if you're on Apple or Spotify or whatever it is, you

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need to press on your device to make sure that you are following the show.

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For more episodes with me, by myself, and certainly more so with my amazing guests

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who are coming up on the show very soon.

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In fact, we will be speaking with the Queen of Podcast Guesting very soon, and

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if you wanna find out more about who she is and what she does and the amazing value

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that she shares in her episode, then you do want to make sure you're subscribed.

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So, Let's get into this episode of Pod Fluence.

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So welcome to the show, and as I said, this is gonna be a little bit more of a

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freeform episode, but I want to really take a look at the whole concept of

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whether we're just kidding ourselves.

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That thing that comes up in our head this part of ourselves, maybe

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our inner saboteur, we could call it.

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That sometimes seems like it's laughing at us, that we don't

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really have what we said we want.

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We're not really as far as far along with things as we expected or hoped to be, and

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we wonder if we're just kidding ourselves.

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If we can ever really have any kind of success, if we're

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ever gonna break through.

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If you're ever gonna be anyone of note as a coach or a speaker or a podcast,

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or whatever it is that you are looking to do, maybe all of these and more.

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A quick update on me professionally, , because if you have been listening

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to the show, you'll know that

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for a while I was working with the team at Grow The Show.

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Unfortunately, things just didn't work out there and ended up moving

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on, but I'm now working with the team at the Speaker lab with Grant Baldwin

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and his team, and it is an amazing group of people to be working with.

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Where I get to on a daily basis, fulfill part of my mission of helping people

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to build influence on authority, on the path of becoming professional speakers.

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I'm loving the work.

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I get to do that.

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and thank you to Grant and the team.

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In fact, I was listening to Grant's book, the successful speaker, something I, I

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put it when it came out and decided to re-listen to the audio book just recently.

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And one of the things that came up was an interview at the end of the

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audio book, and I'm not sure if this is in the actual hardback book.

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I haven't checked it.

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I should go and take a look.

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But, Grant was asked whether he still has any insecurities about his success and

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about, about the longevity of his career and things, and he said very much so.

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Like all the time, still has fears or, you know, still has that imposter syndrome

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still has those insecurities about

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who is he to be doing all of this?

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All this questions come up, but it doesn't stop him from taking action.

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That was very powerful for me to hear that.

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And you know, I've spoken to Grant a few times.

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He's been a guest on this show back in February, 2022,

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you can go and take a listen.

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It was a great chat with him and now I'm working with him.

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It's great.

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But he's such a down to earth person, very natural, very normal.

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And I can understand why we feel like we sometimes have to be these larger than

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live celebrity peop type people with X factor to star quality and all this

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all the time, those things are great to have, but they're not essential.

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We still have plenty of great qualities that we can turn up and

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enhance to get ourselves out there, to be noticed, to be valuable, to be

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interesting to people, and engaging, growing our authority and our status.

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But are you just kidding yourself that you can make it happen for you?

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What?

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What are the reasons why it wouldn't?

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Well, I can think for my, from my own experience, one of the things that has

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caused me to ask myself that question more than any other has been because

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of not taking action of overthinking things, really getting caught up in

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planning and trying to make things perfect before even getting started.

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And it's an issue that came up in my last episode with Angela Henderson and, and

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it was great to revisit that and I wrote a little about it in my blog as well.

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If you're not already following Podfluencer Weekly, please do.

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I mean it's free to follow on LinkedIn.

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And you can also follow it Through Convert Kit.

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You'll find the links in the show notes.

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And I like to write about this stuff because it's stuff that I've been

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through myself and I don't always want to just talk about my own experience.

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I wanna talk about experiences that clients I have worked with as well.

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Because it's important that we get that it's not just one

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person's perspective on the world.

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These are commonalities that many of us share.

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And we want to make sure that we understand that we can

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move past these things.

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We can grow, we can develop, we can change.

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They don't have to hold us back.

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But I will say this, I've seen people with such great potential, such great

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knowledge who probably do deserve to be really well known for what they do.

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But they're not.

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And the reason why they're not is because they just don't take enough action.

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They don't actually generally have the belief in themselves to be able to get up

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on, on the stage and get past that voice inside of them, the inner saboteur that's

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telling them they're not good enough.

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That's telling them they're not entertaining enough.

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That's telling them that they're not influential enough.

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They don't have the status or, or the following or whatever it is,

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but that voice will come up and it will take you out every single time.

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Someone else who I've worked with a great deal over the years is

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T Harv Eker and Harv calls this mind freak, Mental Friction.

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It's the stuff that comes up when we start trying to do good things in

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our lives and to make things better.

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Your brain starts to throw out all the reasons why you can't do that, why

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it's not for you, and we'll try and take you out of the game if you let it.

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And that really is what this episode is about, how to not let that kind

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of thing take you out the game.

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There's an old adage that some of you may have heard.

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I don't like it and I don't necessarily agree with it, but the

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thing of those who can do and those who can't teach is not really true.

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But there is an element to which there's far more value, in my personal opinion,

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in somebody who has experiential knowledge than someone who just has.

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Informational knowledge that just has book knowledge.

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There's a very big difference that when book knowledge meets

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reality, it doesn't always match up.

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And that's not, oh, of course sometimes it does, but quite often it doesn't.

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And, and so people who've been through the experience and know the kind of stuff

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that does actually come up, the challenges that arise in these kinds of situations,

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have a very different understanding in the application of knowledge than

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people who just have the knowledge without the application and experience.

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And that's really what I'm talking about here as well, because we don't know until

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we try and very often we don't really try or we half try because we think we

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probably will fail or we think we're not really good enough so we don't commit.

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We have commit because if we're not fully committed then we

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haven't really lost anything.

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If we don't go all in, then it's not quite so embarrasing.

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It's, oh, I wasn't, I wasn't, you know, if when it fails then and

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I wasn't really all in on it, I wasn't really fully committed to it.

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You have your excuse already to go, but that is probably

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the reason why you did fail.

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The reason why it didn't work out or go as well as you wanted, or another one

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that I've been guilty of as well is that success doesn't happen quick enough.

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The following doesn't build quick enough and take podcasting.

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And I, my goodness, if I had known how long it takes to build an

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audience through podcasting or through blogging or things like that, I might

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never have started these things.

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But yet I'm so glad that I did because I get to talk about stuff like this

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and uh, and I do know from people who come on the show and from people who do

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feed back to me from articles and from episodes, value that they've taken away

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and things that they've learned from it.

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So I keep doing it and hopefully keep improving at it as well and worry less

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about what people are thinking about me or, or whether I really am good

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enough, because I would much rather get stuff out there that might just

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inspire someone or make a difference or give them that piece of knowledge

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or understanding that allows them to get to the goals and objectives that

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are looking to be, do, have, or create.

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I would say if, if you are one of these people who just talks a good

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game and doesn't really take action or you know, you just want to, I impress

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people and look good, but you don't really care about the substance to

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that, it's gonna be very difficult.

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And you might actually just be kidding yourself.

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If you are one of those people who just goes from project to project, business

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to business, New thing to new thing, which I've been guilty of as well.

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you may be be kidding yourself if you're just not seeing things through,

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if you're really just not prepared to stick with stuff long enough to get to

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a point at which it might have success.

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And what tends to happen for many others, and I, I actually this particularly in,

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in people who do not network marketing kinds of businesses, initial enthusiasm.

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Always fades.

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It just doesn't last.

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It doesn't matter how excited you are about something and how motivated

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you are when it gets started.

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Once the rubber hits the road, life will throw up curve balls, things will happen.

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Unexpected stuff, things you could never have planned for.

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It nearly always takes longer than you think it's going to take, and it gets

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frustrating or the results don't come in

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anything like you were expecting or the responses you get are

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very different to what you were imagining and people get put off.

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I'll tell you a story.

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When I, when I very first, when I very first started creating video content,

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back in early days of YouTube, I decided to post up some marketing videos and,

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uh, oh my goodness, it didn't go well.

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And this is in a time where now, now if you post a video on YouTube and you don't

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really have a following or anyone's, no, no one's really gonna pay attention to

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it, you might not get any views at all.

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And, and that's pretty normal now.

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It takes a while to build that following.

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It takes a while to get attention.

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You need the optimization plans and stuff, but in the early days of

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YouTube, you didn't really need that.

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Like if you were posting videos, you were one of a handful of

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people really, who were posting videos and making content there.

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You would get seen, you would get watched, and my videos got watched,

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not necess, I'm not talking hundreds or thousands or anything like that, but

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they got watched and they got criticized.

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In fact, they got pulled apart.

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I personally got rinsed from my videos because they were so bad, they're so

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inauthentic and I couldn't deal with it.

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I couldn't deal with the feedback, the negativity.

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I was just get, trying to get started out trying to do something good, really

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trying to step, put myself in that sort of discomfort zone of doing something

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that I was scared about doing, and the feedback I got was so negative generally

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that it stopped me from doing anything for a couple more years.

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It was a, a good long time before I put anything else out on YouTube.

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I care far less about that stuff now.

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I care far less about that on podcasting as well.

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It's like negative criticism is always gonna come from somewhere and

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some one and if there's something valid there and if there's something

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to take away from that, then great.

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But very often that negativity, that negative criticism is really all about.

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Someone else's negativity, someone else seeing you out there doing your thing and

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thinking, oh, and they may be thinking, I could do it better, but guess what?

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They're not.

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They're not out there doing it better.

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They're just there criticizing you, imagining that they could do a better job.

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And that sucks just tearing other people down because you

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are not where you want to be.

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Look, to be honest, if they, if they were, if, if they were anywhere near

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where they wanted to be, they probably wouldn't be having time to watch your

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stuff on YouTube or where whatever channels they may be watching it on,

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they'd be too busy getting on with it.

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And, They would hopefully be of a mind that they understand that

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a rising tide raises all ships.

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That we should be helping to build each other up, not tear each other down.

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You gain nothing from that.

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You might feel better about it in a moment.

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You might even feel that it gives you that little bit of power to make someone

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feel like crap for, um, however long that might do that, that you might just, you

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know, really hit someone where it hurts and then punch them in the emotions.

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And you might, you might well achieve that cuz a lot of people are very sensitive

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and do take that stuff very personally.

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I certainly used to and don't so much now, but we are not prepared,

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we're not prepared for that.

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To have the mental resilience that we need to have to put ourselves out onto stages.

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Whether that's public speaking stages, virtual stages, podcasts,

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books, um, other online content.

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These are all stages.

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These are all platforms in which we present ourselves.

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And there is a level to which we must accept that if we're gonna do that, if

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we have a message to share, if we have an audience to serve, if we've decided

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that we have a purpose, a mission, a vision for what we want to create, to

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help people to make a difference and to do something positive in the world, then

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that is worth putting yourself in the way of some negative criticism to get that.

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In fact, it's also worth going through the levels of sucking at it, until

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you get good or at least get better, or to get to the point where people

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will be happy to listen to you for a while, or you may even start to get

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noticed for what you're doing or saying.

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It takes time to get there, and most people are not prepared to suck.

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They're not prepared to go through what we call the level of conscious competence

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where you're having to learn all the stuff that makes you better at what you do.

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We do have this ridiculous idea that we're supposed to be naturally good at stuff

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from the start, and it is ridiculous.

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Nobody is born being naturally good.

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Some people do have, dispositions that make things easier for them.

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They maybe have a great level of confidence.

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They may be very attractive people and have a genetic advice of genetic

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advantages, and that's all good.

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But one thing I'll say is

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this.

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Will, determination, commitment, persistence, driving forward with this

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will nearly always outdo natural talent, inability in the long run because unless

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the people with their natural gifts do realize and recognize that they need to

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train too, that they need to grow beyond just what they can naturally, easily do.

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And keep that growth going.

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That growth should be a never ending thing for any of us, like we

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should always be looking for ways to keep growing and developing.

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If you don't realize that you will start to regress at some point.

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Natural ability will only get you so far.

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You will be watching other people overtake you at some point, and

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that is not going to be fun.

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So here's the thing.

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Are you just killing yourself or are you serious about this?

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So here's what I'll say.

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If you really want to make a difference, if you have a, a mission and a

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message to share with people, then you have to be prepared to take some

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of the shit that comes along with it.

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And if you're not, if you're too sensitive to that, if you're not really willing, To

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get feedback, to grow from that feedback and to recognize you don't have to be

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good at stuff right from the start.

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It's all about improving.

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If you can't do that, then you are kidding yourself.

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You're not gonna get anywhere.

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You are gonna keep yourself at a level to which you're comfortable,

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and you may talk a great game.

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You may have great ideas, you may have some natural gifts.

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You may have your little group who love what you do, but it's

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never really gonna go beyond that.

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And so, yeah, you would be kidding yourself in that kind of situation.

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If all you ever do is come up with great ideas and spend all your time thinking

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about them, or you have these sort of plans of what you want to be, do, have,

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or create in your life and all you do is go and meditate on it or write about it,

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put it in your journal, or visualize it.

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But nothing ever really happens.

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That's why you are kidding yourself.

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Action is the key, is the secret to all of this, and is the thing that

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will get you past all of those fears and all of the stuff that comes up.

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When your mind frick starts to take you out, you tell

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yourself, I'm gonna, that's okay.

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Oh, one thing

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harv says, thank you for sharing.

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I love that.

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Tell your unsupportive mind when it is unsupportive, thank you for sharing.

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You acknowledge it's there.

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You're not trying to suppress it.

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You acknowledge it's there and you accept that that is reality of a thought that's

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come up in your head, but it is just that.

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It's just a thought.

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So thank your mind for sharing and then remind yourself.

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You don't have to listen to that.

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You've acknowledged it.

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It's there, the thought's there, but yeah.

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Okay.

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Whatever.

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Thanks for sharing.

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I'm gonna take action anyway.

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And that's the decision we have to make.

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And that's how we start developing some mental resilience because

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it's, uh, it's not just about us.

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And when it becomes about something more than just about us and what we want for

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ourselves or, about us looking good, or us looking cool, it's not about that.

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It's about service.

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It's about who you can help.

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It's about the difference that you can make.

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And if that's what you are about, you will weather whatever comes your way.

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Because it's worth it for the people who you want to serve.

John Ball: 00:18:46

You will stand in the way of the slings and arrows that people may throw at

John Ball: 00:18:50

you, at least metaphorically, hopefully not physically, because it's worth it

John Ball: 00:18:56

to make that difference and to help the people who you want to help to share

John Ball: 00:18:59

the message that you want to share.

John Ball: 00:19:01

This is your purpose, and if you are not prepared to put yourself in some

John Ball: 00:19:07

discomfort, To feel those sometimes horrible feelings of not being very good

John Ball: 00:19:13

at something or having a presentation not go very well, or a podcast interview

John Ball: 00:19:17

that you sounded awful on or you said the wrong thing on, or that you feel like

John Ball: 00:19:21

you looked like a fool in a particular situation, or you wrote an article

John Ball: 00:19:25

with something that got misinterpreted.

John Ball: 00:19:27

All that stuff's gonna happen, but it's all part of the process.

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And that's how you get to where you wanna get.

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So if you can push through and keep taking action, then I would say

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that you're not kidding yourself.

John Ball: 00:19:41

You will get there.

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But accept that the road may be longer than you wish it was, but

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it will all be worth it when you start seeing the results from it.

John Ball: 00:19:52

And that's it.

John Ball: 00:19:53

That's this episode of Podfluence.

John Ball: 00:19:54

Really just to share with you that you can do this.

John Ball: 00:19:59

But get out your head, get out of your mind frick.

John Ball: 00:20:03

Get out of whatever it is that is allowing you to think that you don't have to

John Ball: 00:20:08

take the action, or that you can just keep talking about taking action and

John Ball: 00:20:12

not actually doing it, because that is never going to create real world results.

John Ball: 00:20:17

And I want you to have real world results.

John Ball: 00:20:19

I want you to make a difference that this whole podcast is about

John Ball: 00:20:22

giving you some of the tools and resources to be able to do that.

John Ball: 00:20:26

And that's why I hope you'll first of all come back and listen to us

John Ball: 00:20:29

again, especially when I have my interview with Christine Ammerman,

John Ball: 00:20:32

who's the queen of podcast guesting.

John Ball: 00:20:35

I'm very much looking forward to bringing that interview for you.

John Ball: 00:20:37

She shared so much wonderful information and she's such a nice person as well.

John Ball: 00:20:42

Hope you'll come back and join me for that.

John Ball: 00:20:43

I hope this episode has been some value for you as well and I will appreciate

John Ball: 00:20:48

any feedback on what you think of this

John Ball: 00:20:50

somewhat more free form style of the show, right?

John Ball: 00:20:54

I knew what I wanted to talk about.

John Ball: 00:20:55

I knew I had something to share today and I just wanted to try this out.

John Ball: 00:20:59

Did it work?

John Ball: 00:21:00

Did it not?

John Ball: 00:21:01

I'd love to hear from you.

John Ball: 00:21:02

I'm ready for that feedback and I'm ready to take those chances

John Ball: 00:21:05

that what I put out in this episode may not be to the quality that you

John Ball: 00:21:09

expect from Podfluence or from me.

John Ball: 00:21:11

Or it might be, ah, we'd like a bit more of this.

John Ball: 00:21:14

We'd like to hear a bit more I wanna hear you talking directly to me.

John Ball: 00:21:17

You want to hear you.

John Ball: 00:21:19

want to have that, that conversation as if I was there to join in with

John Ball: 00:21:22

you, cuz I love this and, uh, I would love to do more of it.

John Ball: 00:21:27

So lemme know what you think.

John Ball: 00:21:29

Join us again next time for Podfluence and I will very much look forward

John Ball: 00:21:32

, to connecting with you there.

John Ball: 00:21:33

Wherever you're going, wherever you're doing, have an amazing rest of your day.